Falling Apart

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Yes really! I'm not good at remembering names of songs or who did them for talking music talk but I like music and I have a pretty good ear for good stuff I think.

Well maybe a band isn't something you can do right yet-or ever again-, but I think I read you picked your music up again along with art. So that's great and who knows how the future will unfold.

Think I will check out chat and say hello and then head for home soon. If you want you can check it out and start a private chat if you are not comfortable but still observe or lurk as they say in the main chat to get a feel for the conversation or just listen.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey LB!! Good to see you:l Don't go putting pressure on yourself here please? This is a safe zone and whatever you want to say please jump right in. I'm positive Sk8r does not mind! How are you doing??

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

All right one more confession and I'm off to bed. When this first went down and I had about a week sober I thought to myself it was time to give up all this skate and punk stuff. Time to grow up. I even went out a bought 4 button up shirts (stripped). And tried to be "normal" for a few days. Didn't work it wasn't me. Yes I still wear the shirts but now I put 1 or 2 pins on them. Its not the clothes that make me. Its me. So that brings me to my question for you ladies here. What is wrong with me? I know you've all said I'm good looking (I don't see it). So what is it? Is it the girls around here suck like Overs guys in Flordia? Does everone assume I'm involved already? Am I intimadating. Mind you I'm not looking for a girl. Just figures since I'm doing all this self improvement and soul searching might as well tackle this too. I'm looking forward to your answers. Plus this is a fun light topic unlike todays earlier one.

[Liverbirdy]

Falling Apart

hey RC...I am doing ok...though I am not totally sober yet......I think I should really go back onto the antabuse as it seems the only thing that keeps me sober...have been having a really hard time these last few days...
Sk8....you're not intimidating at all....
LB

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Wow Sk8. When I read that post first feeling was lol, next sad, then afraid and reflective because I like to be honest with myself and others and didn't know if I should pm you or post my deliberations with myself.

So...lalala...I am going to write my words into a document and then post here. Might not finish til the morning but I promise me and you that I will post before even reading anyone else's response. Let's call it my little experiment with myself if you don't mind.

Believe me this is not as much about you as it is me in defining what I am looking for or how I react around males.

Ok now I'm really scaring myself. Let's see what I come up with. Sheesh....crazy lady and out!!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sweetie you're up late girlfriend....I like the YET in your voice K...I know you can do this. Don't let it beat you!!
I know not much about Antabuse, but if you've taken it before and were safe with it then why not?
I just got real tired and I have to drive home...not far....but it's time for me. Take care and come back sooner than last time please?:l

Later Sk8r!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Ok , I will start with the most difficult part of my reflections. As I would never want to hurt your feelings SK8!

If I saw you somewhere without knowing you and I saw all your tattoos and piercings with pins on a new striped shirt (lol) honestly I think I might feel intimidated but would also reflect as I am wont to do. I would observe your mannerisms how you interacted with others and particularly if you had your son with you—I would make a judgment on how you were with your son. Right or wrong that’s likely how it would go.

NOW
I would have no real idea who you are though. However, as you said, you are probably more honest with us on this forum being the real you than you have been with just about anyone. (hope I got that part right) Therefore I have gotten to know you. So I am not intimidated by you. I have a great deal of respect for you Sk8. Not for looks good or bad in whoever’s eyes. Respect for the caring, open, fun, talented (that you continue to explore) person that you are. Respect because you enjoy people and can ask for help and are very supportive too. Respect for the love you have for your son and yes your ex too. I know it’s been hard but you are so doing the right thing-imo-with your relationship right now. RESPECT THAT YOU’RE MAINTAINING YOUR SOBRIETY!!

Ok, don’t want you to get too big of a head here. My point is that I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. You are too young for me though, don’t get any ideas fella. ;o)

I will add too that I would wonder why a person would put so many tattoos on their body. That is a lot of pain you are wearing.

So now I want to reflect on what I look for in a male and why I fall for the wrong ones. Hehe I think I will leave that for further deliberation. hehe

[one2many]

Falling Apart

Good post RC!

Sk8, my opinion does not count lol, since I was in that scene myself and love the look. In fact I would have been the one standing at the top of the stage shaking my head to the music, while stealing glances and if you looked at me pretending I wasn't.

I think initially you would attract similar people who like the look, the music etc and who would "get you" on sight.
Then you would have the girls who would be attacted to you by talking to you, getting to know you and realising that you are a cool, nice ,gentle guy underneath the tats.
I do think tats can be intimidating for some people. Rob has 2 full sleeves and his chest covered and sometimes if we go out I notice people looking at his arms and automatically making the assumption that he is trouble.
This makes me laugh because altho he is big, bald and covered in tats he couldnt fight his way out of a wet paper bag and has never been in touble in his life..

Looks can be deceiving......

I have a friend who even at this age (37) still sports the mohawk, the clothes, the tats, the boots, fronts a punk band and is married to the most girliest girl imaginable. She is blonde and pretty and sweet who loves kittens and rainbows lol....in other words they are poles apart but get on like a house on fire.
If you ask her what she thought of her husband when she met him she will tell you..I thought he was a weirdo...till we started talking...the rest is history as they say.

Who knows who we will fall in love with..who we will meet or who is already in our lives who will always be our soulmates.
Whats for ya will not pass you by....

So in short SK8, nowt wrong with you....everything about your physical appearance makes you who you are...those who have a problem with it are not important.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.


(So feck them)

[one2many]

Falling Apart

LOVIN the tats by the way! Picture of safety pins next please lol!

[KatieB]

Falling Apart

one2many;899535 wrote:

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.


(So feck them)

Great quote!
and so true.. people who judge or are cruel towards others are only showing themselves up.. so here here!

You have such a kind heart sk8punk.. some lucky gal will surely see that and be bowled over by you,
Katie x

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning everyone! Thanks for the responses RC and Oney. That's what I was looking for great job! Yes I'm not proud of my moment of doubting who I am when I first got sober. Funny I used to have the mind set of there's nothing wrong with me you're the strange one. Somewhere along the way it turned into I'm weird. I don't know if either one is a good way to think but I'm starting to go back to the first one.
Honestly like I said I'm not to worried about it right now just wanted to have fun today.
But you are right. Looks are what we first notice but what really matters is the person inside.

I'll go into why I got all the tats later when I have more time. And Oney I'll try to get a pic or two of the safety pins. There's more than one. I used them as filler on my right arm. I'm off to the doctors but I'll keep checkin in on my phone.

[one2many]

Falling Apart

Yep, I think a day of fun is on the cards.....gonna see if I can fond some old pics om me back in the day...

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Have a good day Sk8'r! At least you dont have to work right??? Thats always a good thing!

I hate to say it, but sometimes I suppose people are right when they say that "timing is everything" in relationships. I actually have dated a few Florida guys that I really liked, but because the "timing" was off, the relationships ended. (Or they just sucked LOL).

Everyone always says that when you least expect it that love happens. Um Ok, well Im still waiting for that to happen, but perhaps if your relationship does not work out, maybe you could be one of the lucky ones who meets your dream girl at the gas station, or the grocery store. You just never know I suppose!


Ill be working all day, but hope to catch up later.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Katie. Ok Oney I took a pic of my Nobody's Hero gun tat with the safety pins around it. I'll post it up when I get home. And yes nobodys hero comes from the Stiff Little Fingers song.

[one2many]

Falling Apart

I thought as much lol....thats weird I have Alternative Ulster blaring here!!