Falling Apart

[techie]

Falling Apart

Perfect sk8!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Techie. Hope everything has been going good for you.

Woke up feeling a little better than yesterday. I'm going to try to hold on to that. Just focusing on the now today. I'll talk to you all later.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8,

Sorry to hear you did not have a good Sunday either. I had a pretty emotional one as well. A person from my past, wayy past, ran into me with his new girlfriend. Unbelievable. I live in a huge area and I run into a person who has caused me so many emotions over the years. It was a very difficult moment for me. Me and this person from my past went through so much shit together good and bad. Very very emotional to see them together. Long story, but my Sunday was an emotional wreck then filled with nightmares about the two of them. I suppose we will always have people in our pasts we cannot forget completely.

Anyways... How you doing today?? LOL! And a necklace sounds great! Trust me, it will mean something to her. It will. Sorry to talk about me so much today, just still dealing with the shock of yesterday.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

No problem Over. Feel free to talk about you. I know that feeling your talking about all to well from my past. It is a awful feeling. I would do the same as you did for the rest of the day.
The few times I've seen my girlfriend since this happened sent me into anxity/panic mode. Strange how people can effect us.
So far today I'm alright. We'll see. Talk to you later

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8, Really hope you are having a positive outlook on today. Like the Nike ads says "Just do it"

Unfortunately we deal with people in our pasts from time to time. I wish there was a switch to just shut it off really. Your girlfriend will always be in your life if you share your son. I hope for the two of you's sake you come to a comfortable agreement very soon, for both of your peace of minds and for your son too.

I think the hardest part of seeing them two together (I had never seen them together before) was knowing just how freaking HAPPY the two of them are now that they have found each other. Pisses me off, LOL. Me and this guy have one Hell of a past together. Many good times too, but one too many bad times was the one that cost us everything.

So there they were. The two of them so in love sitting in the sun holding hands. Sooo freaking happy together. Made me want to throw up!!!

Catch ya later buddy,

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I know Over. I hope. That both of us find that happiness again one day. That is great feeling isn't it. I also hope me and my girlfriend come to some point. It is still very hard for me. I still love her. I always felt she was the "one". I think I love her more now than before. Something in me just won't let that go. God knows I've tried. If you ever find that switch let me know.
This journey to find myself is hard but I'm enjoying it. I know can see who I am and understand my emotions. Yes some still cause me pain. Someday, some how I believe she will see who I'm becoming.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

She will definately see the good man that you became. Yes, you made some mistakes, but one day she will take notice that you were one of the rare people who made some giant steps to be a better person and father. Not everyone changes like this! You are one of the lucky ones believe it.

One time I read something that was very uplifting and positive. It made my day really.

It was in reference to why recovering alcoholics like to refer to themselves as "grateful" recovering alcoholics. It actually said that recovering alcoholics have an edge over "normal" people in life. Basically because they have went through Hell and emerged stronger on the other side of their addiction, so they are able to appreciate more because of it. It almost implied that people who recover from their addictions are some of the luckiest people in life, not just because they are alive, but really "alive" in terms of the way they have an outlook on life.

Thats the way I want to be, dont you? We go through the Hell, but when we make it out, life is just so much sweeter. It will be one day for both of us, I know it. I hope that makes sense?

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

It makes complete sense. I do know I'm one of the lucky ones in the aspect of my addiction. I do feel I've been given another chance at life. I'm not going to waste it.
I know I've been through hell (we all have here). Somedays it feels like I still have one foot stuck there. I'm getting strong enough to eventually pull it out.
The hardest thing is how I feel towards her still and not knowing how she feels. I feel she still cares since she never has told me off. I think she's so quite because she does care but is confused.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Im pretty sure she still loves you. I dont always give the best advice, but perhaps in the near future you can try to talk it over with her again. Perhaps after you give her the birthday present.

She does owe you some answers I do believe. Not to push her, but she has to be accountable for her feelings for you sooner or later. Its not fair to leave you hanging forever.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Its like we talked about a few days ago. She doesn't really have the time to think about this now. I think that's how she wants it. Like she told me when I talked to her "I just can't deal with this now". I know she's going through as much as me. I'm just working on it a lot more because I need to.
You're right I do think I deserve some answers. My counsler feels she is being abusive to me by doing this. Not sure I would go that far. But I know what she means

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Got my mind on other things today. Completly forgot today is 60 days sober for me. Wow. Feels like I've come along way but somehow at the same point.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

WOO HOO!!!!! Yah Sk8!!!! You are doing so awesome!! Congratulations! Keep rockin on!! Good things ahead for you friend.
REally like your photo idea. That will be the best gift!!!
Busy lining all my ducks up to get out of dodge for a couple of days. Keep the slack tight as my good sailor friend always tells me.:l

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks RC, hope you have a great trip. I'll admit I'm a little jealous. I do hope good things are ahead for me.

Well today was a mixed one for me. While I'm very excited and happy with myself for the 60 days alcohol free. My realtionship issues continue to hold me down.
Somedays I seem to handle it better than others. I'm basically heartbroken/hopeful at the same time since everything is in limbo. Guess I havn't been able to get my brain to wrap around the situation yet.

[patrice]

Falling Apart

Well done to you SK8!!! You must be a strong character to be dealing with relationship problems and giving up the booze. I have made my relationship problems a reason for continuing drinking... even though the drinking was one of the reasons the relationship disintegrated...mmm makes me feel a bit stupid to realize that. But I'm on Day 1

[patrice]

Falling Apart

Oh ringing cedars just realised we have the same pic.. not sure how i got that one or even how to change it!!