Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

It is. Fridays are hard for that reason. Now that I have so much sober time under my belt I want to get out and do things. Just don't have anyone to do things with. That usually triggers a slide into thinking about the past. I do go out myself but its not the same. At least not yetm

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Well, SK8.. Know you are not the only person who feels lonely. I live in a place where I have no family, or any real friends. A couple I guess, but I rarely get together with any friends.

My son is great company, but sometimes its nice to have an adult to talk to too! I guess that is why I post so much on here!

And I agree with Doggygirl. Living in today makes life so much less stressful. I used to be really bad at constantly worrying about the future. Mostly over money, I have alot of bills, but not much coming in. I worry that me and my son will be living in a shoe box, LOL But, that kind of worry doesnt get you anywhere does it. Just live in the moment, but try to plan for the future if you can.

Be well friend! Catch you later. Any word from your sons mother????

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

No word from her since Saturday. She's still got issues with me I guess. Not much I can do about it. I'm still doing everything I have been. That's really all I can do. Like everyone said its just going to take time. Until she wants to talk on a regular basis or wants to see me she can't see any of the changes I've made.
Quick question to get a womans opinion. Her birthday is coming up. I still planned on getting her something from my son and something from me. Should I ?

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Oh absolutly get her a birthday present. A woman needs to have her heart melted. All women really want deep down is someone that really loves them unconditionally.

A birthday present from you, if she has a heart as I am sure she does, will melt her heart a bit. Also include a card and write how much you care about her and your son.

Good luck! Jewelry perhaps, but nothing too expensive.

Haha...I just thought of something funny. If you DONT get her a birthday present, you could hear in the future "You didnt even get me a BIRTHDAY PRESENT ASSHOLE" LOL

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

This is just my opinion, and I know there will probably be a variety of opinions! I would definitely get her a gift from your son. I think that is an opportunity to do something fun that will make her smile - maybe something her and your son can enjoy together.

I would also consider getting her a gift (from you). Only you know every detail of your relationship with her - the rest of us can only guess. (and heck, you are probably guessing too!) Maybe something that shows how much you respect her as the mother of your child - what an important place she will always hold in your life because of that. Maybe a piece of jewelry with your son's birthstone. Something like that - not practical, but not necessarily romantic. Something lasting.

2 cents for whatever it's worth!!

DG

[techie]

Falling Apart

I'm going to throw out a guy's perspective here. It's your sons mom and someone you care about. GET A GIFT sk8. It's the right thing to do. Have a GREAT weekend. SKATE!

[Rusty]

Falling Apart

Sk8,

I sent you a very long reply about an hour ago but my hotel's ISP bounced me out.

This is a woman's opinion. Get her a gift, absolutely, and a card. And in the card, tell her how badly you feel about the times you let her down when you were drinking, and then offer to SHOW her you are serious. That's what she wants to see because that's what my family wanted from me.

They planned events and I showed up SOBER and ON TIME. (When I was abusing AL, I was NEVER on time and NEVER sober). It took a few months to prove to my family that I was serious and I was reliable. They were so worried about me, and I know your son's mom doesn't feel like she can trust you right now. My family didn't either. It does take time, but you can do things to demonstrate your sincerity to expedite the waiting process.

A woman's suggestion: How about arranging a time to see her in a neutral and unthreatening place, like a park or Starbucks', and give her your lovely gift. If you show up sober, on time, happy to see her, she might change her mind. The worst critic in my family changed her mind about me. Like Doggygirl says, "If I can, you can!"

Thinking good thoughts about you, darlin.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Over, Doggygirl, Techie, and Rusty. I completly planned on getting her a gift (from me). Just thought I'd throw it out there to see what everyone thought. Glad to see everyone thinks its the right thing to do. Just have to figure out what to get.
Its strange now that I've made progress there is a side to me coming out that hasn't been around in quite awhile. Deep down I am a romantic, clumsy about it, but a romantic none the less. She hasn't seen this side of me for some time. I almost get the feeling she thinks I'm doing alot of this stuff to get on her good side. When all I'm doing is being the real me. I guess this goes along with the trust issues.

Well today is day 57 for me. I tested myself and succeeded. I went to happy hour with the guys from work and drank nothing but Red Bull or water.Didn't even want a drink I was surrounded by people drinking. Didn't miss it at all. I enjoyed taking it all and being in control for once. Still had a good time cracking jokes and what not. I feel really good knowing I can do this and do it sober.
Fridays are still hard for me but I think I'm finally getting somewhere.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8. That is fantastic about the night out and 57 days!! Don't go gettin cocky though please??? As for the gift I like the suggestion (forget who made it) to buy something that connects you all with a piece of jewelery she will want to wear with your son's birthstone in it. Something simple but sturdy like a necklace with some kind of pendant?? Look forward to hearing about your choice. )

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

That is awesome Sk8!!

It is awesome you GOT OUT, and it is awesome you had no desire to drink! Good for you!!!!

Is her birthday anytime soon? There is a website that I got a few rings off of, they have really nice stuff, and it is very reasonable.

I LOVE my ring, and it was 30 bucks. You can shop from home, and the stuff is delivered in around a week or so.

The website is Overstock.com Just throwing out some ideas at ya. You know whats best to get her of course.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC, not gonna get cocky. Not even sure if I'm capable of being cocky. Just happy to see I was able to function in a social atmosphere with out feeling pressured or any anxity.
I will probaobly go the jewlery route. I'll be sure to let you know what I get.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

You know me. Worrywart and all. Glad you had fun and got out, you know. Have fun shopping too! )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Over, her birthday is June 24th. Funny mine is June 16th and I'm not expecting her to get me anything at all.
It was nice getting out. First time I really did since I quit drinking. Also made plans to go see Devo in July.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Devo would be really fun!!! Bringing back the old sckool memories there! Now Whip it, Whip it good!

Great, now I got that song stuck in my head...

Im happy your doing so well, and feeling upbeat. All good things.. Positive energy should bring you positive results!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Yeah I love Devo! Really looking forward to it. THanks for the Overstock tip. Gonna check that out tonight. How are things going for you? Hope its good. I wouldn't say I'm upbeat but I'm getting there. Still have my down moments but I fight through them now.