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Falling Apart

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    Falling Apart

    Well I'm happy to say I'm starting to get there. I'm starting to take pride in what I've accomplished so far. I've picked myself up, dusted myself off and changed my life. So here I am world take it or leave it. What you see is what you get. I'm me. I can't be anything else but that. I live for today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow doesn't exist.
    Strange how when I got sober I began to question everything about myself. Should I grow up, stop being me, get better clothes? Well you know what I found out? The clothes don't make the person, the person does. Grown up and punk are to me states of mind. I've met teens who think more like a adult then I do and I've met older peopler who still act like they are 18. I've met people who are punk as hell with how they think and don't even know it. I've met mohawked punks who might as well be selling insurance. See being grown up or punk is not a style of dress or even confined to a certain age. Yes I am responsible with things like my son and bills. I go to work everyday. I know right from wrong. That is grown up. I also look a little different than most people. I view things diffrently I don't take things at face value. I still question things. So see you can be both. Don't know why I didn't think it could be possible. On the subject of punk my son and all little kids are the punkest mf'ers out there. They do what they want when they want, they don't care about the rules and they don't care what the other kids look like. I love seeing that freedom in my son. It brings it out in myself. The father is learning to enjoy and live life from his son. Hopefully he never loses that spirt but if he does it will be my turn to teach him. Sometimes I think as adults we are to concerned with teaching our children instead of learning a great lesson from them. To busy saying don't you want to grow up big and strong like daddy? Instead of teachin them don't you want to be yourself. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up because one day you'll wish you were young again. One thing I started doing recently I'd thought I'd share with you is this....when ever I see someone staring at me with a disgusted or what the hell look on their face I say to myself in my head "what are you staring at weirdo" and you know what that does? It makes me laugh inside and before they know it I smiling at them. Why get mad or bothered like I used to?
    So what I'm trying to say is everyone be yourself and fuck the world if they don't like it. Because when its all said and done at the end of each day the only person you really have to answer to is that person in the mirror. And if you can look into your own eyes and be happy with what you did that day then good. But if you look in those eyes and say "why the hell did you...." then really think about it and make changes for yourself.
    Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

    Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
    No more bad future-Skull Skates

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      Falling Apart

      Good one Sk8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Patrice

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        Falling Apart

        GREAT post SK8! Love it xx
        "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

        AF 10th May 2010
        NF 12th May 2010

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          Falling Apart

          sk8punk;910501 wrote: .
          I love seeing that freedom in my son. It brings it out in myself. The father is learning to enjoy and live life from his son.
          My son has reminded me about the simple pleasures in life..looking at a spider, the mess made from baking, running in the rain, dancing and singing wherever, whenever.
          It's lovely isnt it SK8

          Another beautiful post.
          Be strong-
          We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
          Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

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            Falling Apart

            Good morning everyone! Hope your all doing good. Just gonna stay positive and roll with today. I'm glad you all liked that post. Wasn't sure after I posted how it would be taken. Sometimes I just need to rant. Seems like as soon as I write it down it sinks into my brain. Well off to work....
            Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

            Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
            No more bad future-Skull Skates

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              Falling Apart

              You're right Rebirth about all the things kids can teach us. I'm a big kid myself so I am loving it and taking it all in. I'm gonna stay young until I die.
              Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

              Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
              No more bad future-Skull Skates

              Comment


                Falling Apart

                Me too! Thats why people ask me if I am younger than my age cause I still question alot!
                Be strong-
                We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                Comment


                  Falling Apart

                  If you don't question you don't learn. It always surprises me how many people just accept things without asking why.only thing I don't question is nature. I mean look at me through this journey I questioned myself a lot until I got to the solution. I feel very at peace with myself and the world today. I've been here before in the journey but not like this. It feels good. I actually think I have a smile on my face.

                  Even being alone right now doesn't bother me. I feel as though at this time its meant to be this way. If I was meant to be with someone the powers that be would make it happen.
                  Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                  Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                  No more bad future-Skull Skates

                  Comment


                    Falling Apart

                    For the first time in my 99 days sober I can honestly say I feel free. I don't need a substance or another person to make me happy. All I need is me. It feels great to know that I alone control my attitude and my day. Today may be another breakthrough!
                    Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                    Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                    No more bad future-Skull Skates

                    Comment


                      Falling Apart

                      sk8punk;910988 wrote: For the first time in my 99 days sober I can honestly say I feel free. I don't need a substance or another person to make me happy. All I need is me. It feels great to know that I alone control my attitude and my day. Today may be another breakthrough!
                      That's GREAT SK8. I've got 61 days today. I hope that feeling you have is something I find along the path. I'm hopeful...techie
                      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                        Falling Apart

                        99 days!!! Oh I cant wait to get to mine! I am feeling good today too!
                        Be strong-
                        We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                        Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                        Comment


                          Falling Apart

                          You'll both get there just keep up the good work. Like I said Techie I've had this feeling before and lost it. But this time feels different. Kinda finally coming out of the dark. I know realize what people meant by focusing on myself. That's what I'm doing. Sure my worries about my relationship are still there but I can't change any of that. But me I can change.
                          Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                          Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                          No more bad future-Skull Skates

                          Comment


                            Falling Apart

                            One thing I do miss though is having someone to tell the stupid things that happen during the day. Things like that. Guess that's why I post here so much. Even though I'm not saying anything that happens cause it wouldn't make much sense. So yes I'm getting there but not quite yet.
                            Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                            Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                            No more bad future-Skull Skates

                            Comment


                              Falling Apart

                              In the midst of this good mood I'm in I still feel bad that I can't share this "new" me with my GF. I'm sure that's a normal feeling. I don't get down about her anymore. What will happen will happen. I know I'm doing the right things just gonna take time.
                              Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

                              Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
                              No more bad future-Skull Skates

                              Comment


                                Falling Apart

                                Hey sk8. How long have you been single? were you married?
                                Be strong-
                                We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                                Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                                Comment

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