Everyone has been so supportive, that I feel so guilty writing this..
It seems since the court case, I have slowly been slipping back into my old ways of binge drinking.. I have had a lot of AF days under my belt, but over the last week I consumed a whole bottle of wine 2 nights (not in a row).. I have found myself coming up with excuses -
* I am finding it hard being a single mum with minimal support in the "real" world.. I am so tired all the time, I have virtually no time to myself.. all day i am looking after my son or I am working..
* I still have feelings of self-hatred which makes me want to hide behind a bottle to forget and block those thoughts..
* My therapist was unavailable yesterday so I have been unable to air to him my thoughts of low self-worth.
* My ex, though blocked from text messaging me, is still being cruel and thoughtless on the phone.
* I am feeling de-motivated with life.. I cannot see any direction to it since my ex is now "tied" to me b/c of our son.. I dont know how I can go on with him in my life, I cannot stand even seeing him!
* My work has been stressing me out..
These are all rubbish excuses I know.. but since the court case I am finding myself more and more depressed (and yes I am taking anti-depressants).. and am back to saying negative things to myself, and thinking I am not worthy of a good AF life.. I would appreciate anyone that can help me get out of this rut! I know I am an alcoholic too, who will find any excuse to drink.. but I was doing so well and managing to not drink for days on end.. How can I get back on track? Thank you xxx
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