Falling Apart

[patrice]

Falling Apart

Well good on you because she does deserve that credit!!! And to be a wonderful Mum is super important.. time is what you have but she probably doesn't .. I have only got the one boy but they can be very challenging and time- consuming. Of course you must have negative times and you will on and off forever because we all do... but you are doing the right thing and your gf will see that.. when she gets a moment!!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8! Love the artwork and kudos to you for putting it up to share. I know that was difficult as is for many artists it seems. It will be one of their favourite keepsakes forever, I'm sure.

As for the tattoo downers and frowners. Pfffff If they don't like it they don't have to look. Someone mentioned taking your artwork in the direction. I think that is a great idea. Does that appeal to you?

Well it took me 6 hours to assemble and finish my lawn and an aching body, but I did it and feel very satisfied with myself for doing it too. lol Make me think of needing yoga again. Do you use a dvd or just from memory when you do yours?

Hope your staying positively in the moment Sk8. )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC. I'm glad you like it. It is hard to put art work out there. It feels like your stting yourself up for ridicule. I've done tattoo art for people in the past. Wouldn't mind getting back into it at some point.

I do yoga from a DVD. Its actually yoga for surfers. Since surfing and skating are a lot alike I figured it would be benificial.

I never let the looks get me down. Nowadays when I catch them doing it I smile and say hello. Usually cathes them off guard.

Glad you finally got that mower together. Sounds like quite the adventure. I'm trying to stay positive. In the moment. I do have a little slips here and there still with the positive thinking.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

"Nowadays when I catch them doing it I smile and say hello. Usually cathes them off guard."

Gotta like it! How many change their minds and smile, I wonder?

We all have highs and lows Sk8. I think you would be fooling someone if you didn't or admit to it. The highs on the mountains and the lows in the valley. Don't forget the valley when you're on top of the mountain and don't forget the mountain top when you're in the valley. All about humility and strength I think. )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning everyone. Ugh Monday. Feel alright this morning. Going to make the most of today even though I have to work. Hope you all have a good day. Talk to you later.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Morning Sk8, I hope you slept well. Yes indeed it is another Monday but it is also another day - another day for you to prove you can do this, that this may be the greatest challenge of your life. I love reading about your progress and progress it is - could you imagine yourself doing what you are doing now 6 months ago? Neither of us can, I foresee great things coming from this - if only they knew hey?
Since I have leveled out in the past few weeks I have put together a new plan, one that might just work, I am looking at all the reasons why I am in this situation and why things are happening as they are, so far I am still married but am not allowed see my child due to a restriction order put on me because of my drinking, removing the drinking may just put things in reverse which I already see happening, proving to certain people that I am making a big effort to do this should give me enough grounds to put this in place, but I have to do more and this includes going to AA meetings, managing my finances and so on, it may be a long shot but at least I have a goal and with something to aim for.
The same goes for you and Techie, proving that we can do it for ourselves will show that we are responsible, caring and have learned from our mistakes, which is very important regardless of the outcome.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Morning Wanna. I couldn't see myself doing this 6 months ago. Sometimes I still can't believe the person I'm becoming. Like you said if they could only see it.
Your plan sounds good. Its along the lines of what I'm doing. Since drinking is out of my life priorities have changed. I'm trying to be the best me and father I can. Through this I'm hoping others see that I'm making positive changes in my life. Its just going to take others time to see that and forgive us for our mistakes. No matter what the ultimate outcome is we will be better people.

[Rusty]

Falling Apart

Good Morning Sk8, Wanna, RC:

Sk8....alcoholism runs heavily on both sides of my family....and even though I have no kids and have never been married....my alcoholic aunts and uncle made my life really miserable when they were drinking and around me (this was when I was a teenager, and in college and MANY years before I ever drank). I never thought I would forgive them for being mean to me during one of their drunken tirades. But, I did, and those upsetting memories fade when you can actually see the positive changes they're making. Believe me, in the last few years, I have let my family down so many times with my drinking (showing up late and drunk for family events, drunkdialing, etc), and again, last night I apologized to my mother for my behavior of 1 1/2 years ago (my bottom) and she said, "Rusty....we have all forgotten about that and you were forgiven a long time ago....let's move past this, PLEASE!!!!!!!"

You are right....sober, we are all better people. I have a good feeling about your future....if your son's mother doesn't want to get back together and it seems lonely without her, you have made incredible strides and can offer someone else a great life with a sober you.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning Rusty. Thank you for sharing your story. It does give me hope that I will be forgiven. What happened wasn't really that bad. I just let down and diappointed my girlfriend and her kids. I can understand her anger and hurt. It will just take her time to get through this.
Right now in just working on me and trying to be there for my son as much as I can. It is hard to still care for someone so much that just ignores you because of your actions. One day she will see who I've become. I just have to be patient.
But like you said even if she doesn't give me a chance there is someone out there that will see me for the person I'm becoming.

[papmom3]

Falling Apart

there you go SK8ter!! That's the attitude to have!! There IS someone out there just dying to meet you and love and respect you for who you are now-not who you were 2 months ago. The universe will bring you together with whomever you're meant to be with, I truly believe that.
Keep the faith!!

[Rusty]

Falling Apart

Sk8,

I am so proud of you....like the old adage says, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going," and that is YOU. You are so loved here, and it is noticed and so it is a very contagious thing...which means other people outside of MWO will notice.

Yeah, the rebuilding part takes time...no way around out.

I am here for you, Sk8.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hi Papmom. I believe we talked about this before....I think this all happened for a reason. For me to become a better person, father, and partner. If we are meant to be together then we will. Its a test of sorts. Life is full of change. You can either fight it or accept it and roll with the punches. I spent a lot of my life fighting the world on one level or another. I can't do it anymore. It filled me with anger and negative energy. Mix that with alcohol and you had a time bomb waiting to go off.
The world isn't perfect and things haven't changed but I have. The world isn't as bad as I believed it to be.
In some ways I feel bad for my girlfriend. I know what its like to be filled with pain, anger and distrust. I hope she can come to some sort of peace with herself and me. For us and all the kids. Until that happens I don't see things changing.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Good morning Sk8! I have to jump in to say I'm noticing that shift in your thinking as did Papmom. I know you've said you will accept your ex's refusal to reconcile (if it comes to that) but today you took it a step further in believing you are worth being appreciated for the person you are becoming. I picked up on that right away as did Papmom.

I too take great pleasure in watching you grow so strong in your journey and I am also honoured to be a part of it.

We may never find our soul partners but we know we are valuable enough to deserve one!

Hi to Jessie, Papmom, Wanna and Rusty!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Morning RC. You all are a part of my journey. As I am apart of all of yours. I appriciate all the advice I've gotten here. I don't think I would be as far as I am today without it.
I wonder how many people out there think or see life like the recovering addict. Its almost through our struggles we find the understanding of life. Strange journey going through hell and back.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Ugh still at work bored out of my skull. I feel I made some big steps today with my earlier posts. Trying to hang onto that positivity. I'll update when I get home.