Starting again . . . again

[Little Owl]

Well I guess this is day one again. Thursday 6th May 2010 at 12.40am. I've slipped up big time. And slipped off the steps and banged my head while painting the kitchen. Luckily I'd put the tin of paint down first. Not the first bump on the head I've had while drunk.

[mollyka]

Starting again . . . again

Join the club Little Owl, lets get on with this, my woes are actually paint linked too ............ maybe we should just give up painting! Only joking!
Molly

[Little Owl]

Starting again . . . again

I can't give up the painting until the kitchen has had another coat, then its the bathroom and the bedroom! What have you been painting? What a way to spend my week off! Lets give up the drinking instead.

[CMCEREZA]

Starting again . . . again

Hi Little Owl. Thanks for your honesty. I'm back after approx 6 mos not sharing due to messy divorce issues (which are almost over). But when my head clears I always come back here to people understand. Back on my Campral and hoping to slow down my on my "agains" as well.

Take care....

[JackieClaire]

Starting again . . . again

:welcome: back Little Owl and CMCEREZA,

Everyone here has been round the block a few times. Have you got a plan of action put together? You don't need to make it too complicated, just keep it doable.

ODAT (One Day at a Time)

Molly, good for you on jumping straight back in.

J x
:l

[Little Owl]

Starting again . . . again

I have no plan yet. I'm having trouble getting out of bed or leaving the house at the moment. I spent three days crying. Lots of issues. Then two days painting. Its a big kitchen. I need another week off! My plan saturday was to leave my husband. I'm still not sure. At one point I sat on the floor and screamed. I wonder if I can stay sane if I stay here. I cried at work on friday. If my problems are spreading to my work life things are bad. I've always kept it seperate, its the one place I know what I'm doing. Thank god I had booked this week off.

So my plan for today is to get out of bed. Then have a bath and wash my hair, I feel disgusting. Then one more coat on the walls because its a bit streaky. Then paint the skirting board, dado rail and wall boards in the corner so I can push the fridge back. That will probably take all day.

Tomorow I'm going do drive out into the countryside and spend the day with my cousin in law. She has just sold her mum and dads house and paid off her mortgate and done her own house up, I haven't been over for ages and I can't wait to see it. Then spend the evening with her two girls when they get in from school.

Thats as far ahead as I can think.

There are lots of new people about since I was last here, there are a lot of us out there. Thanks Mollyka and JackieClaire, its nice to see some familiar names. Cmczereza, you were around before I found this place in January I think. I hope things turn out well for you. Yes, people here do understand. Its a good place to come back to.

[mollyka]

Starting again . . . again

Ok Little Owl, you did ask!! Whow, I'm crying here readin your post cos so much sounds like me today.
We decided to do a big job on kitchen,(after disastrous bathroom) and started it about 2 months ago. To say it was stressful is an understatement. The kitchen, builders, no water or cooking facilities for weeks I could have coped with but my husband can be very cranky and the painting was the last straw it went on last weekend. He has cranked around for the last 2 weeks and its not too bad when its just at me but he also picks on my 15 year old son a bit and that goes thro me like a knife. I know my young lads confidence is being eroded and my heart bleeds sometimes. Anyway to cut a long story short up until two days ago I had been alcohol free since 7th Jan and on Tuesday night I drank a heap of vodka - I'm not making excuses, I put the glass to my mouth and now I have to make sure I don't do it again. My husband is now thumping around the house and yes I cried in work today, I cried going to work and I'm crying now. Your sentence 'my plan Saturday was to leave my husband' just echoes in my head - maybe that's what I should do - I don't know. Anyway as I say you did ask!!!!
Little Owl, lets make a wee journey here as kindred spirits? I am on Day 2 and as JC says 'and counting'! Welcome on board
Molly

[K9Lover]

Starting again . . . again

Hi Little Owl,
I can relate to you. I used to wake up in the morning and look around the house just to see what work or projects I had completed the night before. That's not a good feeling. I can also related to bumping my head on several occasions, once so hard that I had to call out for help from my then 10 year old daughter (that was already sleeping) because I thought I was going to pass out. Oh the shame of the blackouts! The good news is that you never have to have another one. I'm glad you're here.
:h
K9

[Panno]

Starting again . . . again

Little Owl nice to meet you, reading your post has made me think about my own life, its so hard when you have relationship issues but the only way to sort the problems out is to keep sober, I am suffering after a 5 day binge, am on day 3 at the moment and looking forward to keeping it that way for a long time hopefully. For me I only realise the problems are there when I'm not drinking or supporting a hangover (obviously why I'm drinking but the penny only just dropping)and I'm trying hard at the moment to work through them. Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow.

