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    #31
    Still drunk..

    Lady Jan,
    You speak so much sense! My ex has made me "lose my balls" - his constant harrassing, verbal abuse and trying to be involved in my life has led to my losing my balls/mind/life.. Its still early here, i have left a message for my drug and alcohol counsellor.. i am waiting for him to call me back so i can learn what my next move should be.. i will do ANYTHING to get my life back, mainly my son,.. my ex is so evil.. he is happy to take our son off me even though he is the reason i am going crazy.. though i know i need to start taking responsiblity.. and get my balls back! :H
    "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

    :groupluv:

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      #32
      Still drunk..

      Thank you papmom.. i really need to do something now.. i have hardly worked in the past 2 weeks.. iv taken so many sick days.. if i lose my job, i will lose my home.. i really want my counsellor to call me back as he is brilliant.. i know he will be able to help me decide what to do now..
      "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

      :groupluv:

      Comment

        #33
        Still drunk..

        KatieB;879299 wrote: p.s anotherday - where have you been??? ive missed you on here..
        Been having a little hard time Katie.

        FWIW, I know the havoc wreaked on someone's life when an abuser gets away with things. It didn't happen to me exactly like you, but it happened. My meltdown was in November and I am still not over things. I so understand the injustice.

        If you have the resources available to you where you are, I say phone them. Where I live there is a crisis team that will actually come out to one's house, although I haven't needed that since 1/1/07 - and over the abuser in my life. Yup, things went down a little differently, but I ended up a mess.

        We simply must find a way to pull things together and be strong, right? Thinking of you...

        AD

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          #34
          Still drunk..

          Thank you Another Day - you have made me remember a phone number I got given when I was at hospital on Tues.. an acute mental health care team.. i will call them now,
          I am very sorry to hear you have had some hard times too.. and its reassuring to know im not the only one that feels injustice! that is the main reason i have been "going off the rails" the past 2 weeks.. my ex and his slimy lawyers. now my ex is winning again! i really need to sort myself out..
          "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

          :groupluv:

          Comment

            #35
            Still drunk..

            KatieB;879322 wrote: Thank you Another Day - you have made me remember a phone number I got given when I was at hospital on Tues.. an acute mental health care team.. i will call them now,
            I am very sorry to hear you have had some hard times too.. and its reassuring to know im not the only one that feels injustice! that is the main reason i have been "going off the rails" the past 2 weeks.. my ex and his slimy lawyers. now my ex is winning again! i really need to sort myself out..
            Good! Please do call them.

            Remember Katie, there is *no* winning with an abuser. There simply is not. I worked at a domestic violence shelter and went through my own hell and I know this.

            We just have to pick ourselves up and move forward. Please make that call!

            AD

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              #36
              Still drunk..

              Hey Katie

              I've been absent from here but the meds have cured my alcoholism (but not the other problems in my life - and of course the can't do that!)...please get in touch if you'd like to chat at all.

              Willing you on tremendously! You're a great gal and your son will know soon one day how very lucky he is to have you.

              All the best

              8
              I don't come here much anymore but you can always mail me at rotunda 2000 at hotmail dot com (no spaces). Might be able to help with Bac emergencies

              Comment

                #37
                Still drunk..

                Katie, not much more I can say than to echo all the support that is coming your way. We all feel for you, but yep, you've got to want to break the cycle that you are in. You could look at it that all this terrible stuff you are having to go through is just what needed to happen for you to make up your mind that your relationship with alcohol is over. You ex was abusive and you felt like you had no control over that. Your relationship with alcohol is no different. Think how powerful you will feel about your whole life if you can stand up to it. I've said it before, but I believe that everything will fall into place once you have made this decision, and it really is a decision. Feel for you, my dear. Sending you all my love.

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                  #38
                  Still drunk..

                  Justforme;879368 wrote: Katie, not much more I can say than to echo all the support that is coming your way. We all feel for you, but yep, you've got to want to break the cycle that you are in. You could look at it that all this terrible stuff you are having to go through is just what needed to happen for you to make up your mind that your relationship with alcohol is over. You ex was abusive and you felt like you had no control over that. Your relationship with alcohol is no different. Think how powerful you will feel about your whole life if you can stand up to it. I've said it before, but I believe that everything will fall into place once you have made this decision, and it really is a decision. Feel for you, my dear. Sending you all my love.
                  Thank you justforme,
                  You have been wonderfully supportive of me.. I need to break the cycle.. NOW! Al keeps telling me I need it to get through.. what a load of cr*p.. i really need to remember why I am here in the 1st place! AL has destroyed my life too many times before.. I rang that number, I am going to detox today, waiting for the call...
                  "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                  :groupluv:

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Still drunk..

                    Kate, something else that has come to me reading your last few posts. You seem to be unable to say much without the words 'my ex' coming into a paragraph. I feel that this is quite symbolic of where you are right now, Whatever you are thinking/doing/trying to do you are constantly thinking 'but what about him and what he is doing/has done/might do ...'
                    An issue that I had for years that I felt I couldn't get past though not abusive was really holding me back. My counsellor said to me early in the piece that when we feel like this we should think of ourselves as though we are making a path through a jungle, where there are two paths, the one that we always take which is like a groove and we know where it will lead us, what we will come up against and even though it may not be the easiest path we take it because it is familiar to us and therefore our brain tells us it is the easy way.
                    I began to think of my thinking just like that path. I can sometimes almost visualise it in my head. One clean path that takes me down the same old track, hitting up against the same obstacles etc. etc. leading me to the same old point.
                    NOw I don't need to tell you what the counsellor was trying to get me to do. Yep. Take the path that is less travelled. The one that is new ground for me, the one that might seem overgrown and unused and you will have to push to get through it, use your machete and slash through a few vines and really push yourself. You with me, Katie?
                    Another time this counsellor said to me when I started to go on about my 'problem' was ... 'yes, but that's not your stuff - that belongs to someone else, that's their crap and you are just hanging on to it.'
                    I don't know if this makes any sense to you Katie, but a little light went on in my head when I saw those neon slogans re-appearing in your responses, like - Yes, I know I can do this, but my ex has been so horrible (my words). It's almost like what the AL voice does to us. I may be rambling here, but I just hope that I can shed a little light for you today. x

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Still drunk..

                      Hi Katie
                      So sorry for what's been going on in your life. I don't have much to add to everyone else's good advice, except to remember how good it felt to be strong and sober. But I agree that you may need some more professional help.
                      The last poster makes good sense. When I blow out and forget my resolution to be strong and AF it's usually because of unpleasant interaction with the ex. It's really important to stop allowing that to happen (although easier said than done) and stop allowing it to be an excuse. Let him grovel in his own muck, but pull yourself out of yours for the sake of your life and your child's.

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                        #41
                        Still drunk..

                        Hi Katie.
                        How are you sweety ?
                        Can I help at all ?
                        If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
                        Rejoined life 20/5/19

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