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[twosox40]

It has been awhile since I have been here. I have noticed my drinking increasing again, I can't go a day without my wine. I really need to do this for myself and my kids. Went out for lunch with hubby yesterday for our anniversary and thought I would try a cosmopolitan, well I had three, I went from having a little buzz to apparently getting plastered within 15 min of my last drink. I don't even remember coming home, I remember paying the bill and getting ready to go to not remembering anything after that. Woke up this morning feeling like a complete idot. I thought I had been drugged by the bartender, but have been told that those drinks are mostly all vodka and that is what it will do if your not use to them.
Maybe it is good it happened because it really reaffirms that I need to quit. I also got drunk on Friday, but I do remember that. I don't want to depend on alcohol anymore for anything. I went 33 days once before, then I started up again, but last night was just crazy, I never got that bad, not over three drinks and I don't ever want to get that way again. I still want to cry just thinking what an idiot I must have looked like in front of my kids. My husband said I wasn't that bad, but that is not what my mom says. It had to be really bad for me to not remember a thing. So this is day one for me, please pray for me that I can be strong and do this and I will pray for all of you.

Thanks for reading,
twosox

[K9Lover]

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Welcome Twosox!
Glad to have you here. Sorry you had a bad time yesterday, we've all been where you are. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I look forward to getting to know you.
K9

[OverIt2007]

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Nice to meet you TwoSox,

So glad you found this site, you will love all the valuable information along with the friendships you will build if you want to stick around. This site does indeed help! Although I cannot say I am totally alcohol free (AF) I do feel this is a strong tool in the battle against alcohol, and having people to share this with sure helps alot!

Looking forward to knowing you better, and you can quit.. if you really want to

[twosox40]

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Thank you, Life is Better alcohol Free, it was great those 33 days a couple of years ago, just have to remind myself of that. I plan on sticking around for a long time.

Thanks,
Twosox

[OverIt2007]

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Well, we would be happy to have you aboard!! Yes, I really DO believe life is SO much better alcohol free. I still struggle daily with it, (drank yesterday) But I AM learning! You will get there, and so will I

[twosox40]

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Thank you OverIt, I wish I could stop feeling so quilty from last night. I just have to put it in the past and get on with the future.

I just got done playing a game with my 6 year old and she was so happy, she said it had been a very long time since we played a game together and as I think about it my son said he wished I would play games with him, but I don't. Wine to blame for that, get home from work, train my horse and I go home and start drinking my wine and ofcourse that means I don't want to do another thing.

I am commiting myself to this, I don't want to miss out on anymore because of it.


Twosox

[techie]

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Hi twosox so happy you made the decision to go AF again. I wish you lots of luck and hope to hear much more from you.

[Hypernova]

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Hi twosox40. I know how you feel and I am returning here again myself to start over. Had a bit of time AF and just figured oh well give it a try and take it easy. Didn't quite happen that way and now it is time to start over. I know that reading and posting on this site was a tremendous help to me in the first few weeks last time as I hope it will be again and I would encourage you to do the same. So, line in the sand? I don't know yet but I will keep trying till I get it right again. ~~ Good luck to you and I look forward to reading and posting along with you.

[not tonight]

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[QUOTE=twosox40;880222]Thank you OverIt, I wish I could stop feeling so quilty from last night. I just have to put it in the past and get on with the future.

I just got done playing a game with my 6 year old and she was so happy, she said it had been a very long time since we played a game together and as I think about it my son said he wished I would play games with him, but I don't. Wine to blame for that, get home from work, train my horse and I go home and start drinking my wine and ofcourse that means I don't want to do another thing.

Hi twosox - I am very familiar with this routine. Open a bottle of wine around 5:30 or 6:00 while making diner, and I can forget about reading to the children before bed. I also have a penchant for Cosmopolitans, but they are deadly. Don't keep beating yourself up for what happened over the weekend. It's not how you mess up but how you deal with it that matters. Looking forward to getting to know you.

[OverIt2007]

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Oh TwoSox,

I completely understand. There have been way too many days at our home where Mommy was drinking or hungover to be able to do much else, and playing any games was not in mind! I have a 6 year old too. I truly want to be the best Mom I can be, and this is the time to make the changes while they are still young, and hopefully not damaged by it. There is still time to change and make their childhoods very very happy ones! You have the opportunity (same as me) to make some major changes. There have been many many success stories on here, I hope you are one of the ones who takes off flying and never looks back. Im still working on my wings, but they are being built for flight.
You can join in on the ODAT thread if you ever like. It means One Day At A time, and we try to committ to not drinking for that day. It helps in the daily struggle.

[twosox40]

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Just an update on my progress, today is day 101, hard to believe. I have been having those stupid thoughts of having a glass of wine, but I know I can never go there again and will just have to keep fighting them, they are not nearly as strong as they used to be and hopefully with more and more time af they will get weaker and weaker. That is the difference this time around I know I can't have just one glass, where before I always thought I could. Hope all is well with all of you, thank you again so much for reaching out to me when I needed it most.

Twosox

[newstart32]

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twosox40;959769 wrote: Just an update on my progress, today is day 101, hard to believe. I have been having those stupid thoughts of having a glass of wine, but I know I can never go there again and will just have to keep fighting them, they are not nearly as strong as they used to be and hopefully with more and more time af they will get weaker and weaker. That is the difference this time around I know I can't have just one glass, where before I always thought I could. Hope all is well with all of you, thank you again so much for reaching out to me when I needed it most.

Twosox

101 days is amazing!! :goodjob: I am very new to this and need inspiring, real stories like this for encouragement. Thanks so much for sharing your progress. Good luck continuing your AF success.