Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Maybe I'll take a pic with my son and those glasses tomorrow. Yeah I'm sure I was quite a sight to see. No wonder I'm fighting all the girls off! LOL! I need to find where all the misfits are around here. Seems around my parents place everyone is normal.
Today is one of those days I don't feel like being alone at all. Don't like when I feel like this cause in the real world after work there is no one to hang with.

Hey Rusty I'll check in here from time to time today to see what you're up to.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Ugh just trying to shake off these negative feelings I have today. For a split second the demon tapped me on the shoulder and said "screw it all you need a drink." Fought that off but still feel sort of out of it today. Maybe today is another test.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hang tough there Sk8r. I messed up again and have to admit I am not ready for modding if I ever will be. Going to give at least 90 af days a go now. I know people will say why not give it up altogether but I"m just not there yet. So I'm really feeling out of sorts today too. Thanks for your thread and honesty Sk8.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hang in there too RC. Today is one of those days I feel like I'm in full on panic mode. Not gonna drink though. Its like I know what I want but don't know how to get it. Or it feels like I've done all these changes and in reality nothing has changed but me. Feel lonely again and really don't want to be alone but at the same time don't want to be around people. Kinda feels like I'm losing my mind. Like I said probably another test day for me. Wish I wasn't at work so I could go do something.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Feeling better now. Just needed to relax a bit. Not sure what brought that on or even what it was. Hope I don't go through that again. Now let's move on through the rest of the day. Be thanful for what I have.

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8!

Happy Friday....I know it's hard heading off to work, but as I constantly remind myself, I am darn lucky to have a job! (I'm not sure exactly when I turned into such a Positive Polly...LOL) And yes, please take a picture of yourself in those sunglasses, this I gotta see!

I actually had a "drinking thought" about 2 days ago, it hit me out of nowhere, and I just thought to myself "hmmm, that was weird"....anyway it passed and I'm still strong. Just shows it can sneak up anywhere, anytime, but we both know we're stronger than any old craving!

Have a great weekend and enjoy the rest of your day!

K9

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey K9, definetly came out of nowhere. I think it was a combination of wanting to be anywhere but at work and feeling lonely. Had weak moment and it tried to sneak up on me. But like you said we are stronger than that.

I'll see what I can do about the pic. I have a bright green pair too. I'll try to get my son to wear those and get the picture.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Hi SK8, K9, Overit, RC and everyone else yet to drop by.
Oh don't be silly SK8, I know you wouldn't do that... I had thoughts too but they are only thoughts - its never gonna happen, my goodness imagine if it did now after all we been through!

Had a downy kind of a day so steered clear from the forums, I find that helps, I just stuck me head down and worked like mad, now I have so much done I can rest for 2 days next week at work - haha, bit lonely tonight, keep thinking about my wife - maybe I will see her again tomorrow when I go my Son... that would be deadly cool.

I hope everyone has the best friday ever!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Wanna yeah I wouldn't do it. At this point I can't even imagine drinking again. I was just shocked that the thought even entered my head. I know what you mean about the loneliness and thinking. I think that is natural can't really do anything about that and carry on. I am sometimes curious if my girlfriend thinks about me.

[techie]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;894998 wrote: Hey Wanna yeah I wouldn't do it. At this point I can't even imagine drinking again. I was just shocked that the thought even entered my head. I know what you mean about the loneliness and thinking. I think that is natural can't really do anything about that and carry on. I am sometimes curious if my girlfriend thinks about me.

Ah see now 8 here is the heart of the matter. You have this lingering doubt festering in your head today. Is she thinking about me. Of course she is. Refocus. It's that Friday afternoon funk. I had it baaad last week. Still learning to deal with it. Enjoy your weekend. You too wanna!

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Of course she does, she has to, I am not sure how you ended up, I ended up walking out of the home, so messed up I was I preferred to give up the family home for beers, yet I had very very little since I left 6 months ago, she is hurting, there is a glimmer of hope and its what we have to work at.. it would be better than no hope at all. I would say no news is good news, keep it up SK8 and don't give up no matter what cause you will need to be strong for the future anyhow.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

And you too techie, hows it going with you?

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hit the nail on the head Techie. For some reason I do have doubt in my head today. Not only with her but look at what I said earlier. I was even questioning if all this is worth it. Don't know why fridays bring this out. But I'm refocusing as I write this. Thanks Techie and Wanna.

[KateH1]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8, Wanna and Overit!
I have to say, I love reading this thread! I am not in the same place, (nor age group) of any of you. But, I so appreciate the bond that you have all formed here and the support (real support) that you offer each other and all that visit. Each one of you is such a devoted parent.....that is to be respected and admired for sure!

I am wishing you all a wonderful sunny weekend! And that goes for the "visitors here" as well! There is absolutely nothing better than waking up on Saturday and Sunday morning, knowing that you can do absolutely anything that you choose to do. Your head is clear, no regrets and energy to burn!

XO Kate

[techie]

Falling Apart

wannachange;895004 wrote: And you too techie, hows it going with you?

I'm good. Well as good as can be. I have visited my daughter but she is still withdrawn from me. It hurts deeply. However, I know that she needs time and I'm going to respect that. The wife and I talk but nothing on a reconciliation level. So, I'll keep working on trying to be the best me as I possibly can.

Thanks, and I'm an truly happy to see the progress both you and sk8 have made. In a sense we really are in this together. Again, have a great weekend boyz...john