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    #31
    Angry and depressed

    That's so GREAT Katie. I'm so happy. Do what I do and try and minimize the contact you have with your ex. Moving forward is all about YOU AND YOUR SON. I'll be thinking of you....John
    Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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      #32
      Angry and depressed

      not tonight;869522 wrote: Katie - in the short period that I have known you, you have exuded love and compassion for others, you have been such a positive influence on so many of us from MWO. I can understand how you may be feeling worn down by your ex. But gather your strength, you can over come this, it will be difficult, but not impossible. He is not fit to parent! Your son needs you! I think Ringing Cedars has the right idea, can you contact a women's shelter for support, and reprieve from the daily abuse from your ex. We are all pulling for you my dear. Stay strong!
      I think one of our problems (by our I mean 'us' with drink issues) is that we are very good at caring for others, but no good at caring for ourselves. Once we start to do that things tend to change in a positive way.

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        #33
        Angry and depressed

        Once again UKB, I am impressed by your sage counsel ... you talk such a lot of good sense.

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          #34
          Angry and depressed

          Thank you justforme,
          I guess I already know that I cannot control what he says and does.. there are lots of things out of my control, but I have to learn to accept that - as the old wise saying says.. I will endeavour to try - only that way I know I can be happy and move on.. he says things that get to the core of me as he knows me so well - he knows exactly what to say to hurt me.. but I have to stop allowing him to beat myself up over and over again.. thanks again,
          Katie xx
          "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

          :groupluv:

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            #35
            Angry and depressed

            Thank you techie and ukblonde,
            I will try and minimise contact, and just ignore what he says without even reading them in future, il just delete.. i cannot allow him to destablise me when I have such a young son to take care of.. i know we all have good and bad aspects of ourselves.. i cant allow my ex to make me believe only the bad parts of myself exist.. though i still have trouble believing in myself.. i dont think that will ever change..
            "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

            :groupluv:

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              #36
              Angry and depressed

              Well there's something you can control right away Katie. You don't even need to delete if it's emails or txts he's sending you that are abusive. If the majority of his abuse is coming at you at the moment by technology you have some power there to stop it. Can't you just block him from your mail? How frustrating for him if all that spleen he is venting simply goes up in a puff into cyberspace and affects no-one. You'd have the last laugh then.

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                #37
                Angry and depressed

                Justforme,
                Unfortunately I need to be able to contact him and him me b/c of our son - if he has our son for instance and needs to get hold of me.. a friend has suggested I get a 2nd mobile phone that is just for him, that way I can leave it at home and keep it turned off most the time.. or I change my mobile number and he only has access to my home phone.. i am still thinking about all of that..
                "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                :groupluv:

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                  #38
                  Angry and depressed

                  Hey everyone,
                  Good news - i have worked out my mobile phone and managed to block his number from sending me any texts messages! So he cannot harrass me or verbally insult or abuse me by text anymore.. he can now only call me... I feel so much more positive now about this.. as I know he won't be able to afford to call my mobile constantly.. plus if he is really harrassing and leaving voicemessages, the police take that alot more seriously than text messages..
                  Katie xx
                  "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                  :groupluv:

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                    #39
                    Angry and depressed

                    Yea
                    Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Angry and depressed

                      Excellent. How much stronger does that make you feel taking action rather than letting it all wash over you. Well done you! Don't think I don't get how hard this is for you. You have so much support here though.

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                        #41
                        Angry and depressed

                        katie sweetie
                        its good to see the posts on this thread are becoming more positive each time you post and i'm also thrilled to see you've gone 4 days al free during all of this shit.

                        you know katie, i went through similar to what you are with my first husband and eldest daughter 10 years ago. months of insufferable fighting, violence, threats, name calling, threats from his family blah blah you know it all to well..

                        these babies grow katie. they form opinions of people of their own. my ex walked away from his child. i did everything in my power to make sure he contacted her, to no avail. i finally got the message when the solicitor said to me "you can't MAKE him see his daughter." its been 8 years since he saw her, or me or gave her a penny. he's missed her life because he couldnt get past his hatred of me. she knows about him, i've never bad mouthed him, but because she's autistic, she aint interested in him. all through his bullyboy tactics and spinelesness.


                        i guess my message is, he'll reap what he sews honey.

                        you take care and look after you and your boy. embrace every minute you have together.
                        you are one bloody strong lady, and you can do this! ok?:l
                        The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

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                          #42
                          Angry and depressed

                          Thank you girly-wirly,

                          It is inspiring to read a message from someone who went through something similar, albeit a few years ago.. though I know a few of us on here have mean ex's, and custody disputes - we will all get through these times together! And staying sober and being successful in life (and I dont mean career-wise though that is good too..) is the best "revenge"!
                          Katie xxx
                          "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                          :groupluv:

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Angry and depressed

                            Stay strong, Katie. And good for you for blocking that eedjit from texting you! You don't need his nastiness cluttering up your life. :goodjob:

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Angry and depressed

                              Thanks Fennel,

                              Its with the support from you all that I have been able to pick up my mood today, and realise that the abuse from my ex stops NOW! I will no longer let him affect me in any way - he is just a low-life.. someone who has no conscience.. its bad enough being nasty to people, but to his son's mother - in which he knows I have a history of self-harm and depression.. it baffles me as to why he is doing this to me.. actually I do know, its b/c he knows I will never take him back after what he did..
                              "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                              :groupluv:

                              Comment

                                #45
                                Angry and depressed

                                Katie, have been where you are. The absolute best revenge is living well. That is what helped me through all the times...I lived well. And I will continue to do so and wil beat this al thing no matter what! Cause I have POWER, as you do, as we all do. Just gotta dig deep I guess......
                                :notes:
                                Lion

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