I'm not coping..

[daybyday]

I'm not coping..

Hi Katie, sorry to see you are going through such a rough spell again. When I was going through bad times, the AL made the days up and down all the time. It was an emotional roller coaster of hell. Nothing will change unless you don't get your life free from AL so you can begin to see things through clear eyes again. Trust me, I am dealing with an abuser and getting free from him. Being the sober one now, I always have the upper hand. He can no longer hurt me because I can think proper and make my own decisions. Don't give your power in life away to anyone or anything (AL)
Do this for yourself and do this for you son. We are all here for you.

[anon]

I'm not coping..

Keep posting whatever you feel like. I became too ashamed to post and that prevented me from moving on. I have been an abuser of alcohol for more than 40 years and feel like I have wasted so much of it. You are young enough to enjoy the rest of your life without this poison. So sorry about all your problems with your lovely son. Alcohol WILL not help but you know that anyway.
Loads of love from the UK. Today is the 4th day AF longest I have ever gone. If I can do it so can anyone.

[Guest]

I'm not coping..

There is a way out of this.

AL NEVER MAKES ANY PROBLEM BETTER, usually only worse. There is one simple way you can be a better mum (not that you are bad anyway), deal with things and feel better. That is remove AL.

As long as you stay drinking you will feel all the things Sheri listed and that's a guarantee.

[K9Lover]

I'm not coping..

Katie~
Please check in and let us know how you are doing. So many people here care about you and love you. You are not a failure, and there's no way your son would be better off without you. Please do not say that. Look that little boy and in his eyes you will see unconditional love...you are his mommy, nobody can ever replace you, so please don't take that away from him!
I know you are struggling with so many obstacles right now, but please believe that all of this will pass, you WILL get past this. You are a strong woman, you WILL survive and come out the other side.
We all care about you so much. Please let us know how you are.
Love you!
K9

[fennel]

I'm not coping..

K9Lover;873859 wrote: Katie~
Please check in and let us know how you are doing. So many people here care about you and love you. You are not a failure, and there's no way your son would be better off without you. Please do not say that. Look that little boy and in his eyes you will see unconditional love...you are his mommy, nobody can ever replace you, so please don't take that away from him!
I know you are struggling with so many obstacles right now, but please believe that all of this will pass, you WILL get past this. You are a strong woman, you WILL survive and come out the other side.
We all care about you so much. Please let us know how you are.
Love you!
K9

+ 1.
Well said, K9Lover.

Katie, please check back and let us know how you're doing.

I implore you to re-think all of this when you're sober. Your son's life will not improve without you. Can you ask your doctor for antabuse? You have to get back on track for your son's sake. :l

[Panno]

I'm not coping..

Hi 'Katie been thinking about u all day xx please consider AA I think somebody in your position will hugely benefit from face to face interaction particular spending as much time on your own as you do. I am sure you are feeling lower than ever now with that hangover . Please try for that little boy of yours he deserves his mummy xx

[wannachange]

I'm not coping..

Hi Katie, yo uknow you are one of the people I look up to most and I can relate to your story only too well, twice I took to AL instead of facing the issues surrounding the access to my child, I still have not seen him but my positive attitude and the wonderful people here perked me right up and I began to fight again, I know some day my son will look me in the eye and say "Thank you Daddy for fighting for me and not drinking"
Your Son will say the same to you, AL is not the answer and you know it, and you are certainly not a pain in the hole, I loved listening to your stories and your dates and about your little child.
We need you as much as you need us, come back to us and tell us your little steps day by day and we will be here all the way and will rejoice when you finally get what you want - because I know you will!

[one2many]

I'm not coping..

Well Said Wanna

[bungle]

I'm not coping..

Hi Katie , I am pretty new here and just sort of hover in the back ground but on reading your post tonight I can relate to you, I feel what you are going through now, 20yrs ago I was were you are, battling constantly with my ex no family around me, wondering about my son would he be better of without me.... but not once would I of let him go, I feel guilty now because I drank to numb my pain,however I could not imagine how guilty I would feel now if I had not of beat my battle with my ex.
My son tell me almost everyday how grateful he is that he has a mum like me and through his own choice has not got a lot of time for his father.
Don't ever give up on the most important thing in your life. Stay strong for you and your son.

[Justforme]

I'm not coping..

Dear Katie,
Have just been reading through all these posts from everyone who has flooded the site with concern and kindness for you. You are so not alone here. Everyone understands and there are some who are almost in identical situations to you who could be better to 'talk' to than any counsellor; friends of your own age who are dealing with the same stuff, not just the AF issues but the abusive ex. Apart from all the help that is being offered to you here today Katie, the thing you can't help but see is that everyone on this site has pretty much thought about you during the night, and like me, got up in the morning and like me, the first thought they had on waking was how you are doing. We are all here, wanting to help.
Love xx

[Meech]

I'm not coping..

Katie,

Please read this over and over. Great post Sheri. I think we all get caught up in thinking and feeling that our lives or so awful. We forget to look through the dark fog of AL and see we have SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.

I know you are feeling like you are at the end of your rope Katie. BUT things could be worse. You have a lot to be joyous about. Your son is alive, your son is healthy, your son loves you and YOUR SON NEEDS YOU. Don't ever lose sight of that.

Earlier post by Sheri....
WARNING: Drinking Alcohol is Hazardous to your Health and may cause lasting guilt, shame, and low self-esteem; severe depression and anxiety; inability to cope with stress and function in the real world; bloating and obesity; sleepless nights, embarrassing moments, and major hanovers; and possibly emotional, spiritual and physical death!

We all have things in our lives to be grateful for and need to focus on those, however small they may seem to be at the time. From what I've read in your posts, you have a wonderful, beautiful son that loves and needs you, a roof over your head, a job to support yourself, youth on your side, a caring and loving spirit, all your bodily limbs and the physical ability to do whatever you want to do, and I'm sure so much more.

Nobody ever feels better by playing the "ain't my life awful" game that AL loves for us to play. We start to feel better by focusing on the good in our life, not the bad, and looking at our challenges as important lessons to be learned and growth opporutnities rather than bad luck and misfortunes. I've not had the easiest life either, and could easily wallow in self-pity, and did for a time, but I choose not to do that anymore because it makes life joyless and so much more difficult than it has to be.

You've gotten some great advice so why not start a gratitude journal and a list of positive affirmations today!

[gertrude mcfuzz]

I'm not coping..

Hello??

Katie are you around?? Let us know how you are??

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Hi everyone,
I called my counsellor, who called me an ambulance.. I am just home after spending the night at the hospital.. I was inconsolable, angry - they had to schedule me and give me IV midazolam.. my son was taken off me and given to his dad - i dont know if i can keep custody of him.. i am now going to go and rest.. thank you all for your messages.. sorry for scaring everyone,
Katie..

[gertrude mcfuzz]

I'm not coping..

Glad you checked in Katie, and also that you called your counsellor, wise move. Will check in later, relieved to hear you got help. You will be okay, start again, be kind to yourself.

Hugs:l
Megan
xx

[sunshinedaisies]

I'm not coping..

Katie, I am so pleased to see that you are okay. I feel for you and what you are going through. I am so glad that you called your counsellor. There were many people here who were worried about you and it is good that you are back to let us all know that you are okay.

Earlier on today I was having some problems and had been considering maybe getting some AL just 'for today' (I have been AF since Jan) and came here instead - oh Katie, it (AL) doesn't help but I know where you are coming from and why you did it. There have been lots of suggestions for you - I hope that some of them can help you. Just know there are lots of people here caring for you. Hang in there and be strong.

sending hugs to you,

Sunshinedaisies