Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I do have that sense of being sorry for her. I came to that place a few weeks ago. I do feel I probably have a better sense of inner peace than she does. I have forgiven myself and others that have hurt me in the past and present. Can't have peace with yourself if you hold resentment towards others.
The time will come. I just seem short on patience at times.
I like the avatar and outlook you have. Each of us is different and different things work for each of us. Glad you seem to have found yours. All I'm doing this weekend is being with my son tomorrow and Sunday I'll work on her gift more. Everyone seems to love the picturebook idea.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Dropping in to say hi Sk8! You are getting some good advice on the hurry up and wait advice. JK. When I left my first husband over his alcohol abuse I was told to make it AT LEAST a 6 month break. I didn't have kids though and your wife is taking steps in the communication arena for you and your son's sake. I think that's all you can truly expect at this point. I feel you waver with what you expect from here and that is understandable but do remember she does not owe you anything at this point but to move slowly forward in the joint parenting process. Just my two cents worth too. I think what you have been doing is all you can do and your growth is commendable and inspiring! Good on ya!! )

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

OOps..."expect from her" not "here"

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC! How was the trip? What I do want at this point is communication for my sons sake. Unforunatly she has ceased communication again. Actually shortly after I called her. Right now I'm taking this time to work on myself and discover more about me. In doing this I'm giving her time as well.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Aw Sk8 I'm really sorry to hear this. Has this been since you sent the "angry/demanding" sounding text? If so I would apologize however you can stating that you were simply frustrated but understand that you shouldn't have put that pressure on her. Unfortunately that will mean building up communication again. I really understand how you want to see things move more quickly but I can really understand her wanting to have firm reassurance for her children's sake as well as her own. I'm sorry if I'm off base here as I may have missed some of the posts around this.

The getaway was awesome! Thanks for asking. I read a couple of reviews that thought the Eagles weren't "showy" enough but the sound remains the same. And the Dixie Chicks rocked the house too. We did a little shopping in a second hand chain and had a rich seafood dinner out to end the shenanigans of "Thelma and Louise". I think I'm Thelma. ;o)

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Glad to hear the trip was good. No this happened before the text. Actually part of the reason I was frustrated and sent the text. I did send a apoligy later that day. I don't think that text did any damage. I've moved on from that as you can tell from some of the messages after the text one.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Sorry I missed some things obviously. It's hard to figure out other people so you just keep figuring you out buddy and make the absolute most of the time you do have with your son. Would love to see the artwork you do for the photo book. Did you get the necklace with a birthstone?

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Not a problem RC. I've moved on from the frustraded stage. I'm very comfortable about myself right now. So its making learning about myself easier. I'm trying to be more patient.

I might try to put the artwork up sometime. Couldn't find a necklace with the birthstone that I liked. She should like what I picked out.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Nice to see you thinking about yourself sk8, change must happen with you first and then everything will fall into place and only when that change happens with you will you see things for how they are, steering well clear of the AL is an absolute must. I am beginning to see things how they are not how they were, regret and anxiety is of no further use to me, I used to travel to shops and places we used to go in the off chance I might bump into them, now I go because I want to and if they happen to be there one day then that's how it was meant to be. I no longer force myself or my needs upon them, I will wait until she is ready and in the meanwhile give to my family what they really need... a healthy daddy.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Right on Wanna. That's where I'm at now. You just put it in words much better. Patience is what I'm learning. If its meant to happen it will. If not then it won't . Like I said earlier its very nice to be at peace with myself. I view the world through different eyes now.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;884360 wrote: Not a problem RC. I've moved on from the frustraded stage. I'm very comfortable about myself right now. So its making learning about myself easier. I'm trying to be more patient.

I might try to put the artwork up sometime. Couldn't find a necklace with the birthstone that I liked. She should like what I picked out.

You know I'm feeling quite comfortable with myself right now too. Finally accepting the alone part and moving on to create some wonderful friendships that I would not have done otherwise and learning to feel alright with myself in this process.

I think being alone will be the quiet time you need for your growth and fortitude to keep on. Being too involved right now would likely interfere with that. Relationships are difficult even in the good ones.

I sure hope you share your artwork Sk8 and I'm sure the necklace is perfect!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Wanna....you're sounding good too!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Just a quick check in tuill I'm on later. Had kinda crappy day. Can't put my finger on it is. Could be since my meds were uped I'm sort of out of balance. Then again fridays are my roughest day. I'll try to figure it out in the mean time. Going to go eat some diner and listen to the Ramones. Maybe that'll help.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Feeling a little better now. Realized I was slipping into my negative thinking again. Focusing on what I don't have instead of what I have achieved. Fridays are usually the trigger for that. While everyone is excited to do something I don't have anything to look forward to. I know its up to me to change that. I need to start getting out and living my life more.
At least I'm at the point I can realize what is wrong with me. These would've been the times I drank. Anytime a felt weird like this I would drown it in alcohol. Now I'm facing up to the feelings. In a way its kind of liberating to know I'm free of alcohols tricks.
Gonna go listen to music and work on the picture book more. I'll keep checking in from time to time.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Glad you're out of the funk Sk8 and in record time! Good work. Well my evening didn't work out. Apparently the band was denied entry into Canada. Boo Hiss. Anyways, it's all good as I finally got this little laptop on line and should be able to download Java and get into chat from home now.