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    #1

    The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

    Hello I joined today. Waiting for a return phone call from AA but now at the chickening-out stage. The thought of giving it up completely looks impossible right now; perhaps a good first step could be to stop drinking alone. This is what causes the most trouble: sneaking a few drinks alone before going out with friends (to make up for their tolerance being lower than mine), continuing to drink when my drinking buddy has gone to bed, getting some bottles in to relieve boredom/loneliness, drinking to make me feel normal and alive when my mood is numb/catatonic... perhaps this might sound familiar?... :new:
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    #2
    The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

    Hi there BS!
    Welcome to MWO.
    I think most of us can relate to your story as to our reasons for drinking. In fact nearly every emotion from happy to sad used to do it for me!
    Have a look round the site, there is loads of inspiration and support here.
    You can do this, its not always easy but its soooooo very worthwhile.
    Good to see you and love your name :-)
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #3
      The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

      Bingerspice, of course it looks and feels impossible right now,Thats excactly what alcohol does to your mind,it tells you you cant live a life without it,But believe me you will only start living when you stop drinking,put a plan into place,set some goals for yourself,go for a walk clear your mind from the negative thoughts,write your plan down and act on it now.


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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        #4
        The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

        Hey Bingerspice Welcome, That was my first reaction also What i can never drink again. Startingover,and Mario give you great advice! I no for myself i was NOT living life to the fullest when i was drunk I only thought i was! AL will try to make you and convince you that you can't live with out it ,It's a lie! Best Of Luck... Be Good To Yourself! Trucker123

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          #5
          The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

          Hi Bingerspice :welcome: I too feel like that sometimes even at this moment when I'm 8 days AF but it is really one day at a time and each one gets better the longer you are sober, good luck on your journey
          Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

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            #6
            The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

            Hello BingerSpice Spend some time today surfing through different threads on this site. There is loads of information and support. But I think you will also find how similar other peoples situation is to yours, this may give you the confidence to give up for one day, and then maybe two. It's a process. Glad you are here!
            While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.
            Benjamin Franklin

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              #7
              The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

              Hello Binger Spice... I know exactly how you feel. I am new here also. I went 9 days without my Zin and really thought I was making progress.... you know the rest of the story. We have to stay connected to one another to try to battle this demon.

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                #8
                The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                Hi Binger and welcome, I was where you are at for over 20 years then I came on hear and found a medication called baclofen ! its changed my life have alook at the threads and informationon it ! some of us who are taking it are doing our best to spread the word, you dont have to do it alone we all have our own path and for me and many others its meds ! Keep an open mind look around the site and hopefully you will find something that works for you ! good luck my friend BH x

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                  #9
                  The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                  hi bs- love that name btw!

                  welcome to the site. i am on day 12 and the thought of no alcohol ever again is very dull, bleak and scary. so i'm taking it one day at a time. i only have to be sober today. i'll deal with tomorrow and the day after that when i get there. xxx

                  that's what i've done since day one, each time covincing myself i'd never last the following day, but each day i wake up sober, with a clear head, it inspires me to abstain another day. slowly slowly catchy monkey.

                  give day one a go! good luck xx
                  The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                    Hi Binger

                    You think life with AL is scary and dull?How's your life with AL?For me life was infinitely more scary with AL than without and that was my turning point.

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                      #11
                      The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                      Ukblonde;859868 wrote: Hi Binger

                      You think life with AL is scary and dull?How's your life with AL?For me life was infinitely more scary with AL than without and that was my turning point.
                      very true uk blonde

                      trouble is i have spent so much of my life socialising or relaxing with al that it's what i associate some really good times with. it's the thought of not being able to have a bottle of wine and a laugh with my girlies. or share a glass with my husband over a nice meal that bothers me, yet i know it has to be.

                      but then some of the most horrific, scary times of my life have been caused by al.

                      i definately want rid, but think i will always remember the good times too. thing is, i black out every time i drink now and have put myself in real dangerous situations. which means i can no longer drink moderately and need to seek new, natural highs without the demon drink. but i do think i will always miss those good times, hopefully not enough to throw away my absinence x
                      The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

                      Comment

                        #12
                        The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                        Ukblonde;859868 wrote: Hi Binger

                        You think life with AL is scary and dull?How's your life with AL?For me life was infinitely more scary with AL than without and that was my turning point.
                        That's exactly it, UK. If I'd carried on the way I was going I dread to think where I'd be today.

                        It's a whole new life I've entered, I am no longer dead inside.

                        Spam, being AF is the bees knees and I am grateful for every single minute of it.

                        J x
                        :l
                        It could be worse, I could be filing.
                        AF since 7/7/2009

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                          #13
                          The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                          Thankyou everyone, what a response!
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                            #14
                            The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                            Welcome BS!
                            I just wanted to welcome you and see how you're doing. I'm glad to meet you, and hope to get to know you on your AF journey!
                            K9
                            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              The thought of abstinence: bleak, dull and scary?

                              :welcome:Great name! You've come to a really good place to help answer the questions you have. Minute by minute and day by day....that is the best way, try not to worry about the long term right now. Look forward to hearing more from you.
                              AF since April 19, 2010
                              NF since Nov 10, 2000

                              "One reason I don't drink is I want to know when I'm having a good time."
                              -Lady Nancy Astor

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