How do I break the cycle?

[alicia in trouble]

So here it is, Monday again. Three days of drinking behind me after being so determined all week to put an end to it once and for all.

How can I get past the weekends? Am I just kidding myself that I can actually stop drinking?

Please help.

[Guest]

How do I break the cycle?

Alicia

Hello and welcome

I myself started out as a binge drinker - although those weekend binges eventually developed into weekday, and all week benders. Binge drinking can be the worst because of the sudden impact on you physically and of course mentally. By that I mean those AF days inbetween convince us everytime we are ok now, can let our hair down etc. Come Monday you are back in the same place and one day you might not be able to stop at the end of Sunday. Took me 7 years from intially asking for help to now get 10 weeks AF although I once did 12 weeks but that's another story.

So read the site, collect up your tools and if I can do it - you can!

[Guest]

How do I break the cycle?

No, you are not kidding yourself alicia. It can be done. I suggest you change your weekend environment for starters. Tell us a liitle more about your circumstances and we might be able to give you some specific recommendations.
Giving up is the obvious logical and best thing to do. Hell...I did it (only a week so far, he he)

[retteacher]

How do I break the cycle?

Alicia: The only thing that stopped me completely was joining AA. The weekends are different now, & I'm up & running on Monday morning. Mary

[mario]

How do I break the cycle?

AliciaFocussing on negative thoughts as opposed to positive ones leaves you feeling depressed and unmotivated.

If you concentrate on how many mistakes you’ve made, or how you haven’t managed to stop drinking like you wanted to, maybe how you’ve ‘failed’ yourself and those around you, then of course you won’t feel good about yourself. Notice when you’re thinking these thoughts, and take control of them. Here’s where you need to make a choice to -

Concentrate on positive thoughts instead :
? What will improve in your life when you’ve cut down or stopped drinking?Alicia

? How much better will you feel?
? What improvements have you already made?
? Have you managed some slight reductions already?
? If so, what benefits have you started to notice because of that?
? Are you still essentially a good person, even though you’ve made mistakes?
The theory of ‘negative suggestion’ warns that if you focus on NOT doing something, it’s more likely that you’ll end up doing it, than if you were focussing on something else entirely. So if you find yourself thinking, “I must not drink, I must not drink” it’s a warning sign that you need to start concentrating on something else instead – distract yourself with another task, something absorbing. Just telling yourself “I mustn’t think about not drinking” is clearly still in that loop.

Likewise if you need to quit for a while, but you’re thinking, “Oh no, I’ll never be able to drink again“, then that will undoubtedly keep you focussed on the negative. Maybe you can drink again in the future; you don’t need to decide that now, focus on the present moment, and how good you feel about not drinking today. go for it

[alicia in trouble]

How do I break the cycle?

Thank you for the responses, I am reading and learning from each and every one!

UK blonde: I am inthe UK too *waves*. The funny thing is, looking back I actually used to drink more than I do now. I have had seven day binges, but not for a long time now. I usually have maybe a bottle of wine midweek, but mainly on the weekends is where I binge.

Blueheeler: well done on your week! I made it to day six and then the dreaded Friday hit me. I work hard, I have a full time responsible job in management. I usually get home late on a Friday and start on the vino right away. Two bottles of red I polished off on Friday Oh, and I live alone.

retteacher: I am so pleased that AA worked for you. My Dad tried it and it didn't work for him, but he did manage to quite after countless years of heavy drinking, so there is maybe hope for me yet. Well done on your success

Mario, you are so right. I do need to focus on the poeitives and tyvm for your well thought out response. I am still taking it in and will post again later on my thoughts.

Thank you guys, I do feel a bit better and also a bit more positive! :h

[Guest]

How do I break the cycle?

Ok another Brit!

A word of warning you can go through phases of reduced or different patterns of drinking, these can lull you into a false sense of security so just be wary. Yes the "I have a hard job and need to reward myself" trap is another one we all fall prey to. AL doesn't reward anyone with a drinking problem.

