I'm not coping..

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

startingover;873244 wrote: Now this is the wine talking. Not you!

You hit the nail on the head.. im now 8 drinks down.. another 1.5 litres to go! i am not working, cancelled numerous shifts, i will probably lose my job, and my son too.. its all i deserve.. since my ex got away with assaulting me, i feel all i deserve are bad things to happen to me, and i will make them happen the way things are going.

[startingover]

I'm not coping..

Katie, you need to talk to someone.
Is there a helpline you can call? A crisis line perhaps?

[gertrude mcfuzz]

I'm not coping..

Tip the rest down the sink.
You need to be strong for your son.:l

[Justforme]

I'm not coping..

Dear Katie,
After 8 drinks if it were me, I would be inconsolable if I was already depressed. It's like shovelling ** on top of yourself. The best thing you can do now is to get yourself off to bed. Know that your son is out of your hair for tonight and you can get some much needed rest. Once you get to this point, and you have had a lot of AL nothing anyone says is going to lift it for you.
Just be kind to yourself. You're up and down at the moment and god, who of us isn't and you have a hell of a lot on your plate.
Not being here for your son seems like a pretty heavy legacy for him. Not drinking and coping is the one he really deserves from you.
I know you want this too.
Love to you, Katie.

[Little Owl]

I'm not coping..

Katie, I understand what you mean about being a fake. I sometimes feel that everyone else is normal and I'm a wierdo, just going through the motions like some kind of robot. Pretending all the time.

Please don't think that your son would be better off without you, that could never be true. My mother wanted to die from when I was about twelve, I don't think she coped with life before that very well either, she was depressed a lot of the time, but she got through and there is no way I would have wanted to be without her.

Drinking wine is not the answer, but I know it blots everything out for a while. You deserve to be here and to have a wonderful life, and your son needs you. Don't let your ex push you down. He is wrong. When you wake up try and start again, think about your son and rebuilding your life with him in it.

Can you make a list of the good things in your life starting with him? And try to think of some new things to add? One at a time? Even little things. Like a walk with him and notice all the things you see on the way. Its amazing what children notice. When mine were small they noticed two ladybirds on a wall having sex, I never would have seen them and hadn't even contemplated that ladybirds did that!

[mario]

I'm not coping..

katie, you should not dwell too much on the mistakes,faults and failures of the past, be done with shame & remorse and contempt for yourself, with help here and elsewhere develop a new self respect,unless you respect yourself,others will not respect you, you ran a race you stumbled and fell,you have risen again,and now you press on toward your goal of a better life,do not stay to examine the spot where you fell,only to feel sorry for the delay,the short sightedness that prevented you from seeing the real goal sooner,on up & forward

[Miss Behaving]

I'm not coping..

Hi Katie,

looks like you have gone off-line ... hope that means you are getting some sleep! Dont forget to drink lots of water too!

Katie, I too have been in that place of feeling like a complete failure, and not having the energy to even make a little bit of effort to try to help myself. It is horrible and dark and incredibly lonely. Drinking isn't going to make it any better - it just helps to numb you to it for a while. (and actually one of the things I realised that drinking did for me was that it was only when I was drunk that I was able to cry - and I had a lot of crying to do!!!! I've had to learn how to cry sober ....... )

I'm right with everyone else on the fact that your son needs you - in fact needs both of his parents. A very close friend of mine has been going through a horrible time with the Family Court for about a year over contact with his son, in the face of some pretty determined efforts by his ex- to prevent contact. His son is at an age where he can now articulate a lot more of his feelings, and he is very clear about his desire to have relationships with both of his parents despite how they feel about each other. The whole thing has been really hard, but my friend continues to work towards this if for no other reason that being a parent includes all the obligations of legal guardianship - keeping our kids safe and secure at the very minimum. And kids need the security of knowing that their parents would walk over hot coals for them.

I dont know what the situation is in NSW, but here, when things get to the Family Court (and this is after mediation and counselling and all those other things haven't worked!) the Court appoints a "Counsel for the Child". This is a lawyer (paid for through Legal Aid) who acts in the interests on the child, and on the basis of all the evidence about what is needed for child development . In my friend's case it has been really helpful to have someone neutral who has been able to contest some of the more outrageous claims that have been made about his parenting skills and his lifestyle. In addition, where either physical or emotional abuse is present, the Courts have been pretty stern about making parenting orders that do not expose kids to that sort of behavior.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity. Dont worry about trying to be perfect, or strong or needing to support others, and dont worry about letting it all hang out if you need to. We're all here for the same reason!

Hope the sleep fairy and a guardian angel look after you tonight.

[Stargazerlily]

I'm not coping..

KatieB,
My heart goes out to you, you are in distress and reverting back to your old comforter, AL. When you wake up you will feel worse after your binge, but know that we are here for you, and post, post, post. There are lots of people, me included, who have followed your story and are concerned for you.

I like what Mario said, to respect yourself and you will get respect. You have come far, and despite this lapse, you have made progress. YOu know what it feels like to be AF and get healthy, make good choices, and live AF.

Your son needs you and wants you, believe me. All kids want their parents, and are incredibly empty without them. Please know you can make a life without your ex and alcohol. Hope you are OK. LEt us know.

[jessie]

I'm not coping..

:lKatieB, I believe in medication during such hard times as you are going through now. An anti depressant and a light tranquilizer. NOT to be taken with alcohol. Speak to your doctor about it. You need all the help you can get now.
I'm thinking of you.

[AMELIA]

I'm not coping..

Hi Katie,
Hope you are getting some sleep. A lot of people here care about you and are worried about how down you are feeling. Booze can be a real downer if you are already upset.
Get a good nights sleep, then as one of the others has said, think about the positives in your life and focus on them.
Your son needs you.

[Chillgirl]

I'm not coping..

Katie sweetheart, Im so sorry for all your pain, you are going through such a difficult time.
Life is one big emotional rollercoaster but dont forget what it feels like when your feeling good and on a high, the dips will always come but they dont last long before you climb back up there. You have done so well and you know that AL never makes anything better so get yourself back on track. Try to focus on the good things, I know they might seem thin on the ground but when you start looking you will see there are more than you think. You have a wonderful son, you're young and healthy and have your whole life ahead of you. :l

[girly wirly]

I'm not coping..

come on girl x

look at your son, see how much you love each other and remember why life is worth living! i hope your sleeping and are gonna come right back here when you wake up xx:l

[sk8punk]

I'm not coping..

Katie,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. I understand the feeling of hoplessness in depression. I've been there myself the last couple weeks. I feel I don't have anyone in the "real" world either. Everything starts to look up then next thing you know you're right back to the bottom. Don't give up. You know you want to be there for your son. Things have to get better for both of us. Just take everything one day at a time. That's all any of us can do.

[mama bear]

I'm not coping..

Katie
YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR YOUR SON.....
YES I AM YELLING.......you have been so strong.........keep it up girl.........
I don't mean to sound harsh but you are making bad choices and your baby needs you
get so rest and hydrate and check back in with us

[OverIt2007]

I'm not coping..

I love you too Katie!!! I screw up all the time girl, your NOT alone!!!

Life is hard sometimes, we all know it. Have some faith that it will be ok

I believe in the power of positive thinking. Just try!!! You have so much to live for even if you dont always see it.