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    #496
    Falling Apart

    Good morning RC. Forum was down so I didn't post my usual morning post. Feel good today. 70 days sober. Feel positive and the past is now behind me. I'm looking forward to this new year. I seem more focused on what I need to do and work on. Got counsuling today too.
    Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

    Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
    No more bad future-Skull Skates

    Comment

      #497
      Falling Apart

      Congrats on 70 days sober! Amazing how the time really starts flying especially when so much other growth (not just "time") is happening.

      I'm really glad to hear that you have decided to shift your focus (for now) away from the romantic relationship that you believe you want to rekindle. I have often heard it said that it is wise to steer away from making changes (starting one or ending one) to existing romantic / marital relationships for a year of sobriety. This is just because we DO tend to change and grow and go through emotional ups and downs. Just not the best time to be making Big Decisions that are high impact on our own or other lives. (of course this suggestion goes out the window if personal safety or sobriety are at risk in an existing relationship)

      So...I think you have come to a good conclusion to focus on your own growth and your relationship with your son for now. And a relationship with your son's mother that will be lasting and good for the benefit of your son. Who knows....with all this changing and growing YOU are doing, you may find with more time that you don't even want what you thought you wanted yesterday.

      Enjoy father's day!

      DG

      PS- I used to thing the "old timers" (long term sober people) were full of shit but more and more I'm finding they know what they are talking about from experience! And lots of it!
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

      One day at a time.

      Comment

        #498
        Falling Apart

        Happy Birthday, Sk8!

        If it's any comfort, you have been a wonderful, contributing force to this site. Enjoy your birthday and Father's Day. Your little boy is lucky to have you as a dad!

        Rusty

        Comment

          #499
          Falling Apart

          Thanks Rusty and Doggygirl. The shift in thinking is good. Focusing on the romantic relationship is a dead end right now. I can't progress if I stay on that road. Focusing on the relationship with my son and his mom will only show them I'm changing. Like I said before once that relationship is established and stable anything is possible. But like Doggy said I may be in a different place then. Only time will tell.
          Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

          Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
          No more bad future-Skull Skates

          Comment

            #500
            Falling Apart

            You're doing awesome SK8, I like the way you're thinking these days...it shows how much progress you're making. Super fantastic job on 70 days!!! Starts going by pretty fast, doesn't it?? I don't know about you, but I kinda quit counting somewhere around 60, although I still update my signature every day. How are you doing in the evenings and on weekends? I know those were hard for you for a while there (as they were for me too). Seems like you are making amazing progress. I've recently begun to focus all my energy into the gym, I have a friend who's a personal trainer, and he's got me on this crazy 16 week program...it's great to have something to focus on.
            Anyway, hope you're well and have a great Fathers Day!!
            Keep hanging in there, you're doing AWESOME!
            K9
            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

            Comment

              #501
              Falling Apart

              Hey K9 thanks! Yeah it does fast. Seems like after 30 days it goes a lot faster. I stopped counting after 60 days too. I got 60 and 90 marked on my calander at work. So every once in awhile I check to see where I am. Evenings are no problem for me. Fridays and Sundays seem to be my worst days. But they are even getting better.
              The gym sounds great. I worked out a lot at first but have kinda slacked off lately. Still do yoga eveyday though. Hope ypu have a great day!
              Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

              Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
              No more bad future-Skull Skates

              Comment

                #502
                Falling Apart

                Well waiting to see my counsler. Always wander what we are going to talk about. She always manages to pull something out of me though. Still feeling good today. Hope everyone else is too. Oh ans Wanna if you see this good luck with your meeting tomorrow. Still got my fingers crossed for you buddy!
                Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                No more bad future-Skull Skates

                Comment

                  #503
                  Falling Apart

                  That's a good way to put it. "Pull something out of me". We hold so much inside we forget what it is we are hanging onto sometimes but still have auto pilot reactions because of it. Have a good session Sk8. )

                  Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                  St. Francis of Assisi

                  Comment

                    #504
                    Falling Apart

                    The session went good. Always does it seems. She agreed with my new attitude and approach to my girlfriend. It's better for everyone involved. Plus it also lets me continue to grow since I'm not stuck in a rut.
                    She also said I need to start taking credit for what I've accomplished. I've never been good at taking compliments. She said when it comes down to it all that has happened is because of me. She said she's seen people in similar situations to mine who also hit rock bottom but remained there for months for making any progress.
                    It is nice to hear but I do get embarrased. I'm only doing what I thought anyone in my situation would do. I always feel like there's gotta be something I'm missing still.
                    Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                    Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                    No more bad future-Skull Skates

                    Comment

                      #505
                      Falling Apart

                      I think most of us feel that way Sk8...if we didn't feel we were missing something--what would be the point of trying?? That's why I love this site--people don't stop moving forward. Complacency is not the place to be. Thanks for keeping your journey/journal alive!

                      Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                      St. Francis of Assisi

                      Comment

                        #506
                        Falling Apart

                        Good point RC. I'm going to keep going forward. Well to be honest I plan on only ever going through this once so I better keep a record of it!
                        Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                        Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                        No more bad future-Skull Skates

                        Comment

                          #507
                          Falling Apart

                          You are Acing it in my books Sk8! Keep journalling and posting. It seems to agree with you tremendously. I am so pleased for your progress....will we ever get there? Where is there? It is the journey, right?

                          Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                          St. Francis of Assisi

                          Comment

                            #508
                            Falling Apart

                            Thanks RC, don't know about acing it but I am doing the best I can do. I said long ago when I started this I was going to be completly honest. No more hiding from my problems and thats what I've done. I think it helps to get things out of my system even if it is in the cyber world.
                            Will we ever get there? I don't think there is a there. It's life, everyday is a new experience. Plus like you said earlier, if there is a there, what are we going to do once we get there? Not knowing whats next is what keeps us going forward. Plus I think I went over my limit for the use of the word "there" today.LOL.
                            Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                            Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                            No more bad future-Skull Skates

                            Comment

                              #509
                              Falling Apart

                              Ha! you are allowed to do anything you want....that is free will...."there" is no limit until we give up or are taken...sorry ...didn't mean to be cryptic....but the point remains...

                              Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                              St. Francis of Assisi

                              Comment

                                #510
                                Falling Apart

                                On taking compliments.... that is something I have never been comfortable with either. I'm finally learning to just say a simple "thank you" and that's all.

                                You are doing great sk8. I enjoy your journal and watching your recovery.

                                DG
                                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                                One day at a time.

                                Comment

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