Bad Day

[sk8punk]

Hey everyone. First the good news 32 days AF!! Now for the bad. My girlfriend has decided she doesn't want to work things out. I do still get to see my baby boy though. Unfortunatly my depression is really kicking in. I don't want a drink. That's the last thing I need. My sobrity is very important to me now. I have to be the best dad I can for my son. I just feel so down and alone. My girlfriend was my best friend. I don't have any other friends around here. Don't worry I'm not suicidal at all just very down.

[KatieB]

Bad Day

Hi sk8punk,
First of all congrats on your 32 days AF - that's fantastic!
But I am so sorry to hear about your girlfriend.. but at least you do get to spend time with your son.. I went through a separation last year (I was only married for a year), and we have a son too.. it is really hard at first, but it does get easier (a cliche I know!).. I am very pleased to hear you don't feel like drinking.. thats fantastic! You know you want to be the best dad for your son too.. which shows alot of strength and insight.. All i can say is focus on your little one, and yourself.. thats what got me through.. I was AF for 10 weeks after the separation, it really does help to have a clear-head to think things through.. though it may seem terrible right now, you have to take the good out of the situation.. surely its better to not be with someone that does not want to be with you? that way, you are free to find someone that does love you and want to be with you.. though being single can be fun too.. I can recommend joining some clubs, and get a social life happening so you do not end up isolated.. I wish you the best in your journey,
Katie xx

[NoraC]

Bad Day

I'm really sorry to hear that about your girlfriend. Thank goodness you still have your baby boy. That is wonderful that you are 32 days AF!! You are showing your son what is important in life already.
I'm sorry for your sadness right now. Please come here and talk. We are here for you.

[sk8punk]

Bad Day

Thanks for the kind words Katie and Nora. It is hard to feel alone. It seems like I have to start my whole life over again. Which I guess could be a good thing. I just don't know how to go about meeting new people without alcohol. It always helped me loosen up. I'm not looking for another relationship anytime soon. Its just something I'm stressing out about. It just feels so lonely nad hopeless right now.
I know I'm becoming a better person. Part of me just wishes my girlfriend would have given me a chance to see that. Can't change the past though. I just got to focus on the good of each day.

[KatieB]

Bad Day

sk8punk;853538 wrote: Thanks for the kind words Katie and Nora. It is hard to feel alone. It seems like I have to start my whole life over again. Which I guess could be a good thing. I just don't know how to go about meeting new people without alcohol. It always helped me loosen up. I'm not looking for another relationship anytime soon. Its just something I'm stressing out about. It just feels so lonely nad hopeless right now.
I know I'm becoming a better person. Part of me just wishes my girlfriend would have given me a chance to see that. Can't change the past though. I just got to focus on the good of each day.

Sk8punk,
I know exactly how you feel.. I am in a country where I was not born, and I only knew how to speak to ppl with AL in my system too.. however, I have come a long way since last year, I now go to a playgroup with my son run by a local church, though I am not particularly religious - churches often do some social gatherings where you can meet ppl.. You do just have to focus on yourself, there are lots of things and ways you can meet ppl AF - just have a look around, and see what is out there! Your local library or the internet should be able to help you too - think of what you like and what you enjoy (hobbies that is..) and we are here too,
Katie x

[daybyday]

Bad Day

sk8Punk, great on you for the 32 days AF. That is such a huge achievement to having a fabulous new life. ....you will get past the sadness although I know it is very hard right now. You sound like you will be busy with your son and that will be a great focus for you. Lots of support here for you too!

[dancingon]

Bad Day

Sk8punk, I'm so impressed that you don't want to drink. I'm trying to get my head around that kind of stamina. Keep in mind that it is the LAST thing you need.
It's great that you still get to see your boy.
What was the name of that site Anotherday found where you could find out what social events/ clubs/ sports are on in your area? Anyone remember? Joining or learning something new seems like a good idea for a new start. There may even be some non-Al social groups, although they may be religious, and I don't know if that's your thing.
Meanwhile, be healthy, get fit, eat well and be a great dad. You're right that you are starting again and love will more than likely come your way again, but right now concentrate on getting to know your new self AF.

[mollyka]

Bad Day

Sk8, sometimes things are just meant to happen. My Dad gave me a piece of advice once when I was a lot younger. A boy had broken my heart and I was moping around the place and Dad just said 'would you want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with you'? It was a very simple sentiment but I've carried that through with me all my life, unless people really want to be with me, thats it.
I know its harder when there is a child but it sounds like that is ok which is brilliant.
Well done on the booze front you certainly seem to have your head in the right place for that anyway!
Molly

[hillsidetime]

Bad Day

Hi Bad Day, I am sorry that your girlfriend does not want to work things out. It is a double wammy for sure, your girlfriend and your best friend. The fact that you did not start drinking, is a great sign - hang in there. For me, when I am af, it gives my confidence and helps me feel better. I think that you know that drinking, usually for most of us, can fuel our depression. I hope that you get to see your boy as much as possible. I can tell you from experience, it is so much better enjoying kids when you are sober. All the best,
Hill

[FallonsMom]

Bad Day

Give it some more time I'm sure she will come around when she see how great you are doing

[sk8punk]

Bad Day

Thanks for all the support!!! Today went a lot better. I am still broken hearted. You just don't stop loving someone. I feel as though I'm becoming a better person through my sobriety and counsling for my depression/self esteem issues. Its just a shame she won't get to see that and only remember me for the monster I became because of the depression/alcohol.
I do miss my son but it makes the time I have with him that much better.

[KatieB]

Bad Day

sk8punk;854520 wrote: Thanks for all the support!!! Today went a lot better. I am still broken hearted. You just don't stop loving someone. I feel as though I'm becoming a better person through my sobriety and counsling for my depression/self esteem issues. Its just a shame she won't get to see that and only remember me for the monster I became because of the depression/alcohol.
I do miss my son but it makes the time I have with him that much better.

Hi Sk8punk.. You are right in that quality is definately better than quantity.. you can devote every second with your son now you don't see him as much.. I find I am the same with mine, as when he's with his dad, i miss him so much - but when i get him back i devote myself to him and enjoy our time so much more!
It will be hard to deal with your broken heart, but you will become a stronger person as a result.. you will find love again, and be appreciated again.. but getting yourself well is the best gift you can give yourself.. that is what I am doing too - learning about myself, so when i do have the opportunity to love again, I will be healthy and be able to give the relationship the best of me..
Katie xxx

[sk8punk]

Bad Day

Hi Katie. You're right about everything in your post. One of the greatest yet weirdiest part of getting sober and counsuling is really conecting with ones self again. Its like meeting a old friend again. Like they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.