Angry and depressed

[mama bear]

Angry and depressed

KaiteB...don't scare us all to death....YOU have to be here for that precious baby you love so much....Don't let F*tard win.....
please check back in......

[techie]

Angry and depressed

KatieB;868935 wrote: Hi all,
I have been really trying to gather my thoughts over the past week after the court case.. I feel so angry that my ex got away with beating me up!
And now he threatens to take my son off me all the time, even though I am not drinking..
I feel so depressed.. I dont know what the future holds for me (who does??) - am I always going to have problems in my relationships? I still feel anxious around people, think everyone hates me.. finding it hard coping with my son on my own all day long, then dealing with work and patients being cruel.. not sure I want to be in this world much longer..

Kaite - You have to stay strong for your son and yourself. Your ex knows your history so he'll use whatever ammo he can to break you. You stay sober and the courts will side with you. You're the mom. He's a dirt bag. Any man who beats a woman dosen't even deserve a second thought. You take care of yourself and everthing will work out for you. You and your boy are in my thoughts and prayers. John

[kslc2001]

Angry and depressed

I'm new at this, but i read through your posts and my heart went out to you and that encouraged me to write one myself

Don't give up we're all routing for you : )

[sk8punk]

Angry and depressed

Katie,

I've been feeling exactly like yourself lately. But Katie much like me you have a son to live for. Just think of him when you get those feelings. You can get through this Katie. It won't be easy but anything worth while never is. Don't give up Katie.

[sunshinedaisies]

Angry and depressed

Katie - I have followed you through all this and thought how incredibly strong you have been and wondered if I could have been as amazing as you. And being AF too! You are a wonderful role model here for others just starting. You have been through SO much, you are entitled to how you feel. BUT you need to take a deep breath, gird your loins, and get ready to face the world again. Your son needs you, your ex needs to be out of your head - stop wasting your energy on him. You are an amazing human being, and have many folk here who are supporting you and loving you. Read through these posts and feel the love coming to you from everyone Katie. PM anyone of them should you need to talk to anyone. We are all here for you.

Love and hugs to you, Sunshinedaisies

[KatieB]

Angry and depressed

Hi all,
Thank you so much for your kind responses.. I was supposed to be working last night but cancelled as I was too depressed.. then my internet messed up and I couldnt get back on to reassure you all I have done nothing stupid. I have had no AL.. I took a double dose of my anti-depressants last night in the hope that they would make me feel better today.. but I feel the same.. I feel I cannot give my all to my son with my ex being so verbally abusive and horrible to me on a daily basis.. thats why I feel I have to give him up.. i cant look after myself anymore.. i will prob lose my job as they will find out i lied about not being able to work.. i just dont know still if i want to stay in this world.. i feel there is no place for me.

[Justforme]

Angry and depressed

Dear KatieB is there someone you can get to come around and be with you? I agree that it is hard to look after a small child when are feeling like this, but by tomorrow with some TLC for YOURSELF you will be feeling a hell of a lot more positive. Small children and what you are going through at too hard without some help. That is just common sense, and nothing to do with everything else you are dealing with. It's like if you suddenly had chicken pocks or bronchitis, you couldn't handle a little one as well. Please ask someone to give you a hand here.
I said to be before (but I know that's it's very hard for you right now) but the most powerful thing you can do for yourself is to stand up to this situation. You will always remember that you were able to do this, it will carry you through other situations later in life. I really, really feel for you Katie but bowing out is not the answer. It's all about you today my dear. Not your son. Not your hideous in-laws and your miserable ex-husband. You have the whole future waiting for you to grab on to it. You can do it. I've read lots of your previous posts and they have bucked me up and made me stronger so I know you have it in you. Keep in touch with me today on this post and let me know how you are doing. I know that I am just one of many, many people on this site that are here for you.
Love xx

[Justforme]

Angry and depressed

P.s. Sorry for all the typos Katie but I just wanted to blurt that all out to you.x

[techie]

Angry and depressed

Look Katie I'm in a very similar domestic situation albeit without the physical abuse. My wife uses a much more devious tactic. I had a daughter that I haven't spoken with in over 6 months. I know that my only chance of winning her back is through my sobriety. I may never reconcile with my wife but be that as it may. I NEED YOU. YOU SON NEEDS YOU. WE NEED YOU. I was just a big pile of me before I joined your challenge and it keeps me going. I won't let you down. Please do the same for me. Friends? John

[Justforme]

Angry and depressed

And me again ... re-reading your post it is obvious to me that you are very depressed and why wouldn't you be. Can you get to your doctor. You need someone on your side today. Someone to be kind. Are you sleeping? That also will be contributing to your feelings of helplessness. Perhaps someone could mind your little one and you could stay with someone else for a couple of days. Sometimes a change of surroundings is a big help too.
Rave, rave ... can you imagine what sort of a mother I am?????
What time of the days is it where you are?

[Ringing Cedars]

Angry and depressed

Hi Katie....so sorry you are feeling so down right now. But like everyone said this will pass. Is there a local women's shelter that you can contact for support. I'm sure they will have lots of ways to lend some support. Please hang in there and go easy on yourself. I too know what it's like to be verbally abused on a daily basis, all day long.:l

[Justforme]

Angry and depressed

At the risk of being a total nuisance Katie, could you get back to us please???

[not tonight]

Angry and depressed

Katie - in the short period that I have known you, you have exuded love and compassion for others, you have been such a positive influence on so many of us from MWO. I can understand how you may be feeling worn down by your ex. But gather your strength, you can over come this, it will be difficult, but not impossible. He is not fit to parent! Your son needs you! I think Ringing Cedars has the right idea, can you contact a women's shelter for support, and reprieve from the daily abuse from your ex. We are all pulling for you my dear. Stay strong!

[KatieB]

Angry and depressed

justforme, techie and ringingcedars,
I feel a bit better after reading all of your posts.. I have decided to just blank out what my ex has said to me.. every time he doesn't "get his own way" he verbally abuses me! he calls me all sorts of names.. yes I had issues before I met him, but I got better once I left him! what does that show for him? I am seeing my therapist this afternoon which is a great thing, he is fantastic - I will be honest with how I am feeling.. I am going to try and steer clear of AL too.. Day 4 (again) for me today.. I have a friend coming round shortly.. its just so hard - my ex gets away with saying and doing so many evil things (not just with me) and never ever has any consequences! when is he ever going to pay for the things he does and says???

[Justforme]

Angry and depressed

What I am hearing in your last post Katie is mainly about why does your ex get away with the crap he dishes out. Can I just say that for today it would be in your best interests if you possibly can to allow yourself to LET GO of this pattern of thinking which is very negative. You can't control your ex's behaviour. You can't control his parents' actions but you are in control of yourself and you are the most important person right at this moment. Focus on that. On you and picking yourself up. Forget him just for one day. Use the ODAT process to mean that for today you are going to shut him (and AL if poss) out of your life. Just today. Tomorrow another game plan?
Sending you a big hug.xx