Falling Apart

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

[pre]I wonder how many people out there think or see life like the recovering addict. Its almost through our struggles we find the understanding of life. Strange journey going through hell and back.[/pre]

Hey Sk8. I guess for some it is more intense struggle because of the depths we can let alcohol take us, but I think everyone has those struggles. It's just how we handle them differently. Some people stick their heads in the sand, some do drugs(street or legal), some do alcohol, exercise, yoga, counseling, art therapy etc. The key - I think - is to find a healthy balance of healthy ways and not become carried away by any one mean of dealing with stressful situations. That's what I'm trying to do and I think you are too. )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC, I was getting at how I know my alcohol abuse changed my life. I now look at things diffrently then before. Finding more healthy outlets or learning how to deal wth stress is a must.

You were right, I do believe I'm worth being appriciated for who I'm becoming. This journey hasn't been easy. Strangely going through this has built character and given me a new positive outlook. Thats why I feel it was meant to happen. Lately I've had several people, including my counsler, tell me that I "look" like I'm feeling better. That the changes I'm doing are now begining to show. Once you start to beat the self hate others notice.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

And we hear it in your words and thoughts when you post Sk8. You really have grown so much in a short amount of time. Interesting how our thoughts can be reflected in our features. I'm sure people ARE noticing a more open and centered person when they see you this past week.

I tend to be very transparent with mine - a difficult thing when you have to serve the general public. Although it's good - many of my customers have become friends. You tend to share intimate details in this business.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thank you RC. You've all helped a great deal. I hope others are getting something out of my ramblings too. Funny you mentioned being open. I never liked to let others know how I was feeling. Unless I let down my wall for you, chances are you never really knew me. But in this thread I've bared all. There are things here that my parents or girlfriend don't even know about me.

One thing I found in myself is compassion for others. Like I mentioned before I used to be so angry and had a f-em all attitude. That really just made me a miserable person. Thats why I said I feel bad for my girlfriend. I know what feelings she has running through her head. I've been there it's not a good place to be. Each of us are different and handle things differently but negativity is negativity. Its amazing that we let feelings control us when we are the ones in control of the feelings.

Early on when I was getting sober memories where just flooding my head. I wondered why at the time. All they seemed to do was bring me down. But now I can think of those memories and smile. They came back to me to let me know that there was joy in my life and there will be again. But this time I'll appriciate it a little more when it's actually happening.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Compassion, humility and empathy are wonderful traits to celebrate Sk8. I think that's why many of us are taken down a notch or two at times because we forget what it's like or have never experienced what others have and why they are struggling.

I am speaking from my own experience here. When I went through my first ever bout up depression, it was like a dark cloud had descended upon me and I couldn't just suck up the sad feelings I was going through. I was very humbled by the fact that I couldn't and needed support. It was then that I grew in compassion and empathy for people who suffered the despairs of depression. Not only that I can share the experience to help others. Not exactly how I wanted to learn for sure, but it's not always about what we want, is it. Careful what you ask for, as they say. ;o)

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Yeah this isn't exactly how I wanted to learn either! But I am learning. Got to take what life gives you at times.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning everyone. Hope your all doing good. Feel alright today. Had restless sleep last night. Going to keep doing what I have been. Seems to be keeping me in the now and positive. Hope you all have a good day.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Morning Sk8! Had a restless sleep myself. Weird but pleasant dreams...hmmm. lol Anyways good to be alive isn't it? Looks like summer type weather in the cards for the weekend. I don't have to cut my lawn this weekend so off to my cuz's 50th with the top down. Woo HOO. Think I'm rushing the weekend a bit though eh? Something to look forward to...razzin my cousin ar ar.

Make a good day whatever it throws at you! Later Sk8er!!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good to see you in such a positive mood today RC. I'm not quite there yet. Not down but not up either. Sometimes I wish I had a larger family. Then I could look forward to events.
Nothing but rain here. Feels more like fall then summer. Its been a strange season so far.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8,

Im here too, and thinking about you. Well, you may have rain, but damn we got some MAJOR HEAT going on. So hot, cant even really go outside, so I think ill just sit in the airconditioning for the day.

Dont be down, im kinda down today too. We both cant be down, so lets just both get in a good mood ok? Well at least I tried!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Over!. Not really down. Feel like I'm just here today. Hard to explain. I'm trying to pull myself out of this.

[techie]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;887488 wrote: Hey Over!. Not really down. Feel like I'm just here today. Hard to explain. I'm trying to pull myself out of this.

Hey sk8, me too, just here. I think I've figured it out though. It's just the normal ebb and flow of life that I think we were not really in touch with drinking. Think this is just how normal is. Thoughts?

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

I think we are used to changing our feelings and emotions with drinking. Take the drinking away and you can be a bit confused as to what you are feeling? My problem is I get feeling bored too easily. I really need to find better outlets to my boredom!! That is so key for me.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Techie and Over. Could be right. Maybe this is just normal and we're not used to it. Usually it would be hung over or angry at something. Funny how if I'm not feeling something extreme like anger sadness or happiness I tend to panic.
Kind of wish something would happen today. Maybe something good for a change. Not gonna hold my breath though.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Thanks for your kind and wise words on the ODAT thread. Whoa, I think we may have freaked out the newbies, LOL. They are probably like WTF??? Just kidding, I really am inspired by the newbies, they are doing so good, I hope they all make it! Well, if they dont, we will be here to catch them ey Sk8.

You have a birthday coming up dont you? You should treat yourself to something really special, you damn deserve it guy!!