Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

[Quit Quitting]

Yup did not make it through day 19. Have been fighting the urge to drink since Sunday and doing fine until yesterday. Someone who has known me all my life (52 years) died yesterday from a brain tumour and that just tipped the scales. Could not get on here as my internet was down. Put that down to our farce of an election and the fact that there was a lot of traffic on the internet.

Sad about the loss and not looking forward to the funeral.

The upside I actually felt myself getting slowly intoxicated. Made a change from waking and not remebering how much I had drunk the night before. Did want to carry but stopped. Felt crap this morning and do not have any urge whatsoever to drink. Was looking to moderate so fingers Xed that I am on my way. Went down the pub with friends and it was wierd to be aware of us all just getting a bit merry and not me getting wasted.

QQ

[Twitch]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

sorry to hear that QQ, happened to me lot's of times but as you say you are nowhere near as bad as you were, so sorry to hear about your loss, it hit's hard and al is the prop we are most used to, you didn't lean on it too heavily, pick yourself up and move on, love and hug's Twitch xxx

[the bellinator]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Sorry about that QQ. Life is so hard sometimes and we all go back to dealing with it in the way we used to. Being sober definitely doesn't mean things are easy. On my 30 days being AF I was grouchy as hell.

I'll be thinking of you as you get back on the right path. Hang in there!

[4MyHealth]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Sorry about your loss QQ. 19 days AF is still a great accomplishment. Hope you get back on track.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

:l QQ :l

[mollyka]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Sorry about your friend QQ, you sound sad but under control - back up here on the wagon, there's a few of us struggling this week
Take care and stay on here, internet permitting!
Molly

[mama bear]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Hugs QQ

[Doggygirl]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Quit Quitting;851543 wrote: Yup did not make it through day 19. Have been fighting the urge to drink since Sunday and doing fine until yesterday. Someone who has known me all my life (52 years) died yesterday from a brain tumour and that just tipped the scales. Could not get on here as my internet was down. Put that down to our farce of an election and the fact that there was a lot of traffic on the internet.

Sad about the loss and not looking forward to the funeral.

The upside I actually felt myself getting slowly intoxicated. Made a change from waking and not remebering how much I had drunk the night before. Did want to carry but stopped. Felt crap this morning and do not have any urge whatsoever to drink. Was looking to moderate so fingers Xed that I am on my way. Went down the pub with friends and it was wierd to be aware of us all just getting a bit merry and not me getting wasted.

QQ

I'm very sorry about the death of your friend. These things are never easy. Did the drinking make anything better? I am sad in my heart because the "I wanted to moderate anyway..." was what got me started on an 8 month relapse from hell. And trust me, the first time drinking I thought I was "fixed" because I got buzzed quickly and stopped after 3 and had a viscious hangover. Then within a short period of time, I was right back where i started. I hope it goes better for you. Have you sought any advice from the long term moderators about deciding to end the AF phase over a tragic circumstance? Not sure if it matters as I can't mod but am just curious.

DG

[girly wirly]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

qq

im so sorry for your loss honey. 19 days was fab though!


thinking of you through this tough time xxx:l

[K9Lover]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

So sorry to hear about your friend. You did great on 19 days. Pick yourselfup and start over. :l

[Winefree]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Loss is difficult. So sad to hear.
You've got a great base behind you. You can start again for sure.

Best wishes,

Winefree

[daybyday]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

QQ, very sorry for your loss.

[KatieB]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Quit Quitting,

I know exactly about how you feel with the awareness aspect.. it wasnt too long ago I was oblivious to the poison I was pouring down my throat, and didnt care for the consequences.. like you, I am now aware of EVERY glass of AL and its effect on me.. luckily this means I dont want to get wasted anymore (for no reason anyway, im still working on other issues) - today I was able to stop at 2 glasses as I did not care for anymore due to this awareness... well done for having no urge to drink this morning, and I am very sorry for the loss of your friend,
Katie xxx

[Panno]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Sorry for your loss QQ - 19 days was great and am sure you will make it longer next time, its so hard dealing with stress, be kind to yourself, take care :l

[Quit Quitting]

Ouch!! Fell off my ladder on day 19.

Thank you all so much for your kinds word and advice.

No AL did not make anything better - guess it is a bit like a waterproof sticking plaster ok for a short period of time.

My comment about wanting to moderate - when said back to me it sounds so negative and like I have given up.

Today is Sunday bounced back, washing on the line, sun is shining and I am starting day 2 AF. Yes I know I can do it and must not get complacement.

Big thanx to you all

QQ xx