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    This is just silly

    I have been trying to keep AF, but when I think about it I wonder why.
    Most people here still have their lives intact, or if not then at least able to see their kids.
    What exactly am I giving it up for? I mean I only have myself to give it up for now and frankly right now I wouldn't give a crap if a meteor comes through the roof.
    I have been on MWO for the last while looking for clues, looking for answers to getting my life back... but in all honesty, that's not going to happen.
    I am labelled as an alcoholic because of a few incidents that happened, my Italian wife who does not agree on any alcohol in any shape or form found my few incidents enough to throw me out of the house and my son's life.
    It's alcohol that caused this alright, but I was simply doing what anyone would do, having a few pints with the lads, drinking a few cans at home when she was out, that became a ritual of course because she disagreed totally on it.
    So who am I fooling? Why should I do this? I can't ruin any more lives because there are no more lives to ruin.
    Surely I need a reason to be AF, some people here have a reason, all I have is myself.
    Bah, sorry just frustrated.

    #2
    This is just silly

    Wannachange - Hang in there!!! Do it for you. I know you are going thru such hard times right now. Hang in there. :l:l
    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
    ..........
    AF - 7-27-15

    Comment


      #3
      This is just silly

      OH Wannachange, I truly get what you're saying. Read my post of last night titled "Blasphemy". I had an evening of wondering why being AF was worth it. I am alone too except for my dogs/cats, brother, sister, dad, nephews and neice. But I am alone every single nite. I am doing this for me. I am the most important person and I am worth going on the journey for. You have got to believe that for you as well. You won't know who you are unless you stop the AL. Yes, it going to take a very long time but it took you a long time to get here. Have you read the thread about other's stories? It's pretty powerful. I don't know much about this journey but I do know this: You won't get your kids and wife back if you go back to drinking. They have to be more important than AL but you have to be more important than anything else. that's your reason for being AF. You deserve your health and to see life through AF eyes. Please stay with us and keep reading/posting.
      :l
      New Birthday: May 8, 2010

      "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

      KO the Beast!!

      Comment


        #4
        This is just silly

        WannaC, We've all felt like that, whether we have direct family or not. You came here cos you knew you had a problem and part of you now maybe wants to tell you that you don't have a problem. Just don't drink today - no more than that - tomorrow see what you're feeling but that's another problem, just today.
        Be strong
        Molly
        Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
        contentedly NF since 8/04/14

        Comment


          #5
          This is just silly

          Thanks lads and lassies.. actually all lassies Its ok I am not going to do anything silly, but it is a questionable debate.
          I mean how many do you have to drink before you are labelled an alcoholic? The judge said I was one based on a one night incident and a few cans that were found in the house that I had from time to time because I was hiding them.
          Do I really have a problem?
          When does one know they have a problem?

          But thanks for the support, I am not at all sure what to do but I will watch a bit of father ted and figure it out after.

          Comment


            #6
            This is just silly

            Ok moment of weakness, I am sorry, back on my feet again thanks to some very special people in the chat room tonight - this place does work!
            Thanks one2many, you are a life saver.

            Comment


              #7
              This is just silly

              check out this thread:
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...hen-23467.html

              It will give you a laugh but you might find some answers as well. Glad you're back on your feet. You gave us a wee scare!!
              New Birthday: May 8, 2010

              "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

              KO the Beast!!

              Comment


                #8
                This is just silly

                Thanks pap, I will tell you how weak I was... just after writing this it was something like 9.40 here, the off licence closes at 10, I drove down to the off licence and bought a 6 pack, came back, sat down, opened a can but did not drink it, asked a few questions then went to the chat room and well... the cans are now down the drain. I have never been happier in a long long time.

                Comment


                  #9
                  This is just silly

                  Good on ya WannaC, well done
                  Molly
                  Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                  contentedly NF since 8/04/14

                  Comment


                    #10
                    This is just silly

                    Oh good for you!! that was brilliant! As long as we refuse to let the AL go past our lips we can stay sober. It had to have been very hard to pour that sixer down the drain after just paying for it but you did good!! Keep up the great work and you will stay happy.:goodjob:
                    New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                    "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                    KO the Beast!!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      This is just silly

                      Way to go!!!! Very happy for you!!!
                      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                      ..........
                      AF - 7-27-15

                      Comment


                        #12
                        This is just silly

                        G'day Wanna,
                        Unsure if you have a problem with alcohol? Don't worry, you have.....;-)
                        But whether you are an alcoholic or not, who cares at the moment. You'll find out soon enough, if you don't know already. Problem with grog or not, you have a problem with having a few beer's and your family. Either way, why not go off the booze for a year? Give it a go, and see where that takes you. I guarantee you it will be a major eye opener. You were very happy tipping that 6 pack down the drain? Well, there's your truth, at least for now.
                        Read the 'Toolbox' here, get a plan mapped out, and go for it!

                        Best wishes.

                        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                        Comment


                          #13
                          This is just silly

                          AWESOME WannaC...I think pouring that beer down the drain answered many of the questions you were struggling with. Way to go, and keep us posted WE are here for each other!
                          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                          Comment


                            #14
                            This is just silly

                            Glad you've come around. I was going to add that I don't have a husband, child or anything like that to be taken from me fullstop. I knew my work/employability was definitely affected but most importantly I lost myself completely. That was bad enough for me not to want to touch a drop again.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              This is just silly

                              Thanks everyone - like many others here I could never have done it without you.
                              You all made some very good points here, UK, tech, Nora, pap and Molly.
                              Good plan Guitariista, I will plan a year.
                              Gosh it is hard starting out, all these emotions and questions just keep coming, one minute I think I have it sorted and the next I am all over the shop, even had a pain in my head from the cravings tonight - not sure if its related.
                              I have been a lot of reading on other sections of the site, I see that some people draw a line between life stuff and AL stuff, but I think one brings on the other, sorting out the problems then we can sort out the AL is not the answer - its the other way around.
                              Thanks again.

                              Comment

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