Falling Apart

[dancingon]

Falling Apart

Be careful Sk8. It's great that you've had that talk, and that she may be willing to contact you more about your son. However, she may not want to get back into a relationship with you and that may be why she's reluctant to have you in the house. Just don't push that side of it. concentrate on negotiating around things to do with your boy.
It's great that she said you are a good father. That had to feel good.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I plan on doing exactly what I have been. The fact that communication is open is a large amount of stress gone. It's going to take time for her to see that I am making changes. The only way to do that is to talk to me. I know everything isn't resolved but tonight was a step in the right direction.

[Justforme]

Falling Apart

I can feel your sense of relief. I'm glad for you.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Just reading this this morning with my coffee! Oh... I got so excited and happy for you! This is definately a step in the right direction She is coming around a bit. This is great news.

Just keep doing everything you have been (I already know you will) and see what the future holds. Now I get the feeling her actions were to protect the children. That is a different story, and as I Mom I do understand her feelings.

Its too early to predict the future, but this is a great step in the right direction for sure! I know this has to be feeling good for you.

Haha, I just realized I pretty much posted everything YOU already said, LOL! Sorry, but I guess we are on same wave length!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Guess great minds think alike huh. I do feel a lot better. Not as stressed. A lot of my stress came from just not knowing what she was feeling. Now that she let me back in a little I'm not as worried. I really did call to say communication needs to be opened for our son. She's the one who took it in the relationship direction.
Funny how this a started by me answering that call last week. Guess things do really happen for a reason.

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

Very happy to hear about the progress sk8punk! Keep walking sober and life will keep getting better. (not necessarily perfect, but better!)

DG

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Sk8,

I am sure that things will only go in a much better direction from here on out. I think the worst of the suffering could be over.

If you both continue to work on your relationship in a positive manor, for the children especially, you could find you come to a common ground and perhaps since you have been through these trials and tribulations so to speak, It is entirely possible your relationship can emerge in an even better place than before. You would have gone through the fire and became stronger people and parents because of it. These words remain true even IF you decide to stay together or not. Time will tell that, but for your sake, I really hope you both fall back madly in love, and its even stronger than even before. These things happen to people all the time. They split apart, then come back together as one, and use what they learned from it.

[papmom3]

Falling Apart

OH SK8 I am so happy for you!! I could almost see the cloud above you as you worked so hard to change and improve and yet she continued to ignore you. And poof!! it's gone! You have both taken some great steps-at the very least you will have open lines of communication for your son and at the most, your relationship might start up again, stronger than ever. Whatever you do, take it ODAT OK? I'm sure your whole outlook is brighter today and whatever is in store for you this memorial day weekend,embrace it with an open heart and know that you are a good person and anyone who knows you or meets you is very lucky indeed. Enjoy the gorgeous weather and make the most of a long weekend!!

:l :h

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thank you everyone. I do feel more positive today. Even though things are still uncertain there is hope and a chance in there. I am going to take things one ODAT. I'm going to continue on this path I've started. I do feel I am coming out of this a better person. Everthing does happen for a reason.
I used to fight the world and never listen to anyones advice. All of that has changed within me. I've made my peace with myself and the world. If it wasn't for all the advice from here and others in my life during this I'm not sure where I would be right now.
I've still got alot of work to do on myself, but its easier knowing that she and everyone here is in my corner. And I'm in all of your corners as well. I'm going to keep posting here daily. This road to recovery still isn't over and the happy ending has yet to come.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8!! Just a quick pop in to say I'm delighted to hear your great advances. I think your ex is moving along quite nicely too. Indeed I am in your corner and honoured to have you in mine too!!! Beautiful weather and I'm off too whack some more lawn. Hope you're finding something more fun to do than me. )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC, Unless you think power washing a patio fun I think we had a similar day. Did some errands today and for once didn't feel "weird" in public. Put a new board together. Did feel a little lonely today but no wehere like I have been. I do think my self esteem is coming up with all my sober days and the fact I took initiative yesterday.
Guess I never talked about the book my counsler lent me. Basically it comes down to is by accepting yourself for what you are you defeat self hate. I know sounds very simple. But if you think about it. When you want to change something about yourself you obsess on it. By doing that you let yourself down when the results aren't fast enough. By letting yourself down you hate yourself. This doean't mean you can't change things it only means that you accept what you want to change and acknowledge that its going to take time to do.
Hope everyone is having a sobe a good long weekend.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Ok we're even then Sk8! Nice to be outdoors on a beautiful day and not hanging out on the couch with the tube. I've felt that weirdness when out too. I've come to realize as you have it is that nasty self talk and going out more is fine and even fun to see people and catch up.
The books principle is right on. I kinda indicated that thought line a bit back when mentioning happiness may not be the ultimate goal. If we can be contented (not necessarily complacent) in our life then we are not tying up all that negative energy in stressing with negative thoughts and spinning in our tracks or going in circles. I'm a workin on it too! )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Breaking the habit of negative self talk is hard. I've done it for so long that it seems second nature. Everytime I catch myself doing it I try to stop.

[KatieB]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;872009 wrote: Breaking the habit of negative self talk is hard. I've done it for so long that it seems second nature. Everytime I catch myself doing it I try to stop.

I am totally with you there - i've done 18 years of negative talking to myself! but its great that we both have insight now, and have the power to stop those thoughts in their tracks and change for positive one's - remember thoughts make feelings! xxx

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey everyone. Feel a little down and stressed today. Got to fight through this. I know everydays not going to be great. Learning to deal with emotions again is strange. The old me would have been having my first drink by now.
Was going to go skate today but looks like rain. Gonna go somwhere just to get out. Do wish I had somone to do things with. ODAT.