I'm not coping..

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Thank you Ktab, Amelia, Miss Behaving and daybyday,
Had a lovely night's rest, feel totally refreshed and much happier about things.. I have a busy morning planned (not stressful though!) and going to see my son this afternoon then go back to work tonight (i have had way too much time off lately).. I feel I am getting back into the swing of things, feeling positive.. and I know I will not be drinking.. I need to abstain for as long as possible; i know thats the reason everything started to deteriorate, i was slipping back "into my old ways" - gradually binge drinking more and more frequently - which leads to highs then lows.. I am off to see my GP today, and am going to drink lots of water and eat well.. thanks again
Katie xxx

[mama bear]

I'm not coping..

Be strong my friend

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Thank you MamaB,
I will.. feeling better and stronger than ever.. now that my ex is aware of what he was doing to me by his harrassment, he is being much nicer and supportive.. he realises that he does not want his son to grow up without a mother!
I am seeing my counsellor tomorrow which will be good too

[mama bear]

I'm not coping..

I hope f***tard keeps up the good behavior......

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

mama bear;875755 wrote: I hope f***tard keeps up the good behavior......

i hope so.. i think my experience shook him up.. plus im getting legal advice about him tomorrow.. the police have been useless and not done anything even though there is an avo.. i hate the police right now! they are too dumb to recognise psychological/emotional abuse..

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I'm not coping..

Good for you Katie, get his earlier threats and mind games written down and recorded by a qualified person. And keep the faith, this will all come together, keep strong.

[fennel]

I'm not coping..

KatieB;875757 wrote: i hope so.. i think my experience shook him up.. plus im getting legal advice about him tomorrow.. the police have been useless and not done anything even though there is an avo.. i hate the police right now! they are too dumb to recognise psychological/emotional abuse..

Katie, that's why I suggest recording him- when he threatens to take your son, etc., that is harassment. And you'll have the evidence.

[Change]

I'm not coping..

You've gotten unprecidented support here, isn't there any way you can help yourself? People here, myself included, have given you constructive advice, but you insist on feeling sorry for yourself. Your ex has every right to see his son too.

Sorry this is harsh, but you keep going on like a broken record.

[KateH1]

I'm not coping..

Katie,
Perhaps you need to take a break and get your life together. Winding up in the hospital during a binge is very serious! Hinting that you might be thinking of ending your life is very serious. Drinking to excess while you are caring for a small child is serious. I wonder how much of what you read as "Abuse" by your ex is actually his concern for his son and yes, even you? He must be extremely worried about the safety of his son being in such an unstable environment.

Katie, please get help. Rather than looking outside of yourself for blame, figure out what you need to do to create the life that you want. Anti depressents do not work when you are drinking. If your current counselor is not helping, find another one. Katie, no one else can fix your life. Only you can do this.

Read back over this thread. You go from fighting for your son to admitting that caring for him is too much for you. You continually speak about drinking to excess. You wound up in the hospital and all you can think about is how it will make your ex do what you want. You are all over the place! On other threads you talk about looking for a man to solve your problems and make you happy.

Katie, a good counselor can help you work through your issues. You are the only one that can create the life that you desire. As Greenie always says, "Put your big girl pants on" and take responsibility. You can do it!

Kate

[Guest]

I'm not coping..

KateH1;875984 wrote: Katie,
Perhaps you need to take a break and get your life together. Winding up in the hospital during a binge is very serious! Hinting that you might be thinking of ending your life is very serious. Drinking to excess while you are caring for a small child is serious. I wonder how much of what you read as "Abuse" by your ex is actually his concern for his son and yes, even you? He must be extremely worried about the safety of his son being in such an unstable environment.

Katie, please get help. Rather than looking outside of yourself for blame, figure out what you need to do to create the life that you want. Anti depressents do not work when you are drinking. If your current counselor is not helping, find another one. Katie, no one else can fix your life. Only you can do this.

Read back over this thread. You go from fighting for your son to admitting that caring for him is too much for you. You continually speak about drinking to excess. You wound up in the hospital and all you can think about is how it will make your ex do what you want. You are all over the place! On other threads you talk about looking for a man to solve your problems and make you happy.

Katie, a good counselor can help you work through your issues. You are the only one that can create the life that you desire. As Greenie always says, "Put your big girl pants on" and take responsibility. You can do it!

Kate

I agree with this completely but was too afraid to say. I've been able to see the AL talking all the time through your posts. I'm not disputing what your ex has done but I do know that AL makes us very manipulative people - took me a long, long time to see that in myself. Yep I did things to get attention from folk, to make them feel sorry for me etc etc. There is only one person who can do this and it's you.

[mollyka]

I'm not coping..

Katie, I 100% agree with what Katie and Uk says, I've 'held my whist' for a while but really and truly your situation isn't just like mine as in my husband getting thick cos I was drunk, your situation has a child involved. Katie, this is really serious
Molly

[Flip Top]

I'm not coping..

Hey Kate hope you are ok?

My GF tells me every time that she loves me a little bit less after a binge, as she did tonight. I can understand where she is coming from. This is why i'm going to have to get my priorities right before I lose the things that are most important........

[Mazzie]

I'm not coping..

Hey Katie, hang in there mate

Everyone's journey is different because we are all different. You are on your journey to a better life and so am I. We just have different circumstances and reactions and time frames etc.

What I am finding is helping me enormously with both no al and my self-esteem and happiness is working on myself with the help of Louise Hay's book 'You can heal your life". I know others on here have recommended this book and I think I remember you saying you have it yourself.

I began with my Dad and forgiving him. Seeing him in the way Louise describes and being able to be grateful for him and what he did do right for me has made my attitude toward him much improved and therefore already our relationship has improved. Lots of resentment and anger has left me and in their place I have peace and love beginning to flow. Nothing otherwise has changed - I can't change him or anything that has happened previously only me and my attitudes.

The other thing I've found with dealing with someone else in my life who really hurt me 3 years ago and whom I used as an 'excuse' to numb myself out with al is that in forgiving that person I no longer feel the hurt or anger or have any feelings of wanting revenge. We will never be besties again but thats OK.

I am not perfect in this and maybe I don't write things down well, but all I really want to say is to you is that ditching the al is just a start BUT it is the most important thing you need to start with otherwise you will just go around and around not dealing with anything properly and just putting off even trying to do so.

Just to throw something out there to you - what if you could forgive your ex - be grateful that he is a good dad (if he is - he sounds like he is always there if you need him to have your son at short notice for example) If you could feel better about him you will treat him differently as well and he may well respond to that differently.

When we get rid of resentments and anger etc. it leaves space for more love etc in our lives. Forgiving others helps us. A lot of times they won't even know but we feel the benefit of it.

Anyway, I haven't even been on here much lately and now i've written this big speal. I have to go to work right now or I will be later than I am already going to be but I really wish you well on your journey and hope you have a good day today. Talk to you some more.

PS. I have been al free for about 3 weeks now - since I started dealing with these issues and putting other things in place. Still a long way to go but getting there

[Guest]

I'm not coping..

This is all good stuff but only useful once KatieB has gotten AF, that bit is up to her as well as whatever she uses to get there(which ever way she does choose it generally means initially ignoring or accepting the crap temporarily). Lots of resources and support on here for her to tap into when she needs it.

[mollyka]

I'm not coping..

yep UK with you