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    #91
    Ready for a way out

    Margaret I am so happy for you! Fantastic job getting through the weekend! I've been sleeping so much better since stopping.

    Juja I'm with you. I'll take quiet over the drunken me any day.

    A New Me--Welcome to MWO. We all think we're the only one, but it's surprising how many of us share the same story. You are not alone.

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      #92
      Ready for a way out

      Good job Margaret! I envy you - I have been struggling. I have had a couple of glasses. Nothing out of control... - actually really remarkable considering I CHOSE to stop after one glass!
      But I feel I failed deep inside ....
      Back again trying to be on track...

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        #93
        Ready for a way out

        e-g-73;1160910 wrote: Good job Margaret! I envy you - I have been struggling. I have had a couple of glasses. Nothing out of control... - actually really remarkable considering I CHOSE to stop after one glass!
        But I feel I failed deep inside ....
        Back again trying to be on track...
        Nothing but perfection for you, eh? Can you see the good in what you've accomplished? Can you see how you're closer to where you want to be than you were a month ago?


        Ring the bells that still can ring
        Forget your perfect offering.
        There is a crack in everything,
        That's how the light gets in.
        ~Leonard Cohen

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          #94
          Ready for a way out

          Flyaway - I can... but I do feel I let everyone down. I should be able to stay away from alcohol for 30 dyas. I can stay away from sugar and carbs, and all kinds off things for 30 day... why not wine ????

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            #95
            Ready for a way out

            EG you have done well. You have non drinking days under your belt and you are aware that you will want more after 1. I've been having cravings too. I just really want to make it to 2 weeks, so Thursday. That is my small goal right now. I was just so pathetic and gross on July 27th, drank too much at a concert, I don't even remember leaving, that when I think about how disgusting I must have looked, I am able to fight the urge to drink.

            Thanks for the encouragement Fly, New Me, and Juja. I really appreciate it!!!
            ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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              #96
              Ready for a way out

              EG, have you ever heard of Byron Katie? She's an author who wrote a book that I think is astounding called Loving What Is. She talks about our thoughts and how we create depression and conflict in our lives by believing our thoughts without really examining them. One thing she says is that you don't get up in the morning and think, "Today I'm not going to think." Or, "Now I'm thinking." You're already thinking. It's automatic, like breathing. So you have a million and one thoughts go through your mind each day. Are they all true? Is it true that I should be 20 pounds lighter and my butt shouldn't be this flabby and that everyone on the road in front of me should get out of the way and that I should get every traffic light green? Of course not. But you have thoughts like that go through your mind anyway. Byron Katie created something she calls "The Work." It's a way to examine your thoughts and a way to eliminate stress and depression from your life. She has you ask yourself questions. You said that you let everyone down. Is that true? Is that really true? You had 2 drinks. And you CHOSE to stop drinking. You let everyone down. Is that true? No, I'd say it's not true at all, but that thought is making you feel terrible. She goes on to have you do what she calls "the turnaround" with your thoughts as well and it can be hugely insightful. I think I've blathered on enough about her, but her book is great and you can find some clips of her on Youtube as well doing The Work. I think if you really examined the truth of where you are now and how you handled the 2 drinks you could lose a lot of your disappointment.

              You should treat yourself with the same compassion that you'd treat one of us if we told you that we had a slip and had 2 drinks but stopped. You deserve love and compassion just like everyone else. I honestly think that you are doing a great job. If you were to start studying Mandarin you wouldn't expect to learn it in 2 weeks, but you'd know more after 2 weeks than before you started! You're progressing and getting smarter about finding sobriety and you will get there. Believe it. :l

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                #97
                Ready for a way out

                Margaret345;1161013 wrote: EG you have done well. You have non drinking days under your belt and you are aware that you will want more after 1. I've been having cravings too. I just really want to make it to 2 weeks, so Thursday. That is my small goal right now. I was just so pathetic and gross on July 27th, drank too much at a concert, I don't even remember leaving, that when I think about how disgusting I must have looked, I am able to fight the urge to drink.

                Thanks for the encouragement Fly, New Me, and Juja. I really appreciate it!!!
                Margaret I felt like an idiot at my work Christmas party last year. It wasn't actually at the party, but 8 of us went out to a bar after the party for more drinks. I asked one of the guys the next time I saw him at work what time he left the bar that night and he said, "What are you talking about, we left together. Don't you remember?" :blush:

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                  #98
                  Ready for a way out

                  Thank yo Margaret and FlyAway! I feel stronger today and committed to living healthy and AF! Tomorrow my baby girl turns *4*! I want to just focus on my kids and my family and that gives me strength to be a better person all around.