[tlrgs]

Starting again . . . again

Little Owl;849436 wrote: I have no plan yet. I'm having trouble getting out of bed or leaving the house at the moment. I spent three days crying. Lots of issues. Then two days painting. Its a big kitchen. I need another week off! My plan saturday was to leave my husband. I'm still not sure. At one point I sat on the floor and screamed. I wonder if I can stay sane if I stay here. I cried at work on friday. If my problems are spreading to my work life things are bad. I've always kept it seperate, its the one place I know what I'm doing. Thank god I had booked this week off.

So my plan for today is to get out of bed. Then have a bath and wash my hair, I feel disgusting. Then one more coat on the walls because its a bit streaky. Then paint the skirting board, dado rail and wall boards in the corner so I can push the fridge back. That will probably take all day.

Tomorow I'm going do drive out into the countryside and spend the day with my cousin in law. She has just sold her mum and dads house and paid off her mortgate and done her own house up, I haven't been over for ages and I can't wait to see it. Then spend the evening with her two girls when they get in from school.

Thats as far ahead as I can think.

There are lots of new people about since I was last here, there are a lot of us out there. Thanks Mollyka and JackieClaire, its nice to see some familiar names. Cmczereza, you were around before I found this place in January I think. I hope things turn out well for you. Yes, people here do understand. Its a good place to come back to.

sounds like a great plan good luck and stay safe .. no more bumps

[Little Owl]

Starting again . . . again

I didn't even last longer than one day.

Mollyka now I'm crying reading about your kitchen! I hope you are doing better than me. I guess this is day one again. The good news is the kitchen is looking good. I, however, resemble the wild woman of Borneo. I am covered in paint and haven't combed my hair for two days. I must get up, get smartened up, and its back to work today.

Why can't I do this? I was drunk again last night and shouted at my husband. I hate myself at the moemnt. I seem to be getting worse not better.

Ok Mollyka, kindred spirits, but I'm a couple of days behind you.

I haven't been on here for a couple of days, I wish I had then maybe I would have stayed sober.

[KatieB]

Starting again . . . again

Little Owl,
Please don't hate yourself.. AL is very addictive, it draws us in with lies and promises that don't happen! AL will not make you happy or cure anything.. as you have discovered.. I did have a chuckle at your comment "wild woman of Borneo" though!.. just keep coming here.. try to distract yourself when you get cravings, and KNOW your triggers.. and maybe come up with a plan on how you can avoid the triggers and know what to do so as to avoid drinking.. all the best to you,
Katie xxx

[mollyka]

Starting again . . . again

Morning Little Owl,
It can seem like a dark place when we're drinking can't it. Thanks to lots of support here I am back on the wagon and intend to stay here - my husband is still being a prick and now that I'm feeling stronger I am going to deal with all that in a few days, it cannot be done when drinking. In my self pitying drunken head last Tuesday I blamed him for all this - he put the glass to my mouth?? - I don't think so. We have to deal with this for ourselves, not them, and then, sober, if they are worth keeping, we can make a rational decision one way or the other.

Lets look at the positives Littleone! We are both sober and we both have lovely kitchens!!! Come on, join me and we REALLY can do this and in the words of someones signature here (can't think who) 'don't let the bastards grind you down'!!
Molly

[Panno]

Starting again . . . again

Mollyka you are so right, you can not sort out relationship issues whilst drunk (unless of course there is violence!) - I have difficulty with my partner but we actually laughed yesterday after everytime we had a bicker at each other, he thinks thats down to me being in a better mood because 1. I'm not drunk and 2. I'm not hungover mmmm maybe there is some wisdom in his words. Have a great day :h

[mollyka]

Starting again . . . again

Too right Panno, ALL the relationship issues I have ARE drink linked (well of course besides the fact he's a miserable bugger!!!)
Molly