Some days the guilt from my past, alcohol related bad decisions and events, hits me really hard. Being sober, perhaps, makes it hurt more. Some days, I just avoid situations where I would have to be creative to dodge why I don't accept a drink (like I have as long as anyone has known me). I just am not ready to go public. This weighs on me some days.
I really like that my personality and confidence are returning to me. I like how my relationship with my wife is slowly improving. I enjoy my children so much more, and I can cherish our moments so much more now that I am sober. I know that I cannot go back to drinking. I don't want a beer...I want 12 beer - I know it in my heart.
I guess I am feeling bitter sweet. Have any of you had confusing times, and moments lacking clarity. Thanks for listening,
Hill
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