Falling Apart

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8!
Congratulations on your alcohol free time, and good job on posting. Sorry you're having such a difficult time, it is very hard to remain AF when we run into so many obstacles. Just stay focused on the important things, like your beautiful little boy. It will get easier, and you definitely have lots of support on here.
I hope you have a great day...
K9

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks for all the support. Had another rough day. Its hard to deal with the fact that my drinking and actions have changed so many peoples lives. I cry for myself, our son, her, and her kids. even though I don't know how she feels I know this can't be easy for her either. I'm not the only one who has lost someone they love and care about. She has too. I've begun to realize how selfish alcoholism (or any addiction) really is. We become so consumed with ourselves and drinking that we don't really see what its doing to the people around us. I hope noticing this is the next huge step in my sobriety
The only real positive out of all of this is I haven't even thought about drinking. Alcohol has already damaged me and everyone I care about enough.
I am really trying to change. I feel that I really am becoming a better person. As Yoda said "there is no try, only do".

[daybyday]

Falling Apart

Sk8punk, you are really sharing some great insight on here to help us all. Good for you keeping so positive and learning from all this. :l

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Day. Don't know about being positive, but I am learning from this. I really hope all of this does help others.

[Stargazerlily]

Falling Apart

Sending positive thoughts your way. You are right, addiction hurts everyone in its path. It takes time for family and friends to trust your sober time. They have been so hurt and lost faith. Be patient, you are on a good path and doing this for all the right reasons: love for yourself and others. You are way ahead of the game as you have realized that right relationships are the most important thing in our lives. When I read your posts the word that occurs to me is wisdom.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8, Hope you are doing good today Im no shrink, but Im pretty sure what you are going through is a healing process. Your staying sober which is the main focus. Im sure as the booze goes away, it only makes sense the emotions would come out, and therefore growth and healing would stem from that. I know its rough, but you will get there. You look so young too. Early 20's? You have so much life ahead of you. Just keep hanging in there. We are glad you found this place, use it for whatever you need, We sure the heck do! :l

One more thing, it sounds like you really really hate alcohol now, due to what its done to your family and life. That is so GOOD to hate it and not want to return. So many of us on here keep going back and back. Be one of the ones that kicks it out of your life for good! We are really inspired by you, Yes YOU.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Overit your way to kind. I'll be 37 next month.
So far today isn't to bad. But things always seem to change. Ill check in later with more details

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Today wasn't to bad. I sent my ex a email last night. some of which I rewrote for my post last night. Even though I didn't get a response it felt very cathartic (is that spelt right?). It felt like the right thing to do. I do feel that I am moving away from that night and going forward. I'm concentrating on getting myself together. You're all right. I just need to give it time and things will fall into place.
Overit I do hate alcohol. It has damaged my life enough. Your right this is one time where hate may actually be a good feeling. Its going to keep me away from drinking.

[Rusty]

Falling Apart

Skate,

When I see your son's face, I just think I wanna kiss that little sweetheart. Like Mama Bear says in her quote, I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE THAN ALCOHOL. By damn, she is right. My family confronted me about my drinking in October, 2008, and I came back to MWO...and things have been on the upswing ever since.

Congratulations on all your AF days! We are all proud of you

Sending you good thoughts,

Rusty

[techie]

Falling Apart

sk8punk my heart goes out to you as we are brethren dealing with similar issues. Keep up the good work directed toward your sobriety. Man, forty months. I far from that, but will let you know when I get there. Keep in touch..techie

[daybyday]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8, just wanted to say hi and hope you are having a good day. Big hug to you and remember to be kind and patient to yourself.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Techie and Day. I'm hanging in there. I do wish I could sometimes switch my brain off. As my brain is recovering from drinking I've noticed little things trigger memories. So something must be starting to work right up there.

I go to the doctor in the morning to see if I need to be on antidepressents. Then I have counsuling in the afternoon. I usually feel good after my session,

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Big hug sent out to you :l Your 37??? I cant believe it. Wow, you dont look it!

Let us know how the doctors appointment goes ok?

[daybyday]

Falling Apart

A dr. appt and counselling will be good for you tomorrow. Hope it helps in your journey.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Went to the doctors today. She put me on 20mg of Paxil to start. I'm waiting for it to be filled now. Hope this works cause I'm having a awful day. Being out and seeing all the families and kids just really drags me down. Makes me realize everything I may have lost. Thank god I have counsuling later. I'll check in later.
OverIt looking young is one aspect of my life I've been lucky in. Until recently I always felt very young as well. Now it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I'm about to go under