Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I think that varies person to person Pie. What I meant by broken is when your life no longer revolves around alcohol or trying to stop drinking. Its when you go days without even thinking about it for a split second. Maybe broken was the wrong word. Like to day at lunch when my friends were sitting there drinking I wasn't thinking about it at all. Wasn't craving it or envious of them. If anything one of em startedd to annoy me cause after one drink he wouldn't shut up! LOL.
With me I NEVER liked the taste of what I drank. In fact I would drink the first one down as if it was medicine. Cause as we all know of a couple you really don't taste what your drinking anymore.

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

I also just drank in the mornings, weekends only. I never drank first thing in the week because of work.
But yes the craving does get less intense and not so frequent. I am having a bad time with my partner at the moment. On top of that I am missing my son ( thought I would). Not once have I thought of getting a bottle.Now that would have been an ideal situation to trigger me to automatically drink. I was told by you and many others that it would get easier..and you are right.

Infact I all I did today was purchase some herbal medicines today. Ha! I was actuelly comtemplating as to whether I should drink Rescue Remedy from Bachs as it contains alcohol. It tastes very strongly of alcohol.....not sure about that one

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Its nearly midnight.
I enjoyed my dvd tonight. In one scene the actor contemplates life and says:

"You know what really makes it worthwhile...it's been those few times when I have really connected with a human being"

That really touched me because it goes back to the conversation we had about sense of purpose. You have that with your son because you have a strong connection with him. Isn't that special.

Oh damn. Now I REALLY miss my son!
Night SK8

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Glad you liked the movie Rebirth. Yeah when you connect with someone it is great. The connection between me and my son is strong. Sometimes I swear I know what he's thinking by his eyes or facial expression. No matter what I am I'm just dad to him. Sure some day he'll think its cool I skate and play guitar and then later I'm sure I'll embarrass him. Ah the joys of parenting

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Havin one of my scatterbrain mornings. Oh well whatcha gonna do? I'm doing good got counseling today. Curious to see her take on my self esteem

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Yeah Reggie I do love being a dad. Well in my scatterbrain morning I forgot to take my med. So I had to take it when I got home. Still had a decent day. Not up or down just kinda in the middle. Gotta wrap Aarons presents for Saturday. I'll do that tommorrow. Yeah I know exciting Friday night way to live it up. LOL. I do want to stop and pick him up something else.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey... I happen to think that wrapping your adorables sons presents on a Friday night is a real cool way to spend the night

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Hi sk8,
Is it Aaron's birthday tomorrow? I am gonna go to an AA meeting tonight ...maybe the gym if I feel energetic.
Hi Overit

[Panno]

Falling Apart

Hi sk8 I know I don't post on your thread but I do love Reading your progress - anyway yesterday you popped into my mind - I'm on holiday and was in a small town having a latte when 4 or 5 young skateboarders came riding through all laughing and having fun - it's funny cause you were the first person who sprang to mind - what a powerful site this is - hope your having a good day and I'm sure you will have a great day with your little boy tomorrow - wishing him a ver happy birthday for tomorrow

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Good morning Over, Rebirth and Panno. Oh I miss those days skating in a pack down the sidewalk. Haha those were the days. Well I'm back to myself this morning not scatterbrained at all. Aarons birthday is on the 28th but we're celebrating it tomorrow since I won't see him on the actual day.
Well gotta head out to work. I'll check in later.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

This place is dead today. Well I looked at the online dating thing again. Not for me. Its sad that there are so many lonely people out there. Even more sad is that none of them really intrested me. I think there were maybe 3 that I could get along with but they all lived out of state. I'm not sayin they have to look or be into all the things I am. I'm just looking for someone I'm physically attracted to that is open minded enough to accept me for who I am. Oh well no real big deal. I honestly think when and if the time is right a opportunity will present itself. I'm not ready for anything now anyway.

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Hi SK8,
How is your friday evening? I just got back from an AA meeting. Ate a big bowl of pasta

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Usual Friday here Rebirth. Rented some movies, picked up a few more things for Aaron and I got to wrap his stuff. So basically nothing really. Being sober is deadly awesome but my bummer summer continues.

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

hey you and I both. So the online dating was no good? I tried a few a while back

[KateH1]

Falling Apart

SK8, Have a nice evening tonight and tons of fun wrapping your gifts for Aaron! And, enjoy your wonderful Father/Son Birthday Celebration tomorrow!! You two will be creating such fun and special memories! Take lots of photos!

xo Kate