Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I only got out of it so fast because I'm more in touch with my emotions now. Knowing I can control them and that controls my attitude. Like I said I'm happy with myself now. No reason to beat myself up. I have accomplished alot recently. I'm getting there.

Well that sucks your night fell through. Nice to see you seeing the positive side of things as well RC.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Another odd thing I notice I do now. I never really paid much attention to the news. But now when I see a headline about a car wreck my first thought is "oh I hope its not my girlfriend and the kids." Guess it really not that strange to the parents out there. But its new to me. I really am in a different frame of mind now. Sometimes I even wonder who is this person! LOL!

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Its good to see your progress Sk8. I have enjoyed reading your honest, heartfelt posts. You have been changing right in front of our eyes for really just a short time. I like to read your posts for inspiration alot. Yes inspiration. Its amazing to see how somebody just walks away from alcohol and really means it. All the shit in my life from it, but I still battle with it. I hope I get there someday too, dont worrry, I will NEVER give up.

Not much really going on over here. Enjoying some free time with my favorite things, my son and my dog, LOL. Do you have any pets? Just curious. My animals really comfort me at times, or just entertain me!

Enjoy your evening if I dont catch up with you tonight.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Over! Don't know about all that inspirational talk. Seems like I'm struggling with something everday. Guess that called life. Don't know how to explain how I just walked away from alcohol. Wish I could would probably help a lot of people here. I think after that night things really fell into perspective for me. I had enough with the person I became. I view alcohol as can't and don't want to do anymore. Its almost like if it was a hot stove. I don't have to touch the stove because I know what will happen. I'll get burned. Well if I have one drink samething. Guess its just a state of mind you have to reach.

I do have a dog. He's here with me now. Pets are wonderful to have around.

So how was your day?

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Morning sk8, I am delighted you saw through your negative thoughts and focused on what you have achieved and where you are now, that is great progress. It is difficult not to focus on the negative aspects and takes a lot of practice.
I found steering away from the things that can provide negative energy such as sad music, people who don't like me, places which bring back memories etc can help and while I don't want to mask my feelings I let the negative energy out by spending an hour meditating which allows the positive energy to return. And while this all seems like newage nonsense to a few people, I do what works for me.
Before I got married I did this a lot, while I was married I did not do it once and now I am doing it again... odd but perhaps a greater meaning.

I don't have pets but there are a few stray cats that come by at certain times during the day and it gives me great pleasure to give them a saucer of milk.

Keep positive, keep well and I bid you a great day.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Happy Saturday Sk8,

Do you get your son today?? Well, enjoy your day either way. Stay positive.

Perhaps you do not view your posts as inspirational, but they do help others. Its inspiring to see someone being honest, and trying to be a better person. And its also inspiring to see your progress. So while you may not see it that way, others do!

And I think you have peaked my curiousity as well. Will he get the girl in the end, LOL! Regardless of whatever happens you can always find some comfort in this place at least, and know that the people on here really do care about what happens to you and really want to see the best for you and your son. Thats a real thing for sure.

Well, I have the day off today. Feeling good with no hangover, which is nice. I live in an area where there is so much to do, I actually have very hard time making decisions on a choice. Sometimes its nice to stay at home, but if we feel like it there is just about every attraction, museum, beach, zoo, theme park, park, you can imagine. Of course, the weather is getting very hot now, which is not so nice.

Catch you later and I hope you have a great day!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning Wanna. It is easy to fall into negative thinking. I'm getting better at not doing it though. Unfortunatly I can't avoid the places that bring back memories. Perhaps that's why I struggle from time to time. Just another demon to face.

Good for you doing meditation. I do yoga everyday . Kinda the samething. While I'm not a very religious person I do feel more spirital after all this. Like you said do what ever works for you.

Have a good day Wanna and keep up the great progress.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8, LOL, I think we were writting at the same time, you skipped right over my post I think, LOL. Just wanted to wish you a good day my friend.

Catch you later, and enjoy the day!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Yeah I did miss it! LOL! I'm on my way to get my son now. Feeling good today. I'm looking forward to seeing him.

Looks like you may have found you inspiration not to drink. Hang over free mornings. They do feel great don't they? I guess it feels good to be inspiring people. If anyone can learn or relate to my story and recovery then it makes those bad days I've had seem worth it. I'm curious to see if I get the girl myself!

I am jealous Over. Really wish I had the beach near me! Have a great day friends. Live for today and stay sober. I'll update later today.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Have a good time with Mini You, LOL.

Yes... Every one has their own reasons why they want to quit drinking. For me, I think the top reason I hate getting drunk is the mornings. They are the worst time for me. Nothing is worse than waking up in a panic, realizing that you were wasted the night before, then the awful realization that the rest of the day is going to be pure shit and hell because of the night before. Im also one of the "lucky" ones who gets drinking related panic attacks, heart palpitations, and severe anxiety for the day. Oh Joy!

So yes, by focusing on my "hangover free" morning, is INDEED inspiration for me! I HOPE this is my ticket.

Catch ya later!!!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Had a great day with my son! Had him for the longest time yet. My girlfriends oldest had late baseball game. Did the usual stuff. Best thing was taking a nap with him in the afternoon. I miss the litttle things like that.

Its always hard to say goodbye to him for a week. This is where some of my frustration with her comes from. I wish I could at least know what he's up to at least once during the week. Oh well not going to dwell on it. Can't change other people.

My birthday is this week. Usually I don't look forward to those anymore. But this year is different. 36 didn't treat me to well. With my new me I hoping 37 will be a lot better.

Hope you all had a great day too.

[patrice]

Falling Apart

Good for you... you are evolving into a very positive person with an iron will!! Yes must be real hard to only see your little one once a week and not know what happens in the intervening 6 days.. but at least you see him on Saturdays and that is special

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8! Sweet that you took a nap with your lad today. Now I'm jealous! Hmmm is envious the same as jealous? I guess neither are good feelings to dwell on eh. Babble, babble.... Really glad you had a great day with your son. There are more on the horizon.
OOO 37?? You're just a baby yourself! Don't ya hate that? I have 60 and 70 year olds telling me that these days...not much consolation for getting old I think.
How's the photo book artwork coming along?

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC! Its not how old you are its how old you feel. These days I feel younger than I have in awhile. I've seen people in their mid 20s that seem older than me!

Artwork is done. Just finished printing the last of the photos. I can't believe I filled the whole book. I'll try to get the artwork up here tomorrow. Its done in old school tattoo style (don't think I've ever mentioned I have tattoos here, oh well what does it matter). Its a rattle and a baby bottle crossed with a banner with his name. Came out good considering I haven't seriously drawn for 6 years.

Well next saturday is when the gifts get delivered. Curious to see what happens. It could be good or it could make Hiroshima look like a firecracker.

[papmom3]

Falling Apart

Hey SK8-Haven't checked in for a while but I have been reading all your posts. I can definitely see a shift in you towards peace and that is awesome!! It must feel really good to finally be able to concentrate on you and not be constantly wondering what is going on in your ex's mind. Good on you!!
Can't wait to see the artwork for the picture book!! I think getting back to your art is wonderful therapy. My nephew who skates is an awesome artist as well. I wish he would take it up formally but that's not his thing right now.
You MUST let us know the day of your birthday!! We HAVE to give you a proper celebration!!! Please????
Have a good Sunday and revel in the wonderful day you had that with that cutie pie of a son. Hope the sun is shining in Pittsburgh. It's very rainyh and dreary here in MA. Great day for getting paperwork done!!
:l