Falling Apart

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Oh K-9... You are just the sweetest girl ever. I am doing fine at the moment. I have been lurking just a bit, but I have been around. Been drinking some. Not alot and no major drama or anything. Just kinda in a funk perhaps.

Hey Sk8. Well, the guy I had hoped was Mr. Wonderful is showing flaws. I know we all have flaws and in the beginning its hard to see them. I can accept alot of flaws in somebody, but not something major.

Me and my son were over at his house last night. He has only been around my son once before. We walked in and he was acting like he was having a panic attack or something weird. I asked him whats wrong? ANd he tells me that little kids make him nervous. I said "Well, I got one!"

He is showing no interest in my son, and even freaked out when my son accidentally spashed his dog in the pool. Like way over the top freak out over it. Im thinking, "whats the big fucking deal? My son splashed your dog (dog looked like he loved it)"

This guy has never had children and has never been around children before. I think he likes the Mom, but not really into this whole package deal. Im not sure yet, but thats how it seems. Will keep you posted.

So.... hows you all doing????

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey Over! Glad everything is going alright.

Yeah that would be a major flaw. Did he just develop this "nervousness" around little kids? I can say as a guy before I had my son that I had to make the effort to love my ex's two boys. I know that sounds awful but I think you understand what I'm saying. Guys tend to forget that the children came from the woman we are in love with and dwell on the fact they are another mans. The male ego can destroy you unless you make yourself aware of it. I am happy to say noe that I have my son I don't think like that. It's all a part of personal growth. I now expect any girl I'm get involved with to accept my son. For all I know girls can think exactly like what I said above.

Well I'm doing alright. Still not sure if this online dating thing is for me. Its seems very shallow and materialistic despite what everyone writes in their profile. Then again perhaps I'm ugly lol. I got major strikes against me with a son and alot of tattoos. I do know the universe has something planned for me but I don't know if thats the path its going to be found on.

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi OI! Glad you're okay, my worrywart side came out when I didn't see you for a couple days! LOL

Ah, the internet dating thing...yes I've tried that too. I've also done "speed dating"...I don't even know why I bother, I guess at some point I thought I'd like to be in a relationship, but right now, I am happy the way things are. Maybe when I turn 40 I'll give it another shot. lol

Anyway, Sk8 and OI, you're both great people and when the time comes it will happen and it will have been worth the wait! I'm glad you both have your priorities straight, kid comes first! That does make it hard to date though...

Ok, guess I better get to work, although I really don't want to. I'll check in later. Have a great day

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey K9! My son is definatly my priority. I don't think this online dating thing is going to amount to anything but I'm glad I gave it a shot. You are right, when things are meant to happen they will. which is a good thing cause it varies day to day on how I feel about being in a relationship. I'm in a good place myself. Maybe a little more time to learn more about myself.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8 and K-9,

You know, Im really glad I know you both . You are both wonderful people. Yes, I mean that.

I've been dabbling back into the drinking. Quickly realizing its NOT the way to go. Ill get there. I was much happier sober, and I know it. Not sure if I am going to do the Antabuse route though. It was a pretty good experience taking it, but I think this time Im going to have to do it on my own.

Anyways, I laid it on the line last night with the guy I am dating.

I said "if you think you will not be able to accept my son, then I need to move on". It was actually a good honest talk. I understand that someone without children is going to be a huge adjustment for them. But on the other hand, why email a lady with a young child???

So, we agreed to take it a step at a time and see what happens. Sad to say, but in my heart I do not think he is father material. He seems to have anxiety issues, and as both you know, kids can create alot of anxiety at times! So.. time will tell.

Yes, IT IS all about whats best for our kids. Sometimes as the parents we may not like that we dont get what we want, but in the long run, its all about what is best for our babies. They will always be number one.

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

over it!!! where have you been sister.
Hey sk8!!
i have been posting elsewhere alot, but wanted to pop in and say hi!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey everyone,

Good for you Over. It won't work if he can't accept and at least like your son. Like I said its most likely a male ego thing with him.

