New from the UK

[Gemma]

:new:

Just want to say 'hi!' - fell on this site by accident, kind of, doing some online tests for alcoholism and alcohol abuse and there it was. Thought it looked interesting so here I am!
Realised today I have been drinking heavily for 25 years, I'm 39 so that's pretty scary, especially when I think about the (potential) state of my poor liver. Problem is, a common theme I realise from reading through many of the posts, I really enjoy drinking, socially or alone, I love the taste of a good glass of wine & do not want to give up completely, just would be great to be able to drink a glass or two without finishing a bottle or two followed, on a night out, by lashings of vodka & a guilty head & memory loss the next day. Unfortunately I have always had a high tolerance to alcohol so feel a glass or two to be a slight waste of time, how sad is that?!
Have to say I don't think I am an alcoholic but how can you be sure? I have gone without for weeks at a time without any side effects, does that mean anything?
I've ordered the book & CDs already so fingers crossed on the right path. Best wishes to everyone on here, & thanks for listening!

[toby]

New from the UK

Welcome! Your story sounds very similar to mine, I too have a high tolerance for alcohol, always did, could drink any man under the table, was cool in my 20's but sad now in my mid 30's .. I also do not think I am an alcoholic but as you say how do you know? I am definitely an abuser of alcohol, as a friend recently told me I use alcohol as a crutch, I think she is right. I have suffered badly from loneliness over the last 3 years or so and so started drinking alone rather than face up to those feelings .. I've also suffered from depression and self harm and self medicated for years .. tho as someone pointed out in another post, the irony is that the self medication has now become a bigger problem than the depression, what luck eh!!

Anyway I hope you finding this site helps you, I think we have done well to acknowledge there is a problem, we wouldn't be here otherwise! Look forward to chatting xx

[Gemma]

New from the UK

:thanks:

Hi!

Thanks for replying, means a lot me as have posted on sites before then felt a bit of a prat when no one acknowledged me....probably should have persisted but makes a difference when someone makes the first move!

It's so true what you say, what was cool in 20s gets a bit sad in our 30s, seems less fun & more desperate somehow. My wake up call this week was Friday night when getting up on Saturday to find as well as usual hangover I had somehow developed some rather nasty bruises including one on side of my head - plus no recollection of how they got there. Think what scares me most is that sense of being out of control. Sometimes when I drink I feel detached but totally aware & almost hyper in control; Friday night was wine followed by major vodka night hence the black out & loss of control. Also made a complete idiot of myself with some bloke, most of which I don't remember. Wish I could get to bottom of why I need to inebriate myself so deeply, like a slippery slope - once you're on it you can't/don't want to get off.

Sad to hear of your struggles with depression & self harm, depression I have experience of, & irony is that the booze forst alleviates then exacerbates big time. A vicious circle. Anyway, thanks again for replying & look forward to chatting more.

Gem xxx

[Cheeks]

New from the UK

Hi Gemma

Hi there,

I'm also from uk and a red wine abuser

Your stories also similar to mine. I was nursing a bruised head last weekend after falling off a chair at a party.

been coming to this site for nearly 4 weeks. It has certainly helped. I have not swtopped altogether but have cut down loads. I not doing meds yet. Want to see if I can mange to do this on my own first. there's load of supportive people here both on the forum's and chat.

Off now - I'm off work today and have decided to sign up for a gym. I'm 38 years old and going through a midlife crisis. Want to be fit and forty.


C U later

Cheeks

[Gemma]

New from the UK

Sounds like you're making great strides - good luck with the gym but try not to get too carried away....I went for a run last week (only a small one) & my legs have only just stopped aching. O woe is me at the ripe old age of 39!

Take care

Gem xxx