Urge to get drunk..

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

I am off to buy AL now.. at 9in the morning.. this pain is too great, i really cannot handle it alone.. i will cancel my son coming back and just going to get drunk instead.. i am hurting too much i feel like i am invisible - i gave birth to an amazing little boy - but all they see is him.. noone gives a shit about me.. im over it.

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Thanks for trying to help.. but i really am in too much internal pain right now..

[papmom3]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie-you get to enjoy your son too!!!! They haven't taken him away from you and they won't. they are borrowing him for the party and he can't wait to get home to you. Please try to focus on the good time you had with him this week and your success in staying AF. If you focus on how unfair your ex and his family are being to you it will grow like a lesion and just fester. To hell with them!! You are a much better person. Don't let them win and don't give in to your evil twin telling you you aren't good enough. Begone evil twin, begone!! :l:h

[JackieClaire]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie,darling,

It's nearly 9am Sunday morning where you are and you're thinking about getting drunk.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you getting your little boy home this afternoon?

Remember HALT. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired.

So apply those brakes now, before that thought becomes a realty.

J x
:l

[NoraC]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie - you are making a big mistake! Please stop and look at what you wrote. STOP & look at what your wrote!
Who thinks you are invisible? Not your son. He loves you so much! He needs his Mommy! Please STOP! Think about HIM not them.

[papmom3]

Urge to get drunk..

Please don't do this to yourself. Pour it down the drain. There are other ways to deal with the pain. Please find them.

[wannachange]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie, I could have been having 6 horrible cans of turburg tonight, auld cheap stuff that rips your gut and gives you a grogging headache, I could have been sitting on the couch watching old home videos, feeling sorry for myself, texting my wife saying how horrid she is, but instead I chose life. You have been in here with us every day for as long as I can remember, you shared your stories and I have shared mine, you supported me and I supported you.
I can tell you this, alcohol will solve nothing, it will make it worse, you might go to the off licence, you might buy the booze but I assure you - you will not drink it because you will come on here before you do and see all these people are right and you will throw it down the drain and you will drink a cup of tea and come in here and tell us thats exactly what you did, because do you know what Katie, there is something more out there, there are people, caring, who love you and care for you and want you to be here for them when they go through the same.

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Thank you all.. I just went to the shops but i managed to pull myself together in time.. you know what stopped me? (i had already logged off here before receiving any of your lovely messages) - seeing the police arresting some ppl in the street - I saw the cops and thought that would be me, if I got drunk in the state I was in..
I ended up buying just cigs (which is better than AL - i am not ready to give them up too right now) and a paper - to read, and then to pack my breakables in for my move..
I thought i better come back here and reassure you all that i didnt buy AL and will try not to get drunk today.. it is so hard though - my ex beat me up so badly i had to have an operation, yet his family carry on with him like it never happened.. i know i have to be there for my son - but at times like that - big family parties for him that i cannot go to - i wonder if he really needs me? a mother with low self-esteem with no family of my own, i cant give him any big parties.. surely he's better off without me? im just going to mess him up being the way i am..

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

wannachange.. that was such a lovely post.. i am in tears right now, as that is exactly what i did.. except its a coffee and not tea! thank you.. x

[papmom3]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie,
You wrote this on 2/22/10 in response to the replies you got to your story:



I am so worried you are going to harm yourself in a way much worse than drinking a bottle of wine. Please let us know you are OK.

[wannachange]

Urge to get drunk..

Excellent Katie. Thank god. I can go to bed now
But think of it like this, you can give him much better parties the way you are now - sober, and he needs you more the way you are now - sober.

Another bright plan by Katie, buys a paper and when finished packs the stuff in the same paper

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

papmom,
That is how I feel most of the time.. but just seeing those photo's on FB (i have since deleted 2 more members of my exes family off my friends list now due to this.. i have deleted them before, but they made me feel so guilty that i added them again.. but i have to think of myself now) tipped me back into being like the "old"me again - the me that is weak, that cannot cope with life.. but no, i am struggling right now, but i am trying to alter my internal thinking as i speak to better myself again..

[Justforme]

Urge to get drunk..

Dear KatieB have just logged on and read what you have been going through the past 24 hours. Well done is not a good enough statement to make, but I want to type something to you quickly. Does your son need you? For god's sake you are the very best thing he has in the world. Would you leave him to struggle along with all the no-hopers that have had him for the past 24 hours. You love him. I know you do. YOu need to protect him from these people that have tried to hurt you so much. YOU BE THERE FOR HIM, WON'T YOU?? Put all that love in to him when he is returned to you. Give him what he deserves.
Happy Mother's Day. You are a wonderful Mum.xx

[techie]

Urge to get drunk..

Sheri thanks so much for your post reply. I know I NEED to keep mindful of that "Junkie Thinking" as it illustrates the corrupt mindset that has caused me relapse in the past. MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

[Meech]

Urge to get drunk..

KatieB

So proud of you for not caving in. You will be so so happy tomorrow when you wake up with no regrets, no hangover and tonnes of energy for when you see you son. Today was tough but it will be all worth it when you wake up tomorrow fresh and full of life!
.:goodjob:

Meech :l