                  Lots of love!

                  eg

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                    #99
                    Ready for a way out

                    Happy birthday to your little girl eg! I hope you have a blast with her on her big day.

                    Happy to have made it to Day 14. I am feeling ok overall, I just have extreme fatigue. I can't shake it. I'm not sure if I am getting sick or if it is AL withdrawl related. I just know I am tired all day long!
                    ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                      Ready for a way out

                      Hello everyone, I am new here. Today is my first alcohol-free day and I feel so shaky and anxious, but I am determined to quit drinking forever. Alcohol has controlled my life for long enough and I want it back. Can anyone offer some ideas about how to get through the evening, when my usual bottle of wine is no longer an option? Thank you.
                      :alf:
                      AF Day 1 = 27-08-2012
                      Goal #1: 7 days (02-09-2012) :h
                      Goal #2: 30 days (26-09-2012)
                      Goal #3: 100 days (05-12-2012)
                      :baaah:

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                        Ready for a way out

                        Hi Rollerblader! It is great you are here. There is a ton of support on these boards that is so helpful any time of day/night. Check out the tool box for lots of great ideas to help you be ready when cravings come.

                        Personally, I have found that I have to break my routine of being home and starting dinner around 5 or so. I've been a crappy cook lately, but the days I did start dinner around 5, I was craving wine badly. Luckily there wasn't any in the house so I made it through but it was all I could think about. When I don't do dinner at that time, like today I'll prepare everything earlier, then reheat, I won't get the same intense cravings. It actually has worked out that my son has a sports practice 3 evenings a week. It's during my "witching hour" and broken my "home no later then 5 so I can get my drink on" routine.
                        ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                          Ready for a way out

                          Hooray Margaret! :wd::wd::wd:

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                            Ready for a way out

                            Hi Margaret,

                            I am a lot like you been here off and on.

                            Well, this has been a long summer. I am really feeling the effects of drinking every weekend. I have a boat and boats and booze seem to go together. Last night I went down to the bot and drank my face off. Had a 12 pack in about 4 hours. I went there with the intention of working on the boat and got nothing done.

                            I am so hung over today. I guess that is what happens when you pound. It took a while to remember everything that happened. I am still having marital issues and when they get bad, I tend to want to drink more.

                            With that being said, i am going home to talk to my wife tonight and make a plan to start slowing down and then do a 3 month Dry period before I go on vacation.

                            I am at the point where I need to get back on the wagon...
                            Starting over again 09/06/11

                            "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

                            sigpic

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                              Ready for a way out

                              Vacation gets me too Change. I need to avoid it until I am sure I can go and not binge on al.

                              Day 16 done! Ready for the weekend!
                              ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                                Ready for a way out

                                You know, I am really glad I have this little "journal" here of my bumpy road to sobriety. I often look back at my posts, from a year or so ago, and my many posts swearing off alcohol with a new AF day 1. The posts remind me of how much I don't want to have another Day 1 and how I wish I had just stuck with sobriety back then.

                                Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be where I am now and realize that some of my humiliating, drunken "incidents" over the past year, were needed for me to really wake up and realize I am an alcoholic.

                                The past posts, especially from April and May this year, only clarify my thoughts that drinking all summer (as well as the past 22 years), wasn't worth it. The fun I had with drinking between the last Day 1 and the most recent just wasn't that special. Looking back, I know I would not have had any less of a good time had I stayed sober. In July alone, I lost at least a week's worth of days, lying in bed with hangover after hangover.

                                I thought about drinking tonight. We went out to dinner and a glass of wine sounded nice. I went back and read through my progress in this thread and I was only reminded that if I had a glass of wine I would have finished a whole bottle. Acknowledging this fact, my cravings went away, and I went on to enjoy dinner with my family sober and happy. I enjoyed the food and the company. I didn't pound a glass or two before we left for the restaurant, drink a glass as soon as we got there and obsess over whether or not I should order my 2nd or 3rd glass (really 4th or 5th at that point) or just finish the bottle as soon as we got home, leaving my DH to tuck the kids in bed. Tonight instead of drinking, I tucked both kids in and gave them lots of hugs, without wine on my breath, and without tripping over their toys and slurring a goodnight.
                                ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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