Falling Apart

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

not only are you blessed sk8...you are stong as hell.....if i didn;t have my family to be accountable to, i would be a wreck.....addiction wise.....
I am watching several hours of True Blood reruns and I am in heaven....
I have not seen Alice yet,....Johnny Depp is my future baby daddy...but this movie looks a little weird for me....

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Mama. I'm only strong because my son deserves a good sober dad. If it wasn't for him who knows.
Check out Alice wasn't weird. The visuals were really good. Tim Burton films are always unique.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hello everyone! I hope all my yankee friends here are waking up hangover free and with all their fingers. Another day off here. Not sure what I'm going to do today but I'm going to force myself to get out there. I like people watching. Always have. People fascinate me. I probably should have gone into sociology or something.
My GF did text me that my son liked fireworks. I thought that was nice of her. I guess she's realizing that those are the little things I'm missing and I care about those things.

[girly wirly]

Falling Apart

sk8... i'm liking the kind text from gf!

a little breakthrough maybe???....

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Don't know if its a breakthrough but maybe she's coming around a little.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;903344 wrote: Hello everyone! I hope all my yankee friends here are waking up hangover free and with all their fingers. Another day off here. Not sure what I'm going to do today but I'm going to force myself to get out there. I like people watching. Always have. People fascinate me. I probably should have gone into sociology or something.
My GF did text me that my son liked fireworks. I thought that was nice of her. I guess she's realizing that those are the little things I'm missing and I care about those things.

Right on SK8!!! I wouldn't read anymore into it than that!! Enjoy your people watching today. Engage in some conversation with a stranger too perhaps?? )

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

One step at a time RC.

[KateH1]

Falling Apart

You know Sk8, reading through your posts, I get the idea that you create a self impossed isolation. You don't like others labeling you, "tatooed skater" etc, yet you continuously label others. It is a bit confusing? I am also confused by your comments about "not getting the respect that you deserve"? Can you explain how you do not get the respect that you deserve? Do you think that you might possibly come off as defensive? People tend to be attracted to others who are like themselves with similar interests. It is not really about sizing people up at all. As the old saying goes, "If you want friends, you have to BE a friend". It is quite obvious from how you are here, that you can make friends and that people listen to what you have to say. Have you thought about how you can translate these skills into your every day life? Perhaps you can be more open in your thinking and labeling of others? You might be quite surprised!!

As for you GF, I was so happy to see that you decided against strong arming her into a decision that she is not read to make yet. No one likes to be backed into a corner and doing so, will never enrich a relationship.

I Truly wish you much happiness!
Kate

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Kate, I am a bit of a walking contrdiction these days. These are some of the issues I am dealing with. They are also the reasons I drank. Where I grew up (and where I'm at again) being the person I was was like going to war everytime I stepped out of my door. Name calling, fights, harassment, beatings. Through the years I have built up a strong sense of defensiveness. While things today have changed my wall can't come down in one day. I have forgiven things from my past and focus on today. Everyday a little of my wall comes down. But like I said you can't just erase years of conditioning. I'm trying.
As for the respect thing. That was a quote I saw somewhere that USED to be how I felt. Society doesn't owe me anything.
Trust me if you think I'm bad now you have no idea what I was like years ago. I'm not longer angry. I'm quite at peace with the world. Just trying to see where I fit in in the grande scheme of things. I just feel misunderstood, as most artisticly minded people do. It is a fact the world judges by appearence first. Yes I am guilty of this as well. But I will take the time to talk to someone no matter what they look like.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

What I was trying to say is the way I think I just don't except things at face value. I dig deeper. I always question things. That is just how I am.

[girly wirly]

Falling Apart

sk8... i've said this on my own thread today... rome wasn't built in a day, neither was our alcoholism. therefore it takes time to heal. alcohol comes with a boatload of other problems, thats why we drank in the first place. you've grown so much, as have i these past few weeks. we are getting help and helping ourselves. take it easy on yourself. one step at a time, one day at a time :l

[KateH1]

Falling Apart

SK8, I don't think you are bad at all.....I have never said not eluded to that! I do feel badly about the loneliness that you express. My comments were made only give give you some food for thought. Just remember, you cannot read other peoples minds nor know their motivation. Most adults are not trying to make life difficult for strangers, they are just trying to live as best they can!

xo Kate

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

You are right Girly. We are doing great and doing. That's the best we can do. Be ourselves and accept everything that goes along with that. Like I've said before life isn't perfect but I sure like it aalot better than I did when drinking. I like being out and about these days. Just wish I had a friend to do things with. But being alone isn't really that bad. Gives me time to think and that's what I need to do right now.
When drinking everyday was the same. It was liking running into a wall over and over. Now sober I've gotten over that wall and embrace the fact that everyday is what I make it. There is always something to be seen or done and most importantly something new to learn. That is life.

[Rusty]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8,

Just checking in to say, HELLO and to see how your 4th of July went yesterday? Did you see any particularly interesting people? I just identified spending too much time on the computer (I have to use the computer for my job and I work about 60 hours/week) so I am trying to do productive and fun things now that I'm on vacation.

Sk8, I think of you often, my artistic, athletic, tattooed (sp? is that a word, even?) cyberfriend.

I'll check in later. I'm getting my house ready as I am having guests tomorrow. I am actually enjoying the gardening and housework I've been doing....and I'm doing it AF and not hungover!

Take care,

xoxxoxo

Rusty

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Rusty, yesterday went alright. Watched some movies and enjoyed myself. Realized I've come a long way. Last 4th I was wasted. This 4th sober and functioning.
Didn't really see anyone interesting. I'm out again. I always check this site from my phone so usually I am out of the house when I'm here.LOL.