Falling Apart

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Taking Aaron home now. Had a great day with him. He's already sleeping and I'm beat. It was the hottest day yet this summer but that didn't stop him one bit. Of course he is allowed to just run around in a diaper. Now if I tried running around in my boxers....... Still nothing has changed with his mom. No communication at all. Don't even know what she got him for his bday or when his party is. Oh well I'm doing what I can to be a good dad. Honestly I do believe she may have some issues as well. I don't see how someone who supposedly loved me can just shut me off like that. anyway hope you all had a great saturady.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Ok my experimentation with online dating is officially done. I'll admit I'm not ready for a relationship at all. So why did I do it? Curiosity. Just wanted to see what the singles in the area are like. I know I'm a little off center but on the site (Match) I feel like a complete alien. 98% of the girls photos look like they were taken at the prom or a wedding. Then when asked about hot spots nearly all mention Italy or somewhere else in Europe. Hell i'd be happy to get to the wave pool this summer. Don't know most want a rich man. That I am not at least rich with money. So I'm done. Just gonna spend sometime on my own and with my son. I mean this to be funny, not sure if that comes across in writting but I am serious that I'm over it. Anyone else that has opinions on this i'd love to hear them.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8,

Glad you had a good day with Aaron. I think your smart to avoid the online dating thing as well. I dont think you have the patience for it really, LOL.

It took me a long time and many bad dates to figure out just how difficult it is to find somebody compatable over the internet, and I consider myself just an average type nice kind of girl. For the life of me, bad date, after bad date, and most of them were liers anyways. Or cheaters!

People who get lucky on their first shots with internet dating are indeed lucky. I've had to kiss alot of frogs to just get to the one nice person who likes me. Its a true dating jungle out there.

And your right. I can tell so many of the women are looking to somebody to use or with money. The nice girls I bet (maybe Im wrong) are few and far between.

This is how its been for me in Florida. Are the nice people all up North????

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks Over at least I know its not me then. Umm no nice people up north either. Here's my theory, most people are like you and me. We're actually trying to use the servicr for what its for not to find a financial supporter. People like us get fed up with it quick. Its not for me. And. What's weird is I felt unfaithful even looking but not to my ex girlfriend but my son. Weird huh.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Still alive here just didn't do my usual morning post. No I'm not drinking and no I didn't suddenly get a life. No Sunday blues today. Did my usual routine today. Nothing really exciting. Did feel a bit more "weird" today while at the grocery store with everyone else in their sunday best. LOL. In a really strange way it feels good to be outside the norm. But it also kinda sucks.

[KatieB]

Falling Apart

sk8punk;919199 wrote: . What's weird is I felt unfaithful even looking but not to my ex girlfriend but my son. Weird huh.

Hi Sk8punk,
I just thought I would quote you on this, because I felt exactly the same when I started dating again! I felt guilty, like I was "betraying" my son for looking for another man, not his father! It seems silly, as there was no hope for me or his Dad.. and I am the adult! lol.. but its definately worked out for the best for me.. internet dating is not for everyone, but i found a true gem, who i dont know where i would be without.. since meeting him i have given up AL AND cigs!
I wish you the best on your journey.. your son is a real cutie!
xxx

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Katie,

Thanks....I think he gets his looks from his mom. I'm glad someone else felt like that to. But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be own my own for awhile. No big deal. I just don't seem to attract the interest of anyone. And I can't figure out why.........just kiddin I'm not what alot of girls are looking for.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Morning everyone. Its Monday and it feels like it. In a good mood just don't want to be at work. At a strange place in my life here. While I am interested in meeting new people I'm not really sure what I want at this point. So I'm not really forcing the issue. Once again I'm leaving it up to fate. If I click with someonne I will know it. I'm not going to go out with someone just to go out. I'm not a user and never have been which I suppose is a good thing. Funny how the people I interested in aren't interested in me and vice versa. Strange ride life is.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Well I get to see Aaron Saturday and Sunday this week cause they are going on vaction the weekend after this one. That's gonna be three weeks without seeing him and I'm not gonna lie its gonna be rough. Thank god I have so many sober days behind me now. If ever there could be a time where my strenght waivers it will be when he's gone and I don't see him. I'm gonna make some plans of my own to keep me busy during that time. Maybe just jump in the car and drive, go somewhere I've never been before.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thank god Monday is over. Not a bad day but not great either. Kinda tired today. I should hit the rack early tonite.
One last thing about the online dating. It is not a place to go if you want to build your self esteem. Especially someone like me. Either I'm completely screwed up or society is. Maybe its a little of both. I realize I belong to a subculture but wow. If you don't like sports then don't bother living in this town. Apparently all everyone does is watch sports and go to bars. Jeez I feel like more of a outsider than ever before. Maybe I have to much "stick to your guns" mentality in me. I'll bend a little but I'm not gonna break who I am just for a date. There's gotta be someone out there for me. But they're not on the internet. When the time is right I'm sure I'll meet her. Just hope I'm at the right place at the right ttime.

Oh and please remember the views and opinions in this post are solely mine and do not reflect the rest of the alcohol free community.

[one2many]

Falling Apart

Hiya K8.

Whats for ya will not pass you by....I honestly believe that, your time will come...

Cool pic of you and Aaron by the way! x

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Oney how the hell have you been? I don't spend as much time on here as I used to. Yeah that boy of mine is trying to shove a walnut shell in his dear old dads ear. Then a few seconds later he stole my sunglasses and put them on. I should post that pic up too. He's got the perfect "too cool for school" look on his face.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8!! Thanks for the new smiley pic. You look great and I was wondering what the lad was up to. lol I think that's a fabulous idea to go on a road trip if you can take some time while your son is absent from you physically. But we know never from your heart. Hey Canada isn't too far. My house is pet friendly too. )

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Hi SK8,
In my personal opinion I would forget internet dating for a while. I dont think you are ready and secondly the majority of people on there are liars. The whole thing is so staged and superficial in my opinion (sorry to the folks who met genuiene people this way). You say that the women are only after money, well most of the men were only after a bit of fun. They pretended to want a relationship. and as soon as they got me into bed, I was dumped! (NOT because of my bedroom skills!). They got bored and moved onto their next conquest.I was just another number to them.Ugh!Makes me shiver how I was so used.
I met my partner through work..The good old fashioned way is the best way I reckon. It took me three years so dont despair!

I think travelling when you son is away is a good idea. My son has been gone two weeks and I am already aching for him.I still have another 4 weeks without him! I am so glad that I booked myself a holiday. I am leaving for India this sunday for just over two weeks. At least I now have something else to focus on!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey RC and Rebirth! Yeah not sure where I'm gonna go but I'll figure something out. Oh I'd love to head up to Canada but in this post 9/11 world you need a passport which I don't have.
Yeah I kinda sensed that about the dating site. Funny how all the girls avoid me because of the tattoos yet I'm probably the most geniune person on there. The good old fashioned way seems the best way to go. When its gonna happen it'll happen.
Well hope everyone has a good day. I'll check in later.