Another saturday I don't see Aaron. I'm doing alright though. Realized I still got some things I gotta sort out in my head. I know I'll never be perfect but I'm still questioning things. When things are meant to happen they will. But right now I got to get on living my life on my own.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8,

Its good to see you posting. Im sorry you dont get to see Aaron this week.

I totally understand what you just said about needing to sort things out in your head. That is the EXACT same place I am at mentally as well. Im starting to think I am going about this whole relationship stuff all wrong. Its very possible Im not even ready for a relationship at all!

Im glad we have this place to sort some of this stuff out. Its also comforting to know that we all go through some of the same feelings, that we are not perfect, and that we all deep down really want to be better people, parents, and have better lives.

But one more thing Sk8. I know times may be very difficult for you, but you are so blessed to be doing all this sober. So many of us are still struggling with the madness. Sobriety is a very precious thing and you are so blessed to have it!

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

I know it Over. Don't know how I did it but I don't even think about drinking anymore. It really is just like it is not a option anymore. Funny story...I'm a caffine junkie now and the local store had a special on Rockstar energy cola. Well I'm a sucker for a bargin..lol.so I open one up and start drinking it and think to myself "wow this taste a lot like rum and coke". I didn't panic it didn't trigger anything and I wasn't jonesing for another when it was gone. I can't do that with real rum and coke and I know that. Basically I'm done with booze.

I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship either. I do like meeting new people but I'm taking my time. Just letting things happen if they're meant to.

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi Kids!

I was out for 4 days with a lung infection...ugh! Missed Thursday and Friday of work and never bothered to log in all weekend...so I'm just now catching up with the boards.

OI and Sk8, you both sound good. Sorry to hear you're still struggling OI, you will "get it" soon, you already laid the groundwork and know what's best for you. I am still taking AB, I just feel more confident on it.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!
K9

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh K9 that sucks hope you're feeling better. Doing alright here. Had it out with my mum this morning so I feel like I'm 16 again. The whole thing was over Aaron. He got back Saturday (I think) and she wanted to go get him. I'd love to see him but I know my ex and you can't just spring stuff on her. Well my mum doesn't get that and started calling me self centered and that I'm not the only person in the world with problems. I told her not to speak to me for the rest of the day and walked away. Where that came from is beyond me. Never once have I thought I'm the only one with problems. As for the self centered part sadly right now I might be a little because I have to be to get my head straightened out. Really her and I have never gotten along that great. She doesn't get me and I don't get her.

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Sorry to hear about your problems with your mom Sk8! I can identify to that too. I love my mom to death, but our lives are SO different that we don't have much in common. She's so sweet and loving (so is my dad), but they just can't identify with my "lifestyle" (so they say). So to keep the peace, we just stay on shallow, neutral grounds. Makes me sad because I don't really KNOW them
Anyways, I hope it all works out with your mom, I'm sure it will blow over soon...these things usually do.
Have a great day

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Oh it will. Doesn't really bother me. Me and my dad get along great. My mom sounds alot like your parents. She doesn't approve of my "lifestyle". Its so funny cause I don't think like that at all. I don't judge on lifestyles but on the people themselves.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8 and K-9, (mama too?)

Just wanted to pop in and say HI to a couple of my favorite peeps. I hope all is well in both your worlds today.

Just dropped my son off for his first day of 1st grade! Im using this change as an opportunity to get my own ass back in gear, been slipping up pretty bad, but today is a new day, and a perfect day for change.

K-9, Im really proud of how you have stuck with the Antabuse. I really wish I would have stuck with it longer, but I did get my 44 days or something. I may go back on it, not really sure. Dont ever think you are missing out on anything with the drinking, you most certainly are NOT. Im really really proud of you sticking it out. Im proud of you too Sk8!!!

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8er...where ya at? Haven't seen you today.... Hope all is well!