Still drunk..

[KatieB]

Hey all,
I'm on Day 3 of a weekend-long binge.. I cannot bring myself to face the world sober! what is wrong with me?? I've not seen my son for 3 days as I have been too "busy" getting drunk.. I cannot cope.. with my ex getting away with assaulting me, with his sisters supporting HIM and not me.. I am struggling.. Ive not worked in almost a week.. I keep ringing in sick.. i appreciate everyone's support on my other thread.. not sure if I can go on like this for much longer.. I am losing my mind, and am going to lose my son..:upset:

[sk8punk]

Still drunk..

I'm sorry Katie, wish I had some magic words of wisdom for you. I know how you feel. I've been there, and not to long ago. It's been said before but the change can really only come from within you. You have to be the one to want to stop. I had finally had enough of myself. I lost everyone I cared about. I hit rock bottom. I could either continue on the path I was on and die or I could become the person I knew I could be. I chose to live and get help. Now things aren't perfect but they are a lot better than they were. I enjoy waking up and living each day as it could be my last. Life is to short to live it like that. I was put here for a purpose and that is to be the best dad I can for my son.
Maybe rehab would work for you. But you have to want to let it work. Remember once you get out all your legal problems will still be there.

[Marshy]

Still drunk..

Hi Katie,

It sounds as though you're at a crossroads. I recognise it because I was there too. You can either carry on down the road you're on, drinking and losing control of your life and maybe losing your job and your son, or you can take a different path and stop drinking and regain control of your life.

It also sounds as though this addiction has a strong grip if you're considering giving up so much for it, and I recognise that too, because it also had me by the throat.

So if you choose the route of stopping drinking, it's going to take a concerted effort and you need to get deadly serious about it and throw everything you've got at it. I don't know what you've tried so far but my first few thoughts would be: doctor, counselling, AA meetings, maybe rehab. And that's just for starters. That was the beginning of the process for me, not the end.

And although you're obviously upset and angry about what has happened between you and your ex, you really need to let it go or it will continue to drag you down. Do you really want to still be drinking in a year's time, 10 years' time and blaming your ex for it?

I was a bit reluctant to reply to this because I saw your other thread and I didn't want you to take this the wrong way and think I was being harsh. I know how easy it is to do that when you feel bad about yourself. And I know how bad you feel because I felt like that too. But I just wanted to say that you can get free from this, but you do need to get serious and take action to tackle it - if that's the path you choose.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Still drunk..

Great post Marshy.
Katie I hope I have been supportive of you and will continue to be as long as you are part of this community. I say this because I also dont wish to be taken up wrong but you have to listen to what Marshy has said and make the right choice. We are rooting for you here, you can do this, I know you can.

[KatieB]

Still drunk..

Marshy- thank you.. and KTAB - you have been amazingly supportive of me from the beginning.. i appreciate your support/s so much.. im still drunk as i write this, i really need to sort myself out, i will get there, i have the help of a lovely guy - he was just a "date" but has turned into someone wonderful who is willing to help me and "put my ex in his place" - i dont know what i would do without him, or this place....

[Flip Top]

Still drunk..

Glad you have found someone to support you close by hun, we are always here to. Drink lots of water and get your head straight x

[mario]

Still drunk..

Sheri;878640 wrote: Hi Katie,

I believe you can face the world sober. You have faced the world sober in the past and you can do it again. All you have to do is stop drinking for today. You can't control what your ex does. You can't control what his sisters do. You can only control how you choose to react to what they do (or have done), and if you choose to drink and dwell on the past, you are only hurting yourself, not them. What's done is done. You can't alter what happened by drinking or dwelling, but you can certainly make things worse for yourself thats for sure. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and when we drink the way we do, it's really not alcohol that we are abusing, we are abusing ourselves. Have you given any more thought to rehab? Perhaps AA or group therapy might help, too. What about trying some of the medications like antabuse or baclofen?

Sheri

ditto to above & what marshy has said,come on katie you can do it,you have great support & friends here but you really have to want to do it yourself,The change on the outside starts within oneself.

[spuddleduck]

Still drunk..

oh katie katie katie. we are here to support you but all we can give is words. only you can take the action. you know drinking makes you feel worse. you were so much more positive when you were not drinking. its gonna be really hard but you've got to let all the crap with your ex go. you have done everything you can about that, be proud of yourself. icant say anymore than others have said. just please dont rely on your new friend, he can help but you have to do all the hard work. be strong and take care of yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS x

[Change]

Still drunk..

Grow up.

[ladyjan]

Still drunk..

