Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

[KatieB]

Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

Thank you all so so much for your support,
I have read each and everyone one of your kind messages, and will take all on board.. I will ensure I dont give my ex any ammunition and remain AF.. I am feeling much stronger this week.. last week I was in a bit of a state over it all - especially as I was the one being "attacked" in court - my ex didnt even get to say anything about the night - my "dirty laundry" was aired out - but luckily it was a small courtroom so there was'nt many people to hear it all - the judge did point out my vulnerability and that I should not put myself in vulnerable situations.. I think she believed me or she would not have awarded another AVO against my ex for another year - but she could not prove it "beyond reasonable doubt" - thanks to my history of self-harm and the fact AL was involved that night (everyone, not just me).. BUT I feel I have learnt heaps, and have come out of this a stronger person - plus my ex has lost me and my son as a family forever - he is devastated by this and has said he wants me back repeatedly - but he knows thats NEVER going to happen now.. not just b/c he assaulted me so badly - but the fact he was supposed to protect me AND rather than 'fess up to his actions, he put me through the gruelling process of a trial of using my history of self-harm as defence, which is disgusting.. I dont hate him though, I pity him - I cannot see him having a good life as he is a "snake" (thats what the police prosecutor described him as afterwards) - I have seen his true colours..
I know I can improve as I have insight, my ex does not seem to have any insight into the way he is..
I just have to concentrate on me and my son, and hopefully I will still get some victims compensation - plus my ex feels guilty so has been sending me money - money is not everything i know, but its a small way of going towards my sense of justice..
thank you all again, love you all
Katie xxx

[Rags]

Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

Hi Katie,
There's not much for me to add, as everyone has covered it all.

Wonderful that you have a lovely unit. You also have your son with you, and a future to look forward to. Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, and as you say... "look ahead with hope"

:h :h :h

[KatieB]

Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

Rags;867598 wrote: Hi Katie,
There's not much for me to add, as everyone has covered it all.

Wonderful that you have a lovely unit. You also have your son with you, and a future to look forward to. Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, and as you say... "look ahead with hope"

:h :h :h

Thank you Rags,
Katie x

[dancingon]

Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

Hi KatieB

I'm at work so haven't time to read all the posts. Did you even get a chance to say that you had been AF for so many days and that you were trying a programme to change?
Hope you're feeling stronger now. Don't give up. Having your little boy live with you is great motivation, and it doesn't sound like your ex is any kind of great role model himself, so you have a good case for keeping him.

[KatieB]

Hey Everyone, I'm back.. from hell (literally..)

dancingon;867626 wrote: Hi KatieB

I'm at work so haven't time to read all the posts. Did you even get a chance to say that you had been AF for so many days and that you were trying a programme to change?
Hope you're feeling stronger now. Don't give up. Having your little boy live with you is great motivation, and it doesn't sound like your ex is any kind of great role model himself, so you have a good case for keeping him.

dancingon;
yes, the police prosecutor (who was on my side) stated clearly that I had no psych consult in the hospital when I was being treated for the assault (as I had every time I had self-harmed) plus he made clear I was seeing a drug and alcohol counsellor for 18 months and have been responding to treatment,
the magistrate still could not prove "beyond reasonable doubt" - in other words, she has to be 100% certain - which is very annoying as the Australian justice system obviously sides to the criminals (what about not being 100% certain that he DIDN'T do it ).. i reassure myself though that even if he was found guilty he would have gotten a tiny penalty, as Mazzie said, anyway..
I have also been watching the news, the Indian plane crash, and the fact ppl get shot down dead for no reason in society, and they never get to see justice served, whatever the outcome.. at least I can move on with my life now the court case is behind me.. if my ex ever does something wrong again, he would not have a leg to stand on..