First (and long) post

[Guest]

First (and long) post

The demons come out at night, mostly. The drink puts them to sleep, mostly. The rest of the time they are there in the background. I had a similar experience finding my mother dead. It was a shock and took some getting over. For you it would be much worse because it is in the natural order that the oldest go first. You will need some back-up for a while and the doctor will help. Ultimately it will be a matter of acceptance...easy to say but hard to do. I found some comfort in reading the Zen teachings.
We are all part of the World, we are not alone. You are not alone...and my thoughts are with you.

[redredwine]

First (and long) post

I have been away for over three years. My drinking eventually came to 2-3 bottles or red wine every night. I had a blinding flash of the obvious and suddenly realised I was killing myself. SO I quit, just like that!

I have been drinking juice for the past two weeks and haven't missed the alcohol at all. I miss the food though! All the booze made me put on a lot of weight, so I have been juicing fruit and vegetables ` like Joe out of 'Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead'.

[Lavande]

First (and long) post

Welcome back to MWO, great to hear your news regardless of how long it took you to get back.
Two weeks AF is wonderful, congrats

Please stick around & let us know how you are doing.
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[redredwine]

First (and long) post

Thanks for the welcome back. The reason I was away is simple. I was enjoying my wine!

Of course I can blame events, after so many family deaths and when my son died - my world collapsed, see first and long post. Then my surviving son went off the rails, eventually getting arrested and imprisoned for 6 months. This was a major stressor, but ultimately just an excuse to continue drinking alcohol. I became fat, depressed and occasionally suicidal.

I am not sure what it was that made me realise that I was committing slow suicide by drinking myself to death. Well I knew I was, but didnt give a damm about it. One day I woke up and discovered that I did.

[3June2013]

First (and long) post

Redredwine nice to see you feeling better, you've been through a lot and it's understandable you'd want to numb yourself for a while. Good to see the light bulb moment came and you're back on track!

[Sixcat11]

First (and long) post

I'm new here so don't have much sage advice to give..but I too have lost family to suicide(thankfully not a child) and there is no sorrow like it. It's so terrible for the family and just seems to never end...you must have so much inner strength to have come thru it in one piece...and now AF for two weeks! Happy for you to say the least!!

[YouKayBee]

First (and long) post

Good to see you back and sober.

[redredwine]

First (and long) post

The light bulb moment... I suppose it must come to everyone eventually?

[MossRose]

First (and long) post

Hi redredwine. I am rather new here, so missed your original post. But, I am so glad you came back. I read your story, and it is heartbreaking. You went through terrible losses -in a very short amount of time- so your lapse is understandable. But I am so glad you have had the "light bulb" moment.

I'm a juicer too. Loved "Fat, sick and nearly dead." Although he was dealing with an illness, I related because of my excessive drinking. I was definitely nearly dead. So thought I would give it a try. I just posted in the Holistic Healing area about juicing every morning. It definitely helps me.

Anyway, glad you decided to join us again. You sound very determined. So hang in there, and post often.