Angry and depressed

[KatieB]

Hi all,
I have been really trying to gather my thoughts over the past week after the court case.. I feel so angry that my ex got away with beating me up!
And now he threatens to take my son off me all the time, even though I am not drinking..
I feel so depressed.. I dont know what the future holds for me (who does??) - am I always going to have problems in my relationships? I still feel anxious around people, think everyone hates me.. finding it hard coping with my son on my own all day long, then dealing with work and patients being cruel.. not sure I want to be in this world much longer..

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Angry and depressed

Oh Katie honey dont ever say that. You are a lovely person and your son needs his mum. I know it must be hard but you cant give up :l

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Angry and depressed

I am not a good mixer in the real world either and I know I hid in a bottle but I feel more confident now after the time spent here with people. I am sure you will feel the same in time.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Angry and depressed

Is there no one locally you can talk to and share your feelings? And how about childcare even for a couple of hours, giving you some time for yourself?

[Guest]

Angry and depressed

Do you have to live in Sydney? I was there years ago and didn't like it. Too big, too fast and too uncaring. Maybe a small country town would be better...like Noosa.
You are the Captain and your duty is to look after the ship. Including yourself.

[Panno]

Angry and depressed

Hey Katie you can't give up now, you have been so strong, don't let him beat your mind up like he did physically. You know he is playing mental games with you, he might have won this battle but don't let him win the war. Not everyone hates you Katie thats just your mind working on over-drive, we all love you and will help you through big big hugs :l

[Guest]

Angry and depressed

Didn't mean that to sound so blunt Katie. Don't take it amiss...I wish you all the best as I'm sure everyone here does. If I can help please let me know how.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Angry and depressed

Katie talk to us, please.

[Sweaty Betty]

Angry and depressed

Katie, go back and read your first posts. I think you were in a similar place then, but became much more positive. There has been a huge amount of anticipation around the court case, and its very understandable that you are feeling how you are.

That being said, you are starting a new life for yourself, you have a new apartment, and there is a positive outlook in there somewhere.

Let the dust settle, take good care of yourself and your son, stick around here. Try not to rise to any baiting by your ex or his family, be careful around facebook etc. Imagine yourself a little ways into the future, looking back onto this horrible time, but knowing that you will come through it and find a new life for yourself and your boy.

Love from Bettsx

[greeneyes]

Angry and depressed

Katie, sometimes things happen that on the surface, seem wrong or unfair to us. But underneath or in the greater scheme of things, the outcome was part of a larger picture yet to play out. Please have faith. I and many others here, have faith in YOU and your ability to weather the storm. Remember that people can manipulate you only to the extent that you allow it. Curtail your conversations with your ex. He is like a parasite to your lovely energy. Sending you hope, strength and faith. :l

[hippie37]

Angry and depressed

Katie you have every right in the world to feel angry, hurt and sad after suffering such a violent ordeal. Don't discredit those feelings. But don't use them also to inflict pain on yourself because the decision didn't go as you wanted it to go. They will consume you and you WILL drink again if you don't find some resolve.

If you take a look at your signature it says a lot.

"Always look back with forgiveness". This shall set you free.

Take care Katie and give yourself a break. He is still winning the battle whilst you are consumed with these thoughts that are making you feel the way you are.

Many Blessings
Phil

[Guest]

Angry and depressed

As Hippie says and to be honest these thoughts, feelings etc have to be the ones to change if you want to be AF. This is what people mean when they say you have to change your life. They don't mean your job, partner, house - they actually mean the way you think and look at things.

Tell you what it makes a big difference, so stop beating yourself up and concentrate on being AF. That means not letting anything get to you even if it is unfair. We can't afford to and you will develop a sense of belief in yourself as a result.

[one2many]

Angry and depressed

Katie.

I echo what everyone else says. You need to turn this around hon, nothing can come between you and your sobriety.

Your ex may think he has won, but he is underestimating you and your strength, resolve and love for your boy.

You are well loved Katie, there is a lot about you to love, you are special and strong and a fantastic Mammy....Keep holding on, your turn is coming, don't ever give up ever.

We are all behind you..24 hours a day..ok??

There is a bright future out there for you and your son...look forward and fight for it xxx

Love,

Oney

PS can you pm one of us or post so we know you are ok.....we lot worry ya know xxx

[K9Lover]

Angry and depressed

Sweet Katie :l
You are such a special lady and a great Mom, and I'm sorry you're hurting right now. Please stay safe and strong for your little boy (and yourself!). You have lots of friends here that care about you a lot. Let us know what you need...
:h
K9

[sunshine_gg]

Angry and depressed

:l Katie

I can't add much to what has been said already. But perhaps I can share my experience with you. My ex-husband was physically abusive at times, but not to 'extremes'. The truly vicious and unforgivable abuse was financial towards me and emotional towards his children. And I was helpless in both cases. I had the choice to either keep my house and keep the children in their familiar surroundings or keep paying lawyers to fight him for fraud and child support in court since I couldn't afford to do both. I chose to move on. I also chose to put him AWAY. Mentally. I found, that when I brooded over how he had 'won' and how unfair all of this was, I turned into an a very angry and bitter person. And he was still winning.

It isn't easy to look past the hurt (both physical and emotional) but much like we say HERE, "You can't change the past". Dammit, Katie, let's not let him win anymore. You need to move on. For YOU and for your little boy. You have done FANTASTIC over the past month, you have put one foot in front of the other and you have traveled a LOOONG way from your first post here. I, for one, am incredibly proud of you. You have carried yourself with strength, integrity, and grace - and I hope you will continue to do so.
:l