Dreading tonight

[wannachange]

Hi all, I am not new here, I had to change my name cause I know someone found out I use this site and are stalking me.
I am dreading this weekend, I am alone and bored and feeling in a lot of pain, I have been AF about 3 months now but after reading some posts in here recently I see that AL sooths pain, oh how I want my pain to go away.
I am alone so what harm can I do? I will hide the keys of my car and stock up well on cigs so I don't have to drive out for more.
I don't want to do it but I so want this pain to go away and the stalker to stop following me so I can at least come in here and talk to you good people. Horrid not knowing who I am but I can't tell you right now until I know the stalker is gone and given up.

[mario]

Dreading tonight

hi wanna change well done on 3 months alcohol free,Believe me alcohol will not make any pain go away,when you wake up tomorrow your pain will still be there,can you not inform the police about your stalker,stay here and post you know your not alone here

[JackieClaire]

Dreading tonight

hi wanna,
Congratulations on your 3 months and great that you've put a plan in place.
I don't know which country you are in but in the UK they are now beginning to take cyber stalking very seriously. Can you inform the police or are you going to ride this out?
Like mario says keep close to the boards. I'll be popping in and out most of the evening.

J x
:l

[Margaret345]

Dreading tonight

Hearing that you are 3 months AF is a huge inspiration for me! I have just one day under my belt. I hope you can make it through the weekend without a drink. We are here for you.

[K9Lover]

Dreading tonight

Hi Wanna!
I am alone this weekend too. I would love to talk to you in chat tonight if you are feeling bored and lonely....we can get through this.
K9

[Ringing Cedars]

Dreading tonight

Hi Wannachange--My heart goes out to you. Stalking is a criminal offence. My stalker is now caged. If you are not prepared to go to the law at this stage take pictures, record events and all messages for future if you need to change your mind. It will help the police and they usually appreciate that. Staying sober for this purpose and if you need to call the police is a good idea. There is a ton of information on the internet about stalking and staying safe. My Way Out is a also a super resource and supportive community. All the best to you. Please stay safe and sober.

[greeneyes]

Dreading tonight

Hi wanna, maybe you could change your pace a bit and go get a fun movie to watch. Start a new project. Cook something new. Change it up a bit to distract yourself instead of anticipating pain and boredom. Not always easy but worth a try!

[hazeleyes]

Dreading tonight

Love the advice from greeneyes...great idea to focus on the positive instead of anticipating the pain.

Just wanted to add AL does not sooth pain. This is a lie and a trap we can easily fall into. I definately did and it is a big mistake. As Mario said the pain will still be there when the AL has worn off and you are doomed if you keep drinking to stay numb.

You have been free from AL for 3 months - draw on this strenght and the things you learnt to get this far.

You can do it...say this after me "I can do it, I will not drink,I am strong enough, I choose life..."

Thinking of you
H

[KatieB]

Dreading tonight

Hi wannachange,

So sorry about the pain you are going through.. we are here for you whatever you have to have your name to be b/c of some evil person stalking you - they obviously have issues (mentally) to do that..
Please don't drink.. it does not take away pain - it CAUSES pain and will not make anything better - that is an illusion of the addictive powers of AL.. it will just make you more depressed and possibly lead you to doing actions you will regret, plus make you physically ill.. problems are better resolved by being AF.. we are here for you,
Katie xxx

[hillsidetime]

Dreading tonight

Hi Wannachange, great work on the sober streak. Our friends have said it eloquently above, and I echo their thoughts. You are not alone, and I am sorry for your pain. We are here for you no matter what name you use on this site.
Hill

[Liverbirdy]

Dreading tonight

"I can do it, I will not drink,I am strong enough, I choose life..."

yes..........please can you tattoo this onto my arm........I need it..........

[Fibejebe]

Dreading tonight

Liverbirdy. When I started out quitting, friends got me a bracelet engraved with "I don't do that anymore." I have not taken the bracelet off since they gave it to me. If I have a difficult time I twiddle with it and draw strength from the friendship even tho they live about 4,000km away.

Wannachange. I really feel for you. I have chronic pain syndrome secondary to a number of physical illnesses. I used to rationalise my alcohol abuse saying that it reduced the pain. The truth is that the pain was always there but I was too drunk to feel it. And that was only while drinking. The next morning the pain was as bad as it always was. Talk to your doctor about appropriate pain relief. Alcohol is not the answer.

Hugz,
FeeBee