I also live alone which can make it easier sometimes as I just make sure I've no AL in the house(apart from the stuff I forgot I had then found months later!) and settle down with some mind numbing soaps when I'm having a craving.

AA didn't work for me however I have found myself following their principles in order to get and keep AF. So their methods do work.

[alicia in trouble]

How do I break the cycle?

Oh blonde, i did not mean to sound complacent. I know that when I have my sober head on I can think of all the benefits, how much better I will feel, look and behave without AL. I can actually visualise myself AF, because I really do enjoy my sober days believe it or not. I love hangover free mornings, working with a clear head, I really do love all of that.


Then my drinker's head tells me ' oh, you are not as bad as you used to be' and 'oh, you have worked so hard this week you deserve a treat'... I absolutely hate this merry go round and I really do want to get off. And I know it is just me. These are very old habits and hard to break, but for the first time in my life I really, really want to.


I feel like two different people sometimes. There's 'me', my family rely on me and look up to me, I have a responsible job and the trust that goes with it. And then there is the other 'me' the sneaky drinker who lies about her intake, takes the car to social events and stays AF (til I get home, there is always a bottle of wine waiting) and I have lied to get out of work on days when I have just been too hungover to deal with it.

I am not kidding myself, I know I have a problem. If I was laid off work tomorrow (god forbid!) I know I would be completely lost and immerse myself in alcohol. I don't want that. I really don't want that, and that is why I am here. Baby steps maybe, but I want to try. And people like you have no idea what an inspiration and an influence you are. :thanks:

[Marshy]

How do I break the cycle?

Hi Alicia,

I used to drink throughout the week as well, but my BIG drinking times were Friday nights after work, and all day Saturdays. One of my biggest hurdles was breaking the Friday night habit of "letting loose" for the weekend, getting drunk and starting a weekend of drinking.

On the first Friday night I was determined to be sober, I stayed home and stocked up the fridge with soft drinks - I was so used to getting up to fill my glass every five minutes that I needed a substitute liquid to drink. If there had been noting in the fridge, I might have been even more tempted to go out and buy something. I also bought some nice food so I had a few "treats" on hand. Then it's a matter of distracting yourself from thinking about drinking and getting through the evening - rubbish TV, hot bath and a book, get on the phone to (sober!) friends, play computer games, go to bed early etc.

When you've broken the pattern once, it suddenly becomes possible. And you'll be able to do it again.

[Guest]

How do I break the cycle?

alicia in trouble;880529 wrote: Oh blonde, i did not mean to sound complacent. I know that when I have my sober head on I can think of all the benefits, how much better I will feel, look and behave without AL. I can actually visualise myself AF, because I really do enjoy my sober days believe it or not. I love hangover free mornings, working with a clear head, I really do love all of that.


Then my drinker's head tells me ' oh, you are not as bad as you used to be' and 'oh, you have worked so hard this week you deserve a treat'... I absolutely hate this merry go round and I really do want to get off. And I know it is just me. These are very old habits and hard to break, but for the first time in my life I really, really want to.


I feel like two different people sometimes. There's 'me', my family rely on me and look up to me, I have a responsible job and the trust that goes with it. And then there is the other 'me' the sneaky drinker who lies about her intake, takes the car to social events and stays AF (til I get home, there is always a bottle of wine waiting) and I have lied to get out of work on days when I have just been too hungover to deal with it.

I am not kidding myself, I know I have a problem. If I was laid off work tomorrow (god forbid!) I know I would be completely lost and immerse myself in alcohol. I don't want that. I really don't want that, and that is why I am here. Baby steps maybe, but I want to try. And people like you have no idea what an inspiration and an influence you are. :thanks:

Alicia
Sorry didn't mean to sound condescending and your description is/was so like me. Yep I'm in there with you, with the way you drank, excuses etc. I still come up with the same but fortunately the sober me is now very strong and very clear so bats the alcoholic addict side right down.