Socializing this weekend without alcohol

[Candi]

I really don't know how to socialize without alcohol
I see alcohol everywhere. Is like I'm been tested or something
any comment on how to cope with invitations where people drink, besides not showing up

[Guest]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Not showing up is a good strategy in the beginning. (Mr Myagi again... 'no be there.'
Alternatively, and later down the track, take your own non-alcoholic drink and use that. Nobody will notice.

[gertrude mcfuzz]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Arrive late, leave early
Be the designated driver?

[JackieClaire]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Hi Candi,
In my early days AF I avoided most party/social functions for at least 30 days apart from one that I was already committed to. I sat at a table that was mainly people who had brought their cars and just people watched. Sure there was a few over the top drinkers (I cringed with embarrassment for them) but you'll be surprised how little most people drink.
Like Gertrude says arrive early,leave late. A few little white lies at the beginning won't do any harm. I'm on meds, I'm on a health kick.
J x
:l

[mollyka]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Hey Candi!
Its something you need to think out ahead of time, you can't just arrive at a venue and wing it. Definitely lies are good, like JC says 'meds' 'diet' etc. but also she made a REALLY valid point - when you're not drinking and you look at the 'drinkers' - so many of them drink sooo little its incredible, my husband can sit over 2 pints for 3 hours, thats 'normal' apparently. Personally I avoid social situations whenever I can.
Molly

[Guest]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Arrive late, leave early so you are there for minimum time, and only where there are plenty of people there i.e. you can't get bored! Get your own drinks avoid going to the bar if you can - by that I mean if there is somewhere you can get a non-al drink without being at a bar, then use it. In a professional bar ask for a non-al or fruit juice cocktail. Any decent waiter or barman will know exactly what to do. If anyone asks (which they generally won't) just say you aren't drinking. It's non of their business if you don't want an AL drink. Leave well within your comfort zone - so that means BEFORE you feel tired. Believe you me you will start to get bored if there is any heavy drinking going on.

[Sunnyvalenting]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Since I am on the baclofen I don't even worry about the cravings. I think one thing you could do is be very aware of your feelings or cravings and trace them back and see where they come from. Observ yourself and your motivations to drink if any. Obviously your goal is abstinence at least this weekend. What does that mean for you? Before you go to the event imagine yourself at the event without drinking. Practice declining the offered wine or beer graciously. You don't really even need an excuse. I have found that a simple "no thank you, I'm fine" works quite well. I also have noticed that having a glass of something else in my hands at all times keeps the offers at a minimum. Good luck and keep us posted
all the best
Sunny

[techie]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Candi you've received some great advice already. If you gotta go leave early. In the three situations I've attended since being AF I left before the party ramped up. When you are sober, trust me, you'll know exactly when that transistion is happening. Enjoy, be safe, be sober!

[hillsidetime]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Hi Candi, and welcome. It is great that you are trying to live life without alcohol. I too, am trying to fight my way through social situations af. Like already stated, sometimes being creative really helps. One of the posts a few weeks ago, had a statement about how much focus problem drinkers put on who drinks etc, and when in reality a lot of people don't even pay it much attention - this helped me to improve my perspective. I use lots of terms when offered a drink such as "I'm good" "not now thanks" "I have one already thanks" and so forth. Drinking club soda on the rocks, or drinking from a glass makes it appear that we are drinking alcohol.

A great frustration, that I was able to work through, was that even though I was sober, alcohol was still really effecting me in this social way. You can work through it too. It takes time.

All the best,
Hill

[Doggygirl]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

I had to fight for my life to get sober, and so I was another one who avoided getting too close to AL in the early days wherever possible. I really don't want a life of doing the same old things I used to do, where everyone has a drink in their hand, and me just focusing on not drinking. That's just not the life I want, not is it the life I am leading today.

There are LOTS of things to do out in this big old world that don't involve drinking, and that are very social. I'm going on a 5K walk with a group this morning. No room for AL in that activity!!

When I DO socialize around AL, I eat before I go, arrive late, and ALWAYS have an exit strategy. I will leave before I drink, period. I decide in advance what I WILL drink. I'm prepared to simply say "no thanks" if offered an AL beverage.

BUT..in the long haul for me, this is really about building a different kind of social life.

DG

[Hippy Chick]

Socializing this weekend without alcohol

Good question Candi.