This is just silly

[Pink Angel]

This is just silly

Hi wanna change, think we spoke in chat once. I am new here and am only on day seven. I got labelled too from a few incidences too. Hey we are all human and some of us choose to admit our weaknesses etc and others dont. Those that dont choose to just focus on our faults and deny there own. (which is totally unjust!).
I have an ex who is currently trying to get custody of my little boys using alcohol and depression against me. I have quit to prove to MYSELF that i can. AND that will then have a positive spin off to my kids etc. It is something you have to quit for YOU and no one else otherwise you just end up resenting the person you quit for. Does that make sense??
Anyway, am thinking of you and hope you are ok. YOU ARE worth it, just remember that. xxoo

[Doggygirl]

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wannachange;851816 wrote: Thanks lads and lassies.. actually all lassies Its ok I am not going to do anything silly, but it is a questionable debate.
I mean how many do you have to drink before you are labelled an alcoholic? The judge said I was one based on a one night incident and a few cans that were found in the house that I had from time to time because I was hiding them.
Do I really have a problem?
When does one know they have a problem?

But thanks for the support, I am not at all sure what to do but I will watch a bit of father ted and figure it out after.

I've often heard that it's not how much we drink or how often we drink that defines the problem, it's what happens WHEN we drink that is a problem.

For me...a few things in your post were problems of mine.

* Hiding the evidence (for me it was bottles, whether empty of full)
* Thinking that bad drinking related "incidents" were OK, so long as they were only occassional. (and believe me, they were less "occassional" than I thought, now that I am sober and can see things in an honest light)
* I lied about my drinking. I would say I had nothing to drink when in fact, I had something to drink. I would like about how much I drank ("only one or two.." when it was 8 or 10...)

If drinking is not a problem, then don't drink for a year. If that is easy, then drinking is probably NOT a problem. If you find it difficult not to drink for an extended period of time, then it's likely it might be a problem.

With AL, life tends to get worse over time - not better. And not the same. So unless you are prepared for life to get worse than it is right now (and trust me - it CAN get worse!) maybe taking a break from drinking would be a good idea.

Just thinking out loud... I too thought my spouse was an awful prude and nag. Turns out he was concerned, and rightly so. But maybe your situation really is different.

DG

[mollyka]

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I agree with you DG. By the time I was willing to agree that there had been a 'few incidents' booze related, there were dozens of times when I thought (probably make that hundreds of times, no more drink lying from me!) I was grand, and I patently was NOT grand, just not falling over.
Yep, all the above, normal folk don't have bottles anywhere but where 'normal' bottles reside, they don't lie about how much or when and sure, if after a year - not having any difficulty purging it from your life - maybe, just maybe like DG says, you don't have a problem!
Good luck and well done on your decisions yesterday, onwards etc!!
Molly:goodjob:

[tylyr]

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This is a question for me too. I don't consider that I drink vast amounts, that is I don't drink spirits at all, and it's usually a bottle of wine most nites of the week, my OH has a glass or a glass and a half. But it's the deceit that worried me. I'm hiding empty bottles, trying to think of ways of dumping them so that no-one knows. Drinking sometimes before going out, so that I can drink 'normally' with others, but usually spoil the evening for myself because I don't enjoy anything I eat and can';t really enjoy the conversation. I'm also concerned that others 'may' be talking about me - does she drink? she was slurring a bit - that kind of thing. I've stopped in the past for quite long spells - 10 weeks the most, but don't carry on.
I'm on day 5 now, missing a glass of wine, but I can't say suffering. I'd like to get to a point where I don't think about it, and don't miss it. How long does that take.
Thanks to everyone here. Tylyr

[Guest]

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One problem is that people only see alcoholics as those who drink certain things - cheap ciders, spirits etc when there are a lot of wine drinkers out there in trouble. It can also be that you simply haven't gotten that far YET.

[tylyr]

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You are so right UKBlonde. I'm drinking over the accepted amount for the UK - I know that, even though it's wine and nothing else. But the point is that years ago I drank nothing, and was fine with it. Somewhere along the line the boundary between social drinking and another kind of drinking was breached. Now, I fancy a few glasses of wine most days, and could drink most day - possibly every day - I don't know.

I want to get to the point where I'm not thinking about alchohol all the time. I find that I'm tired of it. I hope to get there, but how long does it take?

[wannachange]

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Last night was the turning point for me, some call it a click some call it a penny drop, here are the two images I want to keep and share with everyone cause if I can do it anyone can - believe me when I say this.
Thanks to MWO for getting me this far.

In the chatroom, I was so frustrated I stopped the lovely conversation they were having and spoke about me, me, me, saying I was not an alcoholic, I don't have a problem.. blah blah blah unitl one2many came up with enough reason for me to throw them away.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

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A lightbulb moment Wanna?
Well done.

[dizilizid]

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Hi wannaC. I've just had a hectic moment. Right now, i had an arguement with my wife. I grabbed my keys and jumped into the car. I was goin straight to the pub. It's Sunday.(Bottle stores are all closed) and while i was drivin i was thinkin, and eventually i drove past, went down the next road and came back to the house. Everyone's so proud of me. But most importantly, i am proud of me. I was so angry, i was shaking, my heart was pounding and felt like it was about to explode. But somehow i managed to think clearly for a second. So good on you for having that moment of clarity. If it wasn't for this site and all of you, i don't think this would've turned out the same. Thanks man. Remember, you gave me reason why i should stop you helped me. I hope i can help you too. Be strong. We can do this man. I believe.

[Guest]

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I kept within Uk limits for many years but I was drinking dangerously as those 14 or 21 (yes they changed their minds about limits for women a few times) units were mostly in one night, and enough to cause me trouble with blackouts, throwing up etc.

When it rose to 60 units (and I mean units not 'drinks') per week I just thought it quite normal as it still wasn't at home, just out in pubs and nightclubs and only 3 or 4 nights a week still.

I still think about AL daily but I know I don't have to drink, that I can get through the day without it. It's only about 40 minutes the average craving lasts for afterall.

[one2many]

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Awwhh Wanna, that pic speaks volumes....be very very proud of yourself xx

[one2many]

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Ps..Tuborg gives you some bang in the head in the mornings! Glad you woke up feeling good xx

[tylyr]

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Uk blonde - I'm not really sure how many units per week I was drinking, but close to 14 units in one go surely, as wines are so strong now. I know that I'm vulnerable to 'Oh well, I haven't had a drink for ...so long, and I'm be fine' so I have to watch that one. I have a difficult situation next friday evening, but at the moment I feel strong.
Wanna change - well done, I can't actually read the transcript unfortunately, it's blurred here. but well done anyway. I'll be away and unable to log in until Tuesday eve, now, but keep up the good work, and thanks UKBLonde

[NoraC]

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Wanna - GREAT JOB!!!!

Dizi - GREAT JOB!!!!!!