Falling Apart

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

well put RC...I am proud of you sk8 for your sobriety, but years of pain and damage cannot be fixed in three months....I think there needs to be some middle ground...she should not ignore you, but you may have a lot of making up to do....

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Ah SK8r you know I would not say these things without really thinking about it first and I do have some experience. My first wasband did not get sober and stay sober for many years. He had been to rehab several times even. I was young and took him back against the advice of alanon and the police several times until I said no--6 months is necessary. It was very hard to do but in the end I had to realize he wasn't ready and I had to move on. I heard of many horrendous things that he did after I left. I am not projecting that you will be like him in any way. But giving it time cannot hurt whatsoever if she does love you and is being cautious as I believe she should if I was in her position.

You do need to be focused on yourself in order to become more empathetic to others I think. So focus away but without being demanding. And good Lord do not show up on her door unannounced!! lol

Have a wonderful day with that little man of yours. It is a golden day here. )

[one2many]

Falling Apart

Hi Guys,

I am eventually back from the family fun day and really should not have worn heels..

SK8.....when you feel deeply for someone it is very hard to turn those feelings off, even tho some days for feel like you hate her because she is treating you so bad and other day you feel so shite because you love her so much.

It is very confusing.

What will be will be and tho I do not agree with how she is treating you, you know in your heart what the relationship is worth....if you are willing to give her time and see if she relents or make a break.

I do think that she should let you know if there is still a chance or not for reconciliation, otherwise if there is not, you are just prolonging the agony. Even if she lets you know that much but does not want to do anything about it till you prove yourself....at least you have a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think the not knowing is the most frustrating and to be honest the time should fit the crime in my opinion and I have forgiven worse than that.

So I really think if there is a chance for both of you, even if it is months down the line , she should let you know...

But as I said, if it is for you, it won't pass you by and I really hope that the relationship can be saved......and I hope you find out one way or the other soon xx

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

It is not a matter of punishment to fit the crime. It is a matter of giving some distance to see if there will be re-offense. I don't think she is being punitive--just rightly cautious.

[one2many]

Falling Apart

Distance is all fine and good RG but no communication whatsoever is, in my opinion, serves no purpose.

Anyway....what the plan for tonight guys?

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

There is a reason for the distance Oney and impatience will never find it. We are all entitled to our opinion. )

[one2many]

Falling Apart

We sure are RC and as we are both women who have lived with it, we both understand.

[techie]

Falling Apart

one2many;901577 wrote: Distance is all fine and good RG but no communication whatsoever is, in my opinion, serves no purpose.

Anyway....what the plan for tonight guys?

self loathing & some grilled steak. Hi guyz

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

well dish up the steaks and flush the self loathing--tis poison to the soul!!!

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Honey!!!:h

[one2many]

Falling Apart

techie;901606 wrote: self loathing & some grilled steak. Hi guyz

LMAO..steak sounds nice, not to sure on the other bit, I gave that up for lent.

I miss the weekend jams on here, we all used to get together and post songs all night long.....saved my ass from drinking many a night.

SK8 still waiting to see your laces....

I think a curry might be on the cards tonight, or fish and chips..or fried chicken or...

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

The only person I have hurt with my drinking is me, and anyone from my past has forgiven me long ago. In fact, my drinking has been in secret so really the only people who have known my issues is my dear friends from here. I have no agenda whatsoever in my opinions, other than just trying to help a friend. Its thats friends choice, of course, to make up their own mind on what to do.

So with that said, I think that 3 months is long enough for some kind of an answer, or even just a little tiny bit of a clue as to where things stand. There is an issue of plain old disrespect going on here. That seems pretty obvious. And its obvious from Sk8s posts he is being torn up over this. Sk8 had a good counselor. Your right, he should ask the professional what to do.


Just my two cents... thats all.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

I really sense some anger in your post OI...sorry to have upset you.:h

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

No R.C. Honestly NO anger at all. I love you really.

I guess I just get frusterated at Sk8s situation. Trying to be a friend, I just think he deserves some answers from his girlfriend. He is the father of her son, and yet she refuses to even acknowledge him. I dont think that is fair. I just hate seeing a friend tore up. Thats all. Perhaps your right and 3 months is not enough time, but in my eyes the time is due.

Thats all. Not angry... not at all.

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Mine is 6 months and I still don't have a straight answer but am not giving up hope