Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Didn't bring me down at all. I can relate to the "in my own world" feeling. I've always felt a little on the outside myself. Kinda misunderstood. Being shy doesn't help. I really don't think anything is wrong with feeling like that but it probably has interfeared with me meeting some people.
Thanks for the well wishes concerning my relationship. It is going to take awhile, if its possible at all. But I'm there for my son no matter what.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Where you're at right now...it really seems possible....my circumstances are so different. I guess we are all in "our own world" but isn't so nice to talk with people who feel the same? My sitiation will not change until they change...but for you...you can make the difference!!!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

It is nice talking to people who understand. My situation all depends on her being willing to take me back. No matter what changes I make the decsion is still up to her. Right now she only knows what I've written her. She's not willing to see me or talk yet. So I'm really doing all of this for myself, the right reason. Hell she may not even recgonize me I've lost over 20 pounds since last time we saw each other!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Well I hope that weight loss is healthy. Not deprivation. Your situation from what I hear does not depend on the ex's decision, right? You are doing this for you AND your son....the most important reason.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Weight loss is healthy. No drinking eating better exercise/skateboarding and yoga. No the situation is in her hands. I can only make myself a better person and hope that she will forgive me and give me another chance. And you are right I'm doing this for me and my son.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

yay....you!! I want to learn (at my age) hip hop dance...and sober! I wish there was a place to do that here. sk8boarding would seem like excellent exercise...not in the cards for this old babe!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Again...good for you sk8er.....bottom line is -- it's for us -- my most revealing moment was in yoga class 4 years ago....totally selfish...but I realized i had boobs!!! The true meaning was I stood tall!! It was the first time in probably 30 year -- for the girl I am -- it was so significant...no boobs here...yada yada

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Trust me at my age I'm not as good as I used to be. But I do it for fun. Hopefully I get to do it more now that I won't be hung over all the time.
Nothing wrong with wanting to learn new things. Doesn't matter what your age is. Never to late to try. Sucks there's no where to learn hip hop dancing around you.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

My sentiments exactly...do it for you!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

And I wish...

[Chickey Babe]

Falling Apart

Hey there sk8punk,
Ditto to everything Overit2007 said, very wise words. I guess what really blows me away is your humilty, you know you made mistakes and you have owned up to them that takes major courage, good on you!!!!, however now it sounds as though you are being really tough on yourself and that is not useful anymore. Giving ourselves a hard time is a pure waste of energy especially and when depression is the beast that sucks energy in the first place. Being a parent is the biggest gift in life possible and your little boy is adorable, i'm so happy for you that he is in your life. There is a saying that gets me through it goes like this "Sing as though nobody is listening, dance as though nobody is watching you, love as though you have never been hurt before, live as though heaven is on earth"
Sending you warm thoughts and smiles upon the wind, and a light for your'e darker hours.
Chickey Babe

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Chickey. I no longer run from my mistakes. I have accepted that I did this and have to try to fix it. Today is a new day and I'm going to try to keep it positive. Got counsling today. I'll update after my session.

[Chickey Babe]

Falling Apart

Good for you babe, I'm not sure of the time diff as I'm in Australia so I hope youre session goes well today, it's strange because I'm new to the site but i'm drawn to you as I feel you are a good person with a kind and gentle heart who sometimes just feels too much, as I do and we can hurt more than others but oh how we can love and feel joy more than others. I believe in you, I feel it deep in my soul things are going to look up for you;o)
Warm hugs and gentle thoughts all the way from Aussie
Chickey Babe

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

You're to kind Chickey. You are right when people like us hurt its bad. I do hope things start to look up for me. Sometimes it feels like I may never feel "normal" again. I let you know how my session goes.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Had a good session today. We began working on my low self esteem and self hate. My counsuler say I beat myself up way to much. I'm sure most of you woud agree on that. She lent me a book called "Theres Nothing Wrong With You". So far I like what I've read. Its about how society teaches us to self hate and how to correct it.
Today was alright. I was beating up on myself again but I still feel better than I did when I started this thread.