Falling Apart

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Yes, I am Here!!! Thank you so much for missing me you sweeties you.

Yes, I was having some computer problems for about two weeks, but things are back up and running

Been doing "ok". Stopped taking my Antabuse about two weeks ago, and drank after a week off of it. Now at a crossroads with trying to figure out yet again, best way to deal with my little "problem". I would really love to do this without the Antabuse, BUT... sigh.... I will get on it again as needed.

You people who get sober Antabuse free are kind of a mystery to me.... ALthough there was one month this year, when I was in love with some guy, so I stayed sober and starry eyed on my own. Its a little frusterating to feel like Antabuse is my only hope. I wish I could do it on my own again....

Love you guys. I will be around more.... I NEED TO BE!!!!


P.S. Im am sure that Sk8 is just fine.... If you read this Sk8, remember everyone here wishes you the very BEST always!

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Good to "see " you again Over! I am doing it Antabuse free because I hit rock bottom after trying to moderate for just over a year. My BF screamed the truth at me one weekend. He told me that I was an embarassment to be out with, that I am an alcoholic ( he never said that A word before to me, just said I had a bit of a drink problem). Hearing those words from him shocked me so much that I lost the desire to drink that night. I hated alcohol and its hold on me. Just like that.

That hatred is still with me and I keep it burning by being with other people who hate it too.
It does leave me sometimes though.. But yes it's still a mystery that I am not drinking without the help of drugs.

Maybe you have not hit rock bottom as yet?

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

But I dont know how it all works. It's all a mystery to me still

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

I must say..I do love techi's avatar. It's wicked.

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

rebirth, it's a mystery to me too in many ways. After I relapsed, I just could not seem to get back on the wagon for more than a couple days at a time. That went on for 8 months! I didn't understand how I could be following the same protocol (MWO program without prescription meds) and NOT be able to do what I WAS able to do on the same program for 60 days AF.

And I am still not sure exactly what happened that allowed me to get AF again. That is really a mystery. What I DO know is that I never want to go through that struggle to get AF ever again. I'm afraid I won't be able to GET AF again if I drink.

Overit, I know quite a few people in AA who took Antabuse to get going, and then eventually stopped it, and have successfully stayed AF. One thing they all have in common is that they started working the AA program which basically means they were doing a lot of self examination and working on personal growth. Is there a personal growth type program you have worked with when you were AF with Antabuse? In the Monthly Abs section, there is one that Sheri is working on that seems like a solid program to me. Maybe something like that would help? I'm also wondering what would happen if you stayed on Antabuse longer than you have to date? Just some random thoughts - might be total BS.

Hi Sk8. Hope life is good out there. How's your son?

DG

[Choochie]

Falling Apart

Sk8,

I would just think hard before going on antidepressants! If you have time to visit Dr. Joseph Mercola's website, he talks about the negatives and how they actually create problems............kind of like the way we think alcohol helps us when in fact it creates many of the things that are wrong -- like making us anxious when we think it's relaxing us!!

[wannachange]

Falling Apart

Hello Sk8, good to see you again, I have not been on for a while but I do think of you guys often, life is moving slowly for me but moving in the right direction so that's a good thing, how are things with you? I did not read back as I am sure there are lots of posts, I will do it one day but I do notice the post above this has antidepressants mentioned in it, are you taking them? thinking of taking them? I took them for a while, then I stopped. Oh boy stopping was tough cause after a week or two I shot back down close to where I was but got through it in one sober piece but it did take a few weeks, I do recommend them if you are feeling down, it takes a few weeks to really kick in but I am a strange one, I felt happy with no reason to feel happy so I felt I was cheating myself, now I am just naturally happy now taking it in my stride.
No movement on the ex side, not even sure if I want that now, a lot has passed... anyhow good to be here, I will check in on you all again soon.

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

Thank you for the responses Rebirth and Doggygirl! The more information and advice I can get truly helps!!! I feel like such a broken record most times...going round and round.

I dont want to highjack Sk8's thread (where are you Sk8?) But wanted to thank you both the the input. I am going to be around here much more and posting more as well.

Doggygirl, great advice on the Antabuse. Perhaps what I need to do is get back on it again like I did last time. I have went two times now a month. Maybe next time set a goal of TWO months.... And go from there..

Right now I have a total of maybe 5 drinking days in around 6 weeks? Definately PROGRESS but I know I can do better.

Love you guys!

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Hi Everyone!
Glad to have you back OI! You know we miss you when you are gone!!! I'm sure Sk8 is ok, I know he checks in from time to time.

OI- I am still taking Antabuse, I am taking it every other day, then next week I will be taking it every third day. So how are you doing with your drinking, off and on? Keep us posted, we care about you!!! :l

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

K9 what a sweet avatar!!Love the little tails

[Doggygirl]

Falling Apart

rebirth;976077 wrote: K9 what a sweet avatar!!Love the little tails

Ditto that K9!!

Keep pluggin' away OI. Most of us need way more than 1 try before we figure it out.

DG

[mama bear]

Falling Apart

oi....just started anty as you know and my initial goal is 30 days....then 60 days...then let's see....

[rebirth]

Falling Apart

Come on Mama! You can do 30! I am routing for yah!

[K9Lover]

Falling Apart

Yay Mama! When did you start, and how do you feel so far?

[OverIt2007]

Falling Apart

GO MAMA!!!! As you know I am really PROUD of you!!! At LEAST 30 days for you.... you can do it!

Thank you Guys for accepting me just as I am... I know I may frusterate you all at times, Heck trust me... I frusterate myself!!!!

The thing is... When I look at the big picture.... There has been some progress on my part. Of course I know I can do better! This year I tried something new, the Antabuse, and it worked pretty well! I know its there when I need it, and thats a great thing! I may go on it again, and very soon. Trying to figure it all out at the moment. Honestly would really really like to do this without it, if I CAN.

I really want to try to be a big girl and get my life squared around. I know I can do it.. and I have this place and all you for support. So...thank you for being there. I'll always try to be there for you all too... whenever you need it!

Have a great day Guys! Love you!