Falling Apart

[Guitarista]

Falling Apart

Congrat's on 5 month's SK8! That's a huge achievement, and you should be very proud.

Our sobriety takes work, and patience. We have to turn our lives and old routines, often friendship's, and most of all our thinking, upside down, and really shake things up. But at our own pace, and as long as we are moving forward, and doing the work. (I know you know all of this.) For me, i alway's have to focus on the fact i've had the gut's to do something great for myself, like you are, and i focus on the joy of my journey, not the crappy part's, or the void's that are often left when we stop drinking, so getting out there and involved in what's around us is important, i think, even just a bit. Something regular that makes us feel good. And as me mate Picasso say's, 'when you don't want to paint, paint'. (Or is that skate?) A.A. have something called H.A.L.T. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, as something to be wary of. Be ruthless with your sobriety, and hang onto it for all your worth. Gratitude thinking, vs. Deprivation thinking. I'm a nosy fecker, i know!

Freedom, Clarity, Pride.
Feel your AF power, bro'! Bravo on 5 month's!

Best wishes, G-bloke.

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

sk8, congrats on your 5 months sober. This is such an incredible journey of ups and downs and change. And learning to deal with up and down emotions rather than just trying to level it all out with substance. I'm glad the down mood has lifted for today!

One thing that I have found helpful is to "get out of myself" through volunteer work. I don't know if you have time or interest, but helping others gives me so much joy. For me it's become an important part of building a meaningful life of my own that does not depend on anyone else. (especially because I am married, it is easy to tie all my happiness to my relationship with my husband. I don't think it's ever good to tie our happiness ONLY to a partner)

Whether it's that or other stuff, I hope you are able to build a gratifying life for yourself that does not depend on having a siginificant other. LOL, when you achieve that satisfaction on your own, that's when a well qualified "other" will probably show up! :H

Listen to G-Man. He knows what he is talking about.

Have a great day. Are you seeing your son this weekend?

DG

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8! Congratulations on your 5 months sobriety!! Sorry I overlooked that the other day.(my bad)

[angel77]

Falling Apart

Hi Sk8. Just wanted to congratulate you for your five months of sobriety. I think it is so fantastic. I bet it took a lot of will power!! Send some my way if you can! haha

Angel

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hey everyone thanks for all the support and advice. Very goo advice too. Sorry to hear about your slip K9. But you seem to have the right attitude and got right back on track. One thing I know for sure is I refuse to drink again. No matter how down I get I know for a fact alcohol isn't going to help. I guess I'm very strong willed there. Oh Rebirth by anniversary I meant my sober date. Seems lately around that day I just hit a rut. I'm getting used to having up and down days now. Still beat myself up from time to time but really that's as useful as drinking.

[Cinders]

Falling Apart

Seems lately around that day I just hit a rut. I'm getting used to having up and down days now. Still beat myself up from time to time but really that's as useful as drinking.

Isn't that the truth?

There is no usefulness in drinking, only peril for those of us who can't drink. It may or it may not bite us the first time we drink, but it will bite us eventually. It really will.

You are on track SK8punk.

Stay there.

Love,
Cindi

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Thanks again everyone. I really wish I could tell you all how i quit drinking and never looked back. The few cravings I've had last only seconds before they are pushed out of my head. The best way I could put it is I destroyed that part of me. Its who I was not who I am. I will not let myself be defined by who I was. Simply put I've seen myself at my worst and I never want to see that again. Unfortunatly there are those that probably always see me as that.

I'm not sure if I ever shared this...I don't remember exactly how old Aaron was. It had to be before he was 6 months old. Anyway he was diagnoised with a kidney infection. One of his pee tubes (yep medical term lol) had a faulty valve that allowed urine to back up into his kidney. They said this was common but had to be observed...it sometimes corrects itself but worst case scenerio he would have to have surgery to correct it. He is on medication and so far so good. Well his mom text me today to say that he has his annual scan October 12. I asked if I could be there for Aaron....her response...my mom is going with me. Yes sucks...like I said there are always going to be people who choose to remember me for who I was not what I've become.

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8~just read your post re:Aaron's medical appt. It seems to me, it may be time to take legal action for more equitable visitation and involvement with Aaron. You've have remained sober and kept up your payments and you DO deserve to be co-parenting him if that I your desire. Sorry, I am posting on the run, but wanted you to know I feel badly and enough time has passed that you may not want to wait until too much time has passed. RC

[Ringing Cedars]

Falling Apart

You have also shown responsibility for you actions by commitment to counselling!!
All the best with this Sk8 and I hope Aaron's results are very positive.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

It may have to come to that but honestly i'd rather avoid that if possible. I have come a long way. If I look back on it I'm amazed myself. Today is beautiful here so I went out to skate and the just enjoy being outside. As I sat there I realized how and maybe for the first time at peace I am with myself and the world. As silly as it sounds coming from me but I felt very in touch with nature and very content. This a million miles away from the person who started this thread and the actual feelings are so hard to put into words.

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8. Thats a great feeling you are sharing. It sounds perfect. I have perfect moments like that sometimes. They dont happen alot but I cherish them when I get them. I imagine this is how I would feel permanently if I got my head sorted out...

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Hey Sk8, R.C., Rebirth!

Been a little busier with my son in school, but Im still around. You couldnt get rid of me if you tried.

Sk8, I know those moments of clarity your talking about. They just kind of come at least expected moments huh. I love those moments. The best way I can describe them is just a feeling of peace washes over me, and I just know in my heart, that everything is just going to be alright. Call them spiritual awakenings or simply just growth. Your definately not the man who started this journey and your journey has just begun! Your definately on the right path.

Rebirth, that is a great new picture of you. Your a really beautiful girl. I hope everything is going well in your world!

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Over you are too sweet.
I think Peace is the perfect word for those moments. I took my son to Disneyland and he was scared of the disney charactors! After all that effort...kids eh. I cant live without mine thats for sure

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Hahahaha those characters still freak me out too!!

Those peaceful moments are always to short. Feelin alright today...dealing with the usually crap I always do...lonliness and feeling out of place. Actually the feeling out of place I tend to embrace now because thats just who I am. I'm me I'm a little unconventional true but I'm really fine with it. I think the lonliness is what causes that feeling. But hey I know somewhere out there is someone who will get me. Hope your all doing good today. Keep up the good fight.

[sk8punk]

Falling Apart

Here's one I call "One Of Those Days" lol...I took this last night...