Change;878842 wrote: Grow up.

that wasn't necessary...or needed here

take no notice of that thoughtless post Katie and just read all the other genuine caring posts..
you don't need negative..
just take the positive,
it's a shame but you will always get these type of thoughtless negative types..
but then again they are prob in a bad way themselves..

good luck & stay strong:l

[OverIt2007]

Still drunk..

Katie,

I feel your pain, I really do! I bet every person on here would "fix" you if they could, but as you already well know we can only fix ourselves.

I will say to you the exact same thing I will say to MYSELF, so therefore I would never ever say anything to you that does not ALSO pertain to Me.

You and me can never really really ever get our lives together as long as we turn to booze to solve our problems. It will never ever work that way. The only way to piece our lives together is sober.

OUR boys deserve healthy mothers mentally to be able to care for them. Do whatever it takes to get there, let us know how we/I can help, and I promise as your friend I will be there in any way you ever need.

Be well Katie, keep us posted.

[herosa]

Still drunk..

I have just sent you a pm. Hang in there !

[ladyjan]

Still drunk..

Katie I have been reading thru your posts
and I think I should jump in and help you with first hand experience of losing my child to social services from alcohol..
no I'm not gonna write AL coz it was ALCOHOL that caused me to lose my son or should I say my abuse of it...

And my fight to get him back.

I was in an abusive relationship god knows WHY I stayed but we do..
I fell pregnant at 43yrs old.. he hit me before, during and after the pregnancy..

jumped into a bottle of vodka and red wine to hide from it..
I have two older children, although they were still young themselves at the time 12yrs & 14 yrs, so it was hard on them as well..
I just functioned in auto pilot that they were fed, clean and schooled..
three years ago it got really bad, drinking litre bottle of vodka daily minimum, just to pass out to hide from it all...
I was in detox three times..but each time fell back..
17months ago I wanted to stop, I knew I had to, but didn'twant to ask for help, I really should have gone to detox then rehab...
but I didn't want to admit I was drinking badly again..stupid huh..!!!
I had a siezure coz I went cold turkey..my older son found me..it scared me & him shitless..
I thought if this is what happens when I try to be good, fuck it I might as well carry on drinking...!!!
at 6am next day, I went out to 24hr shop got litre of vodka.. drunk a third of it, then took my young son Ollie, to school he had just turned six and is a very sweet darling little boy.

I came back home finished the bottle off..
thought I'll just have a little nap and pick him up from school at 2pm..
I didn't
the social services did...
next I knew the police and social services were at my door with my young daughter..
her face was absotute hatred for me..
and I deserved it....
my Ollie had been taken to the judge and placed in protective custody of the state..
this was 10th novemeber 2008....

after a very long struggle of all emotions I blamed everyone else but me for losing him..
I blamed them for taking him..
they had got my son...

truth is he was in the safest place with them,
coz he wasn't in the best place for him with me in that condition, no child is..we need to be strong to protect them from harm....we are the mother and that is our job.....they must come first..above all else....

last year when I found MWO and made a load of good friends and support I managed to get straight, it took me four and a half months to finally get to proudly say I am AF...
it was not easy but it is worth it..
my baby boy comes home to me in two weeks time..
he is at home with me just now for the weekend and I love every minute being with him...
last year in the summer they could see I was still drinking for all my cries of
"Oh no, I'm not drinking anymore, I want my son back, give me my son back"..
they are not stupid....!!!
they have recently told me at that time, they were at the point of signing him into the system permenantly..!!!!

Katie it is heartbreaking to be seperated from your child.. but to lose them forever...
god there are no words a mother can say....

but maybe you should think about checking into detox and then instay rehab.. to get fully clean..
you will have more chance to keep your child that way..
if you want to chat one night or pm whatever..is ok with me..
I will give you as much advice and support as I possible can..
stay strong...never give up..:l:l
just give up the poisen booze..
alcohol is not a solution to anything, just gives more problems..
it is pure evil......

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Still drunk..

Thank you for that honest, heartfelt post Jan.

Katie I hope you can listen to what is being said here, you need to act now. We care about what happens to you, but I dont know what else to say to you.

[retteacher]

Still drunk..

Katie: I rarely come to this thread any more, but I saw your plea. I came to MWO in Apr. 07 really wanting to stop drinking. I had some success w/the support I received here. In March 09, I joined AA after a particularly bad episode similar to yours. I would look on the Alcoholics Anonymous website & find a meeting near you. You can go under the influence if you have to. Listen to others share. Ask for peoples' phone numbers. Try to get to a meeting every day for the next 90 days. If that doesn't slow down your drinking, I can't think of another suggestion. Once you get your drinking eliminated & clear your mind, you'll be able to figure out what to do about your child. Good luck.


Mary