Falling Apart

[papmom3]

Falling Apart

And finding it you are!! It's such a cliche but today really IS the first day of the rest of your life and you can make it be any kind of day you want!!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

You're right. I know the emotional rollercoaster isn't over yet. But I do feel better about how I can handle it.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Yay we can face our fears of inadequacy and post and feel adequate and stronger!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Yes we can. I think that I've held so many of these feelings in for so long. I was always to ashamed to discuss any of them. Now that I'm letting it all out the shame is lifting and I'm feeling better.

[Guest]

Falling Apart

Sk8...I'm only new here. I've read a few of your posts and I'm impressed by the way you are digging yourself out of the hole. I'm an Australian and life here is probably a bit different. When I was working I came across quite a lot of people who had low self-esteem. Mainly it was because they were short of money. A boost of cash in their jeans made quite a difference to how they saw the world. I don't know what you do for a crust but I strongly advocate that you think about starting a business. You seem to have the wit for it and I can tell you that if you get the right one the sky is the limit. Not only that, you will be busy and involved with people. You are only young and now is the time to get going.
Tell me what you think...I'd love to hear from you.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Blue,

I always wanted to start my own buisness. Open a skate/record shop. But that's another thing that's fallen victim to my low self esteem. I always think anything I start is destined to fail. My low self esteem doesn't really come from lack off cash. Though having money does lessen some worries.
I've had low self esteem since I was a small child. It only got worse through my adolescence. Being pushed around for being who I was, bad early relationships. My not being able to let go of the past evventually led to me drinking in order to deal with/feel confident.

[Guest]

Falling Apart

Mate...it's getting late here now, and my cat has decided to sleep on my computer chair so I'm stuffed for the night. Tomorrow I'll respond with some maybe useful ideas.
All the best.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Look forward to it

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I'm off to pick up my son. I'll talk to you all later to let you know how the day goes. I'm hoping to hold on to the positive direction I started last night.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Have a great time with Little Man! Just enjoy him and think how blessed you are that God picked YOU to be his Daddy

Talk to you soon!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Had a great day with my son. Poor little guy fell asleep on the way home. OverIt I do feel very lucky to be his dad and have him in my life. Do still feel a little guilty about not always being there for him. Still trying to fully forgive myself.
Can't believe its been 2 weeks since I started this. I feel better emotionally thanks to everyone here's help. I've still got a long road ahead of me, but at least I'm on the right road.
I think its time for me to send a message to my girlfriend about ending the silence when it comes to our son. I have no idea how he is during the week. And 9 out of 10 times she ignores any message asking about him. I always send her pictures of him when we are together. Its strange for me to be the more mature one. I also think its time for me to take resposibility and be able to pick him up myself. My dad doesn't mind but I do feel I'm putting him out.
She is making an already difficult situation even harder. She says she cares about me because I'm his dad but then acts as if I don't exist. I can't believe someone after all the time we spent together, loving each other that she can just turn her back on me like this. But she probably feels the same about me after what I did. Maybe some of you great woman on here could shed some light on what could be going through her head.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Im pretty sure this is an easy one sweetheart. Ever heard the term a woman scored? She is pissed off, and its wayyy easier to pretend you dont exist than to deal with you. I think Im right, not sure, as every situation is different of course. I do not know her personally.

I do know sometimes as women we just want to avoid a sitation, make it go away. Of course, you share a son, so this is not possible! I agree. You seem to be the way more mature one here, and perhaps she could start showing a little more incentive for your sons sake at least.

She likes that you contact her and she ignores you because it gives her a power play of sorts. She is trying to hurt you, and she knows its working. Not mature, but a way of keeping the upper hand on you so to speak. Not fair really!

Keep in mind these are guesses, but usually when one person ignores the other, definately a power play for them. A way to say "see, you cant hurt me" but really they ARE hurt.

Ok, interesting experiement running in my head. I wonder if YOU stopped contact with her, what she would do. Bet ya you would be getting a call or text real soon. Hmmm interesting theory at least.

[Guest]

Falling Apart

G'day sk8. I've sent you an email with some suggestions. Let me know what you think.
Cheers.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

OverIt

This is what happened when I got home today. I called her. It went to her voicemail. but surprise she called me right back. I said that we need to talk for our sons sake. See agreed. We ended up talking for 15 minutes. She did say the she" just can't do this right now but I'm not saying in the future we can't.".She also agreeed to answer any message about my son. And that she has no problem with me taking him for a few hours during the week. I still can't get him myself cause she said she doesn't think her kids aren't ready to see me yet. She did say she knows I'm a good person and a great father. I can't tell you what a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Its like you all said its going to take her time (she did say I've only been in counsling for a month and half, so she is keeping track) and me staying on track. I really do feel this relationship isn't over yet. I don't think she wants that either.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Blue,

I've done that before. I'll have to give it some serious thought.