Falling Apart

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Aw Sk8r sorry I missed trying to encourage you yesterday. Trying to come to grips with my own stuff. I tend to be kinda private about it at times. As someone here pointed out "mysterious" might be appropriate although that is not my intention. Just hate to admit I cannot control a situation. ie these drinking episodes I get into

So glad you talked yourself through your funk even if you are tired today. Your son won't give a damn if you do things slowly with him today as long as he is with you.

As for the ex Sk8, I hope you will give it more time. I know you a very anxious and hopeful, but I also don't know the exact circumstances that is making her keep her distance. As I said before, I was told at least 6 months separation before considering reconciliation. Not what you want to hear, but maybe need to be reminded. You already admit patience is something to work on and this may be the lesson right now.

Give that little guy the sweetest hug from me please and thank you!

And where is that pic with the funky glasses???

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hello all. Just checking in my son is taking a nap. Do feel a lot better today. I just really lost focus yesterday. I'm sticking to the same plan I came up with last week. Continue to work on the parent relationship with my GF and take it from there.
Still tryin to figure what triggered yesterday. I think it was just a weak day and seeing all these happy people doing what they want and having someone to share the day with threw me into a funk. I'll get there one day. RC I sometimes forget that I made such a lerge amount of change in a short time that even my counsuler comments on how unusual it is for someone to do that. If a professional is surprised by that how could I expect my GF to think its normal?
Funny enough I got a rather positive/supportive text from her today.

Oh haven't taken any pics today yet. I'll get on it.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Good man SK8, I came to a realization today, I will probably never reconcile - the relationship with my son is going very well but there comes a point where the realization comes in head strong, I met her today driving the same road as me, she was on the phone laughing - I think she moved on and I am happy for her - if she wanted this she would make the effort to arrive 5 minutes late or something or 10 minutes early just to see me or talk to me.
I have accepted it and am not too sad, a little but not major sadness, at least if I keep going as I am I will have a good relationship with my son and who knows what the future might bring.
Have a wonderful evening!

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey guys,

Thats very true Sk8, you have made huge changes in a pretty short amount of time. It could be very likely your girlfriend is unsure of what to make of them or how to proceed? You got a good text? Im sure that made you happy. Perhaps shes coming around?

Hey Wanna, sorry to hear your relationship may be ending. It sounds like your going to be ok with it, so thats good at least. Look at it as a new beginning to a new life for you. I have been single a long time, and there are days I am so happy to be! Of course, other days I am lonely too, LOL, but honestly there are times where I just love the freedom. Freedom is a nice thing

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh Wanna are you sure about that? Maybe you're just having a day like I did yesterday. In any case you have the right attitude. Keep going.

Over I wouldn't say it was a great text but it was very similar to those I used to get from her. Its going to take time and patience. I think I've just got to stay focused.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh Wanna are you sure about that? Maybe you're just having a day like I did yesterday. In any case you have the right attitude. Keep going.

Over I wouldn't say it was a great text but it was very similar to those I used to get from her. Its going to take time and patience. I think I've just got to stay focused.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

RC I sometimes forget that I made such a lerge amount of change in a short time that even my counsuler comments on how unusual it is for someone to do that. If a professional is surprised by that how could I expect my GF to think its normal?

Exactly Sk8. Glad you're having a better day!

Wanna, you know best, but I agree with Sk8. It hasn't been that long for you either. Hang in there guys if it's what you truly want. No promises but you will be growing in any event.

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

SK8...it's time to make a decision...if a man were doing for me what you are doing for her...I would so touched and I wold KNOW that he was the man for me........

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Thanks guys, but no hurry on making any decision SK8, moving on now would rock the boat especially for me anyhow regarding access, I will give it a year: for me and my AL problem, my son and if nothing happens with my wife then I will see about moving on.. but no panic on that front! Difficult to replace the love of your life, certainly won't happen over night and I won't be going out looking for one either.

Have a fantastic night!

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

wanna...that was sweet

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

Wanna, I agree I think it's great that you are focusing on your son and taking the rest in stride. Whatever will be will be. Your son will only ever have one daddy.

sk8, sometimes I find myself getting disappointed or worried or whatever over a loved one's ups and downs. *I* am allowed ups and downs and mood swings, etc. *I* am allowed to change my mind or be unsure or whatever other imperfect sort of thing. But I expect those around me to be perfect, and to accept my changes without question, etc. I'm having to work hard on allowing others the same flexibility for imperfection and change that I want afforded to me. I am working to go with the flow of others in addition to going with the flow of me.

DG

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

DG that is perfect. Pretty much exactly how I feel. We expect others to see our changes and welcome us with open arms. I do tend to forget that she is dealing with things too. I'm going to remember that next time I start to stress out.

Wanna, I can echo your statements too. She really is the love of my life. I'm not out looking. I still think and act as I would with her. Early on I would wake up expecting it all to be a bad dream. That used to cause me such pain. I do ask myself from time to time if she is the love of your life then why did you do this and become this. Can't really answer that since no one decides to become a alcoholic. But I think of it this way, its like life is testing me. And if she is the one then in the end it will all work out and the relatioship will be stronger for it. One thing I know for sure is I love being a father.

Mama, all the things I did I did because I love her and she will always be my sons mother. I still do like to here from you ladies that I'm doing good and right things. I'm sure all that I've done has given her something to think about and shows here I am changing. Would I still be having bad days like yesterday if we were back together? Probably since we all have bad days. But me having a day like yesterday would do nothing to encourage her to my changes.

Id like to thanks you all for your continued positive thoughts. Those together with mine can only help my situation for the better. I've seen first hand at what one persons negative thinking can do. With so many positive thoughts it can only be good. I'm not a very religious person at all. Never have been. But through all this I have become very spirital in my own way.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh I forgot I did get picture of me and my son in the punk glasses. Hopefully it'll be in my email when I get home so I can switch my avatar.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Yeah we want to see that! We all need a good laugh now and then!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Love every bit of that last post Sk8, especially the part about having bad days and would she be able to cope right now. Why not give her that space so respect can be as high as possible if it is to be. Can't wait to see the pic! )