Falling Apart

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

hehe can't have SK8 take have all the women to himself :H
However, that pic is two years old, since then I have gone downhill due to smoking, something I have to give up without further ado

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Thats right, Sk8 cant handle all the women on here alone. Although he would probably like to try. hehe

Im sure you still look good Wanna, and if you dont think you do, you can always bounce back. Its amazing how the body can bouce back when treated well. As you start to feel better, you will want to treat yourself better.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Noooo I don't look good, ask the army who have me on FB, I posted a pic before and after.
Gotta stop starting from tomorrow and eat fruit and all that stuff and jog and things, dunno why but that walk done me good tonight.

Thanks Overit, I am gonna change back to me duck in a bit :H

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Jeez I drive home from work and Wanna's trying to steal all my girls. LOL. Overs right I couldn't handle em all but i'd go out with a smile on my face.LOL. Wow I'm goofy today. Actually I'm like that all the time when I'm feeling good. I'm not always down on myself.
One last thing about my GF. Like I said I do feel I deserve to be treated with the same respect everyone deserves to be treated with. I'm only human and fell into the alcohol trap and made mistakes. I don't feel any decsion should be made about or relationship without her at least seeing me and see the changes I'm making. And if it is done it should be done face to face not by text or email.

Wanna don't be so hard on yourself. When I stopped drinking I worked out like a madman. Ended up losing 30 some pounds. I feel mucch better and treat myself better. You can do it too if you really want to. It is amazing how the body can bounce back.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh here's another thing on the topic of injuries from this morning. Near the last few months of my drinking. I would actually throw up blood and just crack another beer. Boy I'm hot huh? Never got that checked out either. My buddy whose mom is a nurse said its cause my stomache lining is shot. Eh still not going to get it looked at. I'd rather just keel over someday then sit alone in a hospital hooked up to tubes.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

ha you are mad sk8! thats why I like you. No I gave up the beer just need to give up the cigs, now I have motivation. I put two pics before and after and what I difference.
I will be bouncing back and in 6 months I'm a gonna start me own thread and take all your women :H

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

You know Wanna I've heard that most of my life, and usually when I sober. Guess I'm just a little off center. Part of my charm I guess. And you just try to take my girls! LOL.

You know I missed the whole Tijuana part off this thread. Man I really have had no life whats so ever (I'm sure you two would disagree.) I've done some crazy things, once again sober but never involved the fairer sex. I fell between the cracks generation wise. When I was a teen in the mid 80's skate/punks were not popular at all. Alot of fights. Then when they did become popular I was too old. Eh story of my life. The problem I've found with girls is finding one that can put up with my antics. It's like dating a 36 year old going on 18. I really don't care what people think. I'll dance to the music in a grocery store if I feel like it. I kinda do anything for a laugh if I feel up to it. I'm telling you I'm nuttier sober than I ever was drunk. Don't know why I ever thought drinking was a good idea. Just thought it fit my image really. Stupid. I'd rather be wired on caffeine then drink any day.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Easy now, there is enough women to go around for you guys, and some of us can even pull double duty if we have to. :H I'll volunteer for any double duty.



You know, not all that long ago, I did get my 30 days. I remember the realization that just kinda washed over me one day about 3 weeks in. I just realized, wow, I am really really happy. It was such a new feeling for me. I can only imagine how it feels with a really long amount of time sober. Since I really do not have any depression issues, I could possibly turn into one of those really really annoying happy people all the time

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

As a whole I'm happy. Certain things could be better but I do feel alot better. Seriously Over whats wrong with being that annoying happy person? I'm Mr. Positive about 90% of the time anymore. Which is a hugr improvement over being negative 99% of the time!

OK another confession. I'll keep posting these as they come to me....
I remember almost 2 years ago when my girlfriend was pregnent. For some stupid reason I decided I was going to drink almost everyday during the 9 months. Stupid I know but I figured once the baby was here I wouldn't be able to drink anymore so might as well get it all in. Little did I know I was setting myself up. I probably did drink every Thursday through Sunday. Nowhere to what I was drinking a year later. Anyway Monday July 28th rolls around and I'm at work. My GF calls and tells me its time. I go into panic mode. Which believe it or not is unusual for me. I race home and she is calmly sitting there putting on makeup. Still don't get that. Anyway later that evening my son is born. I'm allowed to spend the night with her in the room with her and the baby. We live right down the street from the hospital and I have to go home to let the dogs out. Well, and heres the confession, guess what I did when I got home? I quickly drank two beers before going back. No why the hell did I do that? The happiest day of my life and thats how I celebrate. Ugh I should have just quit drinking when she couldn't drink. No one but me knows this story.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Alright heres another part of my story with my GF that does complicate things a bit. Her dad is a alcoholic. He was sober for many years by the time we were going out. Oddly him and I are alot alike. He also helped her alot with her two boys running them to games and practice so we could have more time together. The November after my son was born he fell off the wagon hard. Don't know why but he did. Even got mixed up with oxycoton. Well since he wasn't around anymore alot more feel on her shoulders. We weren't spending as much time together. So what does my dysthmyia brain think...she doesn't like me anymore. So I fell into depression and drank even more.
As you can see the last thing she really wants in her life is another alcoholic. Probably also the reason she has shut me out like this. She doesn't want to deal with it. She is just waiting for me to fail like her dad did.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

You know today finished it off. This thread has had everything in it now. Drugs, rock n roll, sex, and violence. LOL. Nice job friends!

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

You probably snuck a couple of beers because you were overwhelmed! Having a baby is a very overwhelming thing!

You could be right about her waiting to see if you fail or not. Just proves that you cant fail.

Yeah, its been an interesting day, thats for sure!!! Just proves were not boring!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

No not boring at all! Well I had a couple of beers cause I'm a alcoholic. I do remember thinking to myself I should be alot happier than I am. That was just the way I was then. Like I said I always knew deep down something was wrong with me just didn't know I had Dysthymia.

I'm not gonna fail for myself. Doesn't really matter what she thinks. I know how that part of the story ends.

Funny how you mentioned realizations washing over you. I still get that. Like this weekend with my son it hit me that this little dude is awesome and I'm his dad! I freakin love being a dad! Its happened other times too. It think of it more as we're opening purselves to life and fully taking it in instead of shutting it out with alcohol.
If I really think about it. It is amazing I have remained sober. With the turmoil my personal life is in it would be a struggle for anyone. But I've just accepted that I can't do it anymore. Chapter done next one please.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Ok I know you're dying to see more pics of me LOL. Here's one from about 4 years ago when I was still in a band. Probably safe to assume I'm drunk in this picture. Plus alot of my tattoos are visiable in this one. Now someone tell me why I can't find a girl! LOL! Oh and that thing I'm doing with my mouth is because I'm concentrating. I used to stick my tongue out...don't know why. Funny thing is my son does that (sticks his tongue out) when he's concentrating

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

That is an awesome pic!!!! I love it!! Since I was always a band groupie, chances are if we had lived in the same town, I might have been chasing you!!

Dang yah, you got some Tats alright! More pics please, and how you put your pic in there like that???

What kind of band??? Punk?? I used to really like the Detroit punkish band scene. Best times of my life really. Mid 90's