Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I wouldn't say I beat it. I just came to realize that its not a option anymore. The struggle with it will always be there waiting for me to have a weak moment. I just have to remember what it has done to me and cost me. You'll get there to Over.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Well another day. Not sure how I feel yet. Do know I don't feel like going to work. Been reading Katie's posts this morning. Glad things turned out good for her. Amazing how awful her ex sounds he is still supporting her. Don't even want to think about my situation right now. That's what always seems to drag me down. I know I need to give it time. Just wish there was some way for me to get through to her.
Talk to you all later.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

At work now. Feel a bad day coming on. Not sure why but I'm having anxiety attacks. Its been a few weeks since these have happened.

[daybyday]

Falling Apart

:lHi Sk8, stay strong and go easy on yourself today if you're feeling anxious. Let it ride out, you are doing great and lots of folks here for you.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Day, trying to be strong and kind to myself today. Much like Katie I don't have anyone inthe "real" world. I know I'm strong since I've come this far on my own. But there are days like today when part of me just feels like giving up. Its hard to live with the fact that I have caused all this. I've accepted that and have forgiven myself. But I still do occasionally get mad at myself for it. I still got work to do on myself. But I'll get there soon.

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8,
I hope your day goes well and that you aren't plagued by too much anxiety. In your previous posts you sound really positive, so try to keep that up (I know, easier said than done!). It's really great to hear how you have accepted that you just CAN'T drink. That is a HUGE accomplishment. I, too, finally got there with the help of Antabuse. It's plain and simple, I CAN'T drink, so why waste time even thinking about it. I am sorry you are having such a hard time dealing with your relationship situation....God can I relate to that. Please try to stay positive, you sound like you're making huge positive steps, and I'm so happy to hear it. Hang in there and know we're here if you need us!
K9

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8! Sorry it's a tough go the last couple days. How bout finding some humour vid's on the net. It really can pick our spirits up physiologically! Thinking about you and wishing you peace. ) Maybe some exercise right after work too?? Keep a plan in place.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks K9 and RC. I know I'm going to have bad days. Everyone does. I'm just going through a lot at once. The relationship issue alone is enough to stress most people out. Throw stop drinking, counsuling, moving back in with my parents,being put on antidepressents, and Dysthmia on top of that and you have one hell of a mess.
I do love and miss my girlfriend. the way she's treating me only adds to the stress. Plus I miss my son and wish I was in his life more.
Just got to fight through this today. Talk to you all later.

[Guitarista]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;875061 wrote: Thanks K9 and RC. I know I'm going to have bad days. Everyone does. I'm just going through a lot at once. The relationship issue alone is enough to stress most people out. Throw stop drinking, counsuling, moving back in with my parents,being put on antidepressents, and Dysthmia on top of that and you have one hell of a mess.
I do love and miss my girlfriend. the way she's treating me only adds to the stress. Plus I miss my son and wish I was in his life more.
Just got to fight through this today. Talk to you all later.

Hang in there buddy.
Try this. Get some running shoes, and run, run, run....at your own pace, start slowly and build it up. Probably the last thing you want to do, but it could really help you now. It's just so crazy, it might work.

Best wishes, G.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Went skating for a little after work, did some exercise and I'll do yoga before bed. Feel a little better. Just needed to blow off some steam. Skating is good for that. Gets the adrenilne going.
Funny how real emotions are still foregin to me. I feel I've made huge steps in my recovery. I begining to know and understand myself. Believe it or not I like myself again! My depression is under control thanks to the meds. I find myself laughing and cracking jokes again. I've accepted that all these problems were caused by me and am moving on. Leaving the past behind and concentrating on today for a better future.
The only aspect where I'm still feeling frustrated is my relationship. I know I can't change people so I don't know why I'm letting it bother me. Well I do know its because I care. I miss my son and hate not being there for him. It seems the further from the wreckage of the past I get the more important he becomes to me.
I need to stop dwelling on this. Focus on what I've accomplished and continue growing. Give everything time and let the pieces fall where they may. I got to work on patience.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

I'm so happy to hear you say these things Sk8!!! You have done the right things today physically and emotionally. Laughter, introspection and some good old exercise!!! Keep that plan in place. )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks RC! Funny I didn't really think I did anything until your post. I can say through introspection I'm learning alot about myself that I usually take to my counsuling session to expand on.
Strange for the first time in awhile I feel almost at peace with myself and the world as a whole. I spent the majority of my life thinking it was me against them. But now "they" are no longer around. "They" being what I felt about myself that I projected onto people.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning everyone. So far so good. A little tired today. Got counsuling today after work. Ill let you know how it goes. Hope everyone has a good day.

[Guitarista]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;875301 wrote: Went skating for a little after work, did some exercise and I'll do yoga before bed. Feel a little better. Just needed to blow off some steam. Skating is good for that. Gets the adrenilne going.
Funny how real emotions are still foregin to me. I feel I've made huge steps in my recovery. I begining to know and understand myself. Believe it or not I like myself again! My depression is under control thanks to the meds. I find myself laughing and cracking jokes again. I've accepted that all these problems were caused by me and am moving on. Leaving the past behind and concentrating on today for a better future.
The only aspect where I'm still feeling frustrated is my relationship. I know I can't change people so I don't know why I'm letting it bother me. Well I do know its because I care. I miss my son and hate not being there for him. It seems the further from the wreckage of the past I get the more important he becomes to me.
I need to stop dwelling on this. Focus on what I've accomplished and continue growing. Give everything time and let the pieces fall where they may. I got to work on patience.

That's a great attitude buddy. Sound's like you've got your head screwed on right to me.

Best wishes! G.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks! I know what I need to do. The trick is me actually doing it. Sometimes things throw me off center.