Urge to get drunk..

[papmom3]

Urge to get drunk..

Cross Post Katie!!

Thank God you are OK. Your son needs you because you are his mom and he doesn't know anything about low self esteem so keep it that way. Stop using it as an excuse to drink and start working on getting better self esteem. So many people here think you are so strong and wonderful. Don't you get that? Your ex does all these things to keep you in the pit you keep falling into because then he has power over you. Don't let him push you in again. Of course his family sticks with him-they are his family and they are hearing only his side of the story and I'm sure he's made himself out to be the victim.
I'm so proud of you for not buying the AL and finding other things to do. You did what I couldn't do last nite. Role models are very valuable and since you are one, you must be worth more than you can imagine. Sorry if I sound harsh but you really scared me and I felt so helpless.

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Thank you so much justforme.. it's hard for me to believe at times.. that my son really needs me - me and my darned low self-esteem! i am sick of it, sick of feeling this way.. this has been the biggest test for me this year to date.. bigger than the court cases, as that was more about my ex - and i had anxiety but no depression with them.. but this weekend has been the toughest to date - I HATE FACEBOOK! i really do.. i think FB has peed a lot of ppl off.. some things you just dont want to see/hear/know about.. it just hurts..

[Guest]

Urge to get drunk..

I've been in 'domestic' situations where I'm the victim but the blame was turned around onto me - like he was innocent and I'd been the violent one. All their friends/family believed them.

Tell you what it's taught me a lot and I don't mean in a bitter way. Hold your head high and don't become the person they want you to be.

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

papmom - sorry for scaring you.. i know in light of cowgal that i would not want to cause anyone pain on here.. i managed to pull myself together.. thank you for your help.. ive drank my coffee now about to wash my face so my ex doesnt twig ive been crying, my son is coming back in an hour.. im glad i didnt buy any AL - i know it would have been a terrible outcome if i did.. feeling the way i am.. just seeing those cops was enough to scare me! i really didnt want to go back down that road again.. its been 18 months since i was in hospital due to self-harm.. the longest in my adult life.. mainly thanks to cutting back on AL, MWO, my therapist and my son..

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Ukblonde;851902 wrote: I've been in 'domestic' situations where I'm the victim but the blame was turned around onto me - like he was innocent and I'd been the violent one. All their friends/family believed them.

Tell you what it's taught me a lot and I don't mean in a bitter way. Hold your head high and don't become the person they want you to be.

Looks like we have a bit in common there UK Blonde.. thats exactly what the situation is with my ex and his family.. he is the "victim" - he was "forced" to beat me up (his family blame me b/c apparently my depression turned HIM into a victim - like WTF??)

[Justforme]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie B, you have proved to yourself what a strong person you are with what you have just achieved. You didn't cave in. I may sound cynical here, but I believe that your husband and his family's worst nightmare is you to present yourself as a strong and capable mother. How powerful would that make you feel if you could do that. The amazing thing is that you really can. It is all about choices. That's why I am doing this for myself as well. I have woken up on Mother's Day and my ten year old has given me a beautiful poem about what a lovely mother and person and I am and after 9 days of no alcohol I am starting to believe it. So, YOU GO GIRL!!

[Justforme]

Urge to get drunk..

Someone has mentioned 'toolbox' can anyone direct me there please?

[papmom3]

Urge to get drunk..

Have a great day with your son Katie!! You did good, you really did and now you have one more gorgeous day with your son and you CHOSE this route-you!! I'll say goodnite now and will see you in the morning tomorrow.

[Doggygirl]

Urge to get drunk..

Justforme;851913 wrote: Someone has mentioned 'toolbox' can anyone direct me there please?

Toolbox

Best wishes. Lots of good advice in there. Getting sober is NOT for sissies. Be tough and honest with yourself, and you can do it.

DG

[Ringing Cedars]

Urge to get drunk..

Katie you showed tremendous strength of character and will power through this trial. I'm proud of you. You are blessed to be able to spend Mother's Day with your son! Cherish it . This will be my 7th year without any acknowledgement from my 3 children. For me the drink didn't cause the alienation, the alienation caused the drink. Every birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving and holiday weekend has been a nightmare but drinking only intensified the pain and hurt me more. I did the facebook look up too and it caused a lot of pain. So I had to stop. Just want you to remind you as other's have -- You have your son. And even if you didn't life is still precious and can be very fulfilling. Take the high road with your ex and fight the good fight. In the end you have you and your integrity.

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Thank you all again for you wonderful support.. I was feeling so down this morning.. my ex bought back our son.. and he didnt even guess i had been crying (he's always been unobservant when it comes to me and my feelings - he only cares about himself thats why!) - he actually ended up doing me a bbq for mothers day at a park nearby.. and was hinting throughout that he wanted me back.. NOT going to happen, he has hurt me way too much in the past.. emotionally mainly.. I have had 2 glasses of wine today but thats all.. not drunk and had lots of food and water.. i think i have improved ALOT to not want to be drunk.. I have had a great day with my son, my ex left ages ago.. feeling much better now, thanks to my resolve and everyone helping on here.. xxx

[mollyka]

Urge to get drunk..

Well done KatieB, missed most of all this cos asleep over here but glad you got thro unscathed. I have serious mixed feelings about Facebook. I put it down to an age thing cos all my children think its the bees knees, but your example bears out what I feel. Its too 'free', for want of another word, you can read other peoples thoughts and feelings without actually looking for them - just stumbling on them, its like reading someone elses diary or listening outside doors - just my opinion.
Sorry you were hurt but 'a Mum is a Mum is a Mum' utterly irrepraceable!
Molly

[Panno]

Urge to get drunk..

Happy Mummys day Katie so glad you stayed strong. You can do this :l:l:l:l

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Thanks Molly,
Yes.. I think I will go back to not using FB very much.. though I have deleted ALL my ex's family and friends now, so there is no chance of me stumbling across anything unpleasant.. i only have my own friends, and family now (family - not many! lol).. but I will still be limiting usage.. reading about other peoples lives and the amazing things they are doing can be depressing too.. esp as a single mum just trying my best on my own.. so I will limit myself there.. yep.. managed to get through the most difficult test of the year for me so far.. just..
Katie

[KatieB]

Urge to get drunk..

Cross-post Panno!
Thank you.. and Happy Mother's Day to you too.. though I know the UK one is in March I think..